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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think it's a bad idea to get kittens?

82 replies

0nTheEdge · 29/08/2017 11:07

A friend of mine needs to home kittens and they are so cute and have stolen our hearts a little. We've always wanted pets and are finally able to as we now own and the house even has a cat flap! We're going through a bit of a miserable time as well and I think the idea of kittens is lifting our spirits slightly.
However - we have three kids and the youngest is 10 months. Everything goes in his mouth. Also we are surviving on one salary as I had to give up my job when my second child was ill and then our third baby was a bit of a surprise. I am hoping to go back to work part time and am learning to drive to help enable this, but I would have to do evening shifts and the baby is still breastfed and doesn't sleep well. So that's a way off yet. Basically more money is going out than in and we're relying on savings to bridge the gap and they won't last long.
DH has his heart set on it though, but I look after the finances and do most of the housework as I'm at home.
Sorry for the long post, but I need some perspective on this and your views would be helpful. AIBU to say no to kittens?

OP posts:
Original poster
0nTheEdge · 29/08/2017 13:27

My lovely friend was told her new kitten was a boy. Then 'he' got pregnant very quickly. Mummy cat is booked in to be spayed. Of course all this means cute kittens on my newsfeed who need homes and we got a bit giddy. We're back in the real world now though, and thank you all for reassuring me that I wasn't being unreasonable to say no.
We always liked the idea of a rescue cat too so we will revisit the idea in the future when the time is right.

OP posts:
Orangebird69 · 29/08/2017 13:47

Ease up stormroof! Op has said she's not going to get them.

stormroof · 29/08/2017 13:54

@orangebird69

You're always on these threads. What are you? Cats for justice?

Orangebird69 · 29/08/2017 13:56

Eh? I love cats. I have lots of my own. I also rescue. And TNR. And rehome. So I have a bit of knowledge and experience with cats in general. That's why I'm on these threads. What's your reason for being here stormroof? Because you've nor imparted much advice or wisdom so far. 🙄

mydogmymate · 29/08/2017 14:00

I have two kittens and two adult cats ( one is the mum of the kittens) and I think I've taken on too much, so my daughter is having one of them. I've spent hundreds on spaying, neutering, flea/worm treatment and food. It's a commitment!
BUT at least the op is considering all the pros & cons and not just barging ahead. The people who do are the kittens that grow up to be cats and end up in shelters 😡

ElizabethShaw · 29/08/2017 14:02

We got a kitten about 6 weeks ago and she hasn't been hard work as such, but has cost a fortune in vets trips, vaccinations, flea treatment etc and we still have to spay and microchip her next month.

We also started off feeding gocat and supermarket kitten food and it made her shit everywhere (despite being fully litter trained and generally a very "clean" kitten) so had a few tries before getting the right food for her. Does seem to be a grain issue as she is fine on supermarket grain-free food (Butchers Choice) but a few Dreamies gave her the runs. Difficult to find grain free cheap dry food though so week give her a little bit of (very expensive) Applaws.

Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 29/08/2017 14:04

I have 2 cats I love the bones of both of them and wouldn't be without them but my god are they expensive. Am glad you have decided to put the idea on hold until your money situation is better. Cats are great company and mostly look after themselves and it's nice to come back from a night shift and be greeted at the door by my 2.

ElizabethShaw · 29/08/2017 14:08

Also its a flipping pain trying to keep the kitten inside for months while you have children wanting to go in and out constantly.

stormroof · 29/08/2017 14:13

Sorry @orangebird89 I was a rather rude to you and it was uncalled for.

Orangebird69 · 29/08/2017 14:15

No worries stormroof Wine

stormroof · 29/08/2017 14:16

Thank you. Flowers

Orangebird69 · 29/08/2017 14:22

I can be a bit 'cat-centric' stormroof and not v patient so I'm sorry too - but I've seen some horrendous cases of neglect and stupidity regarding poor choices and misinformation. Flowers

AintNobodyHereButUsKittens · 29/08/2017 14:41

There will, alas be far too many adorable unwanted kittens needing homes again next year, and the year after, when you may be financially more stable.

Kittens from a reputable rescue will cost you a rehoming fee, but that often includes the first few innoculations and the cost of neutering, so it's a bargain.

If you have time and affection to give kittens but not money, then you could look at fostering a mum and her litter for a couple of months. Rescues often need fosterers, and the one I foster for supplies food and handles any vet care. Probably not appropriate while your kids are so small but worth a thought for the future.

Mittens1969 · 29/08/2017 14:42

That's right, it's a big commitment but very rewarding if you're prepared to put the time into treating your cat right.

But you need to be able to afford it. And choose the right cat for your household.

DameDoom · 29/08/2017 15:19

We got two 'free' kittens 13 years ago. They have cost us thousands over the years - they want for nowt mind. Ours are on a prescription diet from the vet that costs a fortune. They will only sleep on 800 thread count sheets and insist on a cashmere throw each. They live like oligarchs while we shuffle round in nylon.
In the future, when finances are more stable and the children older, definitely consider adopting a slightly older mog - they are wonderful and when the time is right, you will not regret it.

DameDoom · 29/08/2017 15:24

What a lovely civilised thread - I love MN when people are happy to apologise gracefully to each other.

Iwantamarshmallow · 29/08/2017 15:36

I wouldn’t if I were you. I’ve taken on kittens twice and although I loved them both very much they were very hard work. They kept me awake all night crying , scratching , getting lost under the bed and cr@ping in my shoes. It’s also heart breaking when u loose a cat you’ve had since they were a kitten.
Also if you have a 10 month old you might want an older cat. By the time my dd came along my cat was already a few years old and able to defend herself against a grabby toddler I wouldn’t trust DD with a kitten now and she’s nearly 3

Original poster
0nTheEdge · 29/08/2017 15:52

I personally would never tell someone they couldn't afford their own children, but considering I posted in AIBU I suppose it could have been a lot worse!

OP posts:
LolaTheDarkdestroyer · 30/08/2017 00:12

Oh ffs after vacc's etc they vdn cost about £4 a week to feed. They aren't expensive they are annoying little shuts though.

QueenOfVipers · 30/08/2017 05:15

Well in a way you can't afford your children (and if you were single I'd say you can't afford yourself) do bare with me,
I'm not being a cunt, but running the household at a loss (even with savings) is dangerous.
I'm not going to give you loads of advice because I'm a bit shit at it if I'm brutally honest though I am getting better.
The credit crunch topic (particularly the frugaleers thread) is very very helpful.
From what you said in your op and first subsequent posts your dh was being a bit of a pouty twat and I wonder if he's on board with cutting costs at all... sounds as if he's got a bit of an issue with being sensible TBH which is bad when you've not got a lot coming in.
Check quidco and top cashback when you come to switch any insurances or do any shopping online at all, change your providers for gas, electric etc. meal plan like fuck. A few things that have made or saved me money recently, but as I said above I can't give loads of advice because I'm a bit shit at it myself Grin
You don't have to answer my questions btw you didn't come to aibu for that but I'd just like to help and give you some good for thought Smile

QueenOfVipers · 30/08/2017 05:24

lola not if you actually buy decent quality food... the dry tesco value stuff isn't exactly a complete diet!
Sure they'll survive but won't exactly be healthy and I don't think you could actually offer a decent diet for less than £7.50-£10 a week and that's providing if you bought in bulk.
Also, pet insurance costs money. I've paid anywhere from £15 per month (kitten no health issues) to £50 a month (7yr old male with only one eye and a hip issue). So that's £55 per month right there.
If you don't want pet insurance then good luck if you get hit with a big vet bill which would be even more challenging for OP to pay.
That's not even taking into account the outlay at the beginning of toys, bed, scratching post vaccines etc
The other regular stuff you may have to buy such as sprays and deterrents for scratching, pissing and shitting where they shouldn't scratch, piss and shit. Replacement toys when they chew them to bits (my mums cat is a bugger for this although in fairness they are cheap)

More expensive stuff you may have to buy if your kitten damages it. If op is as busy as she sounds (running a household with several kids in tow) it's going to be stressful to stop a lively kitten doing bad things - as most do and could end up even being expensive.

Even if the cat did "only cost" £4 a week...
You're at risk of a huge vet bill because you have no insurance.
Your cat may get ill due to lack of actual nutrients.

And it's still £16 a month that OP is in the red by.
Not a great idea, is it?

AddToBasket · 30/08/2017 05:39

I think this is a thread about kittens?

I am going to go against the grain and say if you can afford it (only if) then go for it. Kittens aren't kittens for long and cats are very easy to look after, especially as you already have a cat flap. They are so rewarding!

And as a hobby/interest goes, they are pretty cheap. My cat's running costs are insurance >£10 a month, and food pouches which are about £20 for the month. (This goes up a tiny bit in the winter when she's in for all her meals, but goes down in the summer when she skips meals on good hunting days.) We don't have a litter tray because we're in the countryside so no litter expense.

There will be fixed costs (injections) but you can pay monthly for these too, just ask around. My friend pays about £13 a month to the vets but I'm not sure what's included (it might include insurance as well).

You really should never be persuaded to take any pet if you can't look after it. However, if you could afford it, they do give a lot back. I would not get two though. It sounds like one would be enough.

marymoosmum · 30/08/2017 06:04

We managed with our kitten. They are expensive at the start. As they have to have double vaccination and be done. My daughter was only just one when we got our kitten and it did her a lot of good, she is fantastic with animals and very gentle. I understand adopting a cat in need of a home id a good thing to do but with little ones included I really would recommend getting a kitten, most rescues won't regime animals with young kids due to the animals backgrounds.

sashh · 30/08/2017 06:20

Have you considered fostering?

I did it until her ladyship took over my life. You basically look after a cat for Cats' Protection, they pay the vets bills, provide food, litter and equipment.

It's a really good way of having a pet cat, they can be with you for a few days up to ... well years.

Oh and if/when you go on holiday they go to another fosterer for a bit.

It would also give you an idea of the type of cat(s) your family really want.

LolaTheDarkdestroyer · 30/08/2017 10:20

My cats eat decent food I just go to wherever it is on offerSmile