AIBU to not know what to do with this time off?

[triangle4321]

Hello!

I have unintentionally become a housewife/trailing spouse/unemployed person and I feel like I'm losing my mind.

I did have a successful career and if we hadn't moved for my DH's job then I could have had a shot at promotion. I want to work here but there isn't a position at the moment.

We could do with a second income but can survive for a while without, so I have the luxury that I can wait for the right position to come along. Problem is, I don't really know what to do with all this time! DC are in school all day, I am in a new (and very exciting/overwhelming) new city, I don't really like other people so don't easily make friends and I can't spend much money.

What would you do with your time?

I'm going to be in this position very soon, but I will have the advantage/disadvantage that it will be in a country where I don't speak the language so have that, learning the language, as a target! Maybe take some classes in something?

I'd make sure you keep your skills up to date by taking courses or whatever. If I'm new country then take time to really learn the language.

In*

I would plan some walking tours of this exciting city, grab a camera and get out and explore. This has the added bonus of finding your new favourite places for later on when you are busy in a new job and want some valuable down time. Most importantly, I would definitely see this time as a special bonus in my life.

Maybe something self development-y so you can feel more comfortable with 'other people' and appreciate them more? I don't mean to sound snarky but I was a bit taken aback by the idea that someone could just not like people. Whatever's happened to you in life to get to this position surely there's some interesting investigation to be done into how you relate to the world? As a fun thing?
Maybe a meditation or yoga or Buddhism intro course, or some nice therapy on any topic that floats your boat. A career development network for women? Or a supportive learning group of some kind, where everyone is accepted (art, walking, or improv comedy spring to mind as super welcoming communities in many places).

I'd give anything to have some free time to explore myself and expand and investigate how I look at life.

Discover the new city.
Look up some online courses on futurelearn or coursera, and find some bits that interest you.
Do all the bitty shopping and little tasks at home that just don't happen when everyone is busy.
Take some time out just for you - a new hobby??? Crocheting seems to be big atm. Colouring was also popular. Neither should have massive set up costs.
Volunteer for stuff at school (I made the scenery for the school play - I have no artistic ability)
Do some exercise.
Sort the garden.

Get a boyfriend?

Make some plans to earn money.

Making money from home can be really easy. I have tried lots of things over the years since stopping work, all have been successful, one I am doing atm earns me more than my OH, and I only work part time.

Just a small suggestion, I enjoy watching travel vloggers on YouTube and have noticed several videos on " free/cheap things to do in London/Amsterdam/Paris etc. Would it be worth having a look re the city you are in? You might find something to do that sparks your interest be it museum, walks, parks, good inexpensive food eaten by locals etc. This might be nice for yourself and also provide an opportunity to do a recce for something all the family might like.

OP the luxury of time like this doesn't come along very often in our lives, I would grab it with both hands.

Excercise, run, volunteer get to know your new city. Do so OU courses. I would love to be in your position (temporarily of course)

Thank you for your replies. All very sensible suggestions and yes I do realise I am really lucky in many ways.

I did have big plans to grab my camera and explore the city and I will try to get out there and do that soon.

A quick search on Mumsnet has revealed that there are many miserable trailing spouses in a similar situation, something that actually bring me a bit of comfort. Most people tell me that would kill to be in this position.

As for the not liking people... I guess I could have phrased/explained that a little better. I find human interactions difficult. I have a happy, healthy marriage and several close friends but I find striking up polite conversation exhausting. And I'm not actually in the market for making friends, I just want to pass the time in a vaguely constructive way. I know many people thrive off conversation, friendships etc and would find this a wonderful way to pass the time. I only really mentioned it because I was interested in alternative suggestions. I certainly don't think I need to investigate this side of my personality!

Anyway thanks again for all the replies.

meetup groups in the area ?

OP, I'm in the same position (generally move every two years) but I've relocated three times in the last 18 months this time round. And it is really difficult.

I second training courses. You need to keep yourself up to date. Make yourself as valuable to a potential employer as possible. You didn't mention your area of work, but is there an opportunity to write for related publications? Voluntary roles?