Music All The Time

[DarthMaiden]

DH and I are happily married.

There is just one issue that grates me.

Everything has to be accompanied by music. Loading the dishwasher, ironing etc etc

He's got an extensive record collection (plus streamed music subs) and the whole house has been "Sonos'd" with a wireless music system.

I like music but to quote Depeche Mode I'd really like to "enjoy the silence".

In the car (with an upgraded stereo) and the house, there is never any quiet time. I retreat to the snug and I can still hear it. Music all the time in every room.

I do have the Sonos app on my phone/ipad to turn the volume down/switch off rooms but I just end up feeling hounded into other parts of the house.

The kids are fine with it - it's just me. I'm just a grumpy old fucker aren't I who wants to read in peace?

You have my sympathy OP - my personal nemesis is TalkSport. Truly dreadful noise pollution.

If hes a true connoisseur he'll know music can't exist without silence!!
I love music and can blare it out/sing as I go about my day etc, but I also love silence. It's such a rare thing thing in today's world.
I'm with pps - fuck being outvoted by kids!
I have a theory that, as another poster mentioned, constant noise is a tool used by people who can't/don't want to deal with their own thoughts, and that's fine as long as it doesn't impact on others, but it's driving you to distraction. Is he inconsiderate in other areas? Does he understand how much it's bothering you? Or does he think you're just having a moan but don't really care?

This would drive me utterly insane. Their right to noise does not trump your right to enjoy quiet, at least sometimes. You need to instigate at least one day a week as quiet, Sound-free Sundays or a daily Quiet Hour for example.

My DP, if he had his way, would be doing the same thing. Thankfully, these days, he & my DD can use headphones with their phones, destroy their hearing, and I don't have to listen. My DD & DP have very differing tastes in music, so that helps. I'm sure when I'm away, the music goes on loud & proud, but if I can't hear it, I don't care.

I hate that there are snarky comments from your family about there being something wrong with you, or that you're being uncool, when all you want is some occasional quiet. Conversely, it could be argued, that there is something wrong with people that require the constant background noise to distract them from their own thoughts.

You might even be doing their mental health a favour by trying to get them to calmly go about some periods of the day without constant aural stimulation; MH practitioners and spiritual advisors often recommend people engage in periods of quiet self-reflection through meditation and the like in order to switch off the constant barrage of sensory input to our our brains to improve concentration and our general mental health & well-being.

And remember, lack of background music/musak does not equate to deathly quiet; it gives your ears a chance to notice & enjoy ambient natural sounds such as bird-song, wind, and soft rain.

Tbh they are not "snarky" they just don't understand why it's an issue for me.

I'm reminded of a time when DH were studying for professional exams. DH "had" to have music on to revise. I was the opposite.

Like friends at A level/Uni I can't study with music but they felt it was essential.

HEADPHONES. I don't understand this being a problem to this degree when headphones exist.

Hotsouple...why should the OP have to walk around 24/7 wearing headphones?? They would give me a headache from the pressure...surely there should be a compromise where everyone has their needs and wants met within a family? The very fact that three members of her family appear to be completely negating her feelings on this is actually really upsetting. 💐 For you OP.

No her husband and children wear the headphones. I don't understand how this isn't an obvious solution!

I can't stand constant noise either.

I am so angry at husband and children for not wearing headphones and 100% on OP's side but don't see how the very obvious solution of headphones for those that would like to listen to music has gone unaddressed for so long. It makes me think the OP wants to rant, not fix it, which is fine but annoying to me because it's such an easy fix.

Ahhh...my bad! 😂 Apologies Hotsouple!

We are going the other way, and trying to introduce more music into our life - compared to spending the evenings watching crap on tv and waiting to go to bed to get up for work again..

I use Spotify 'radio' stations. This evening was one created around Abba.

My dh is the same and I love quiet, we compromise. He turns music on and if it's really bothering me I will ask him to put it off.
Can you not just ask your husband to only have it on at certain times?

I listen to music all the time. Sorry all.