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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to find this so sad

50 replies

Titterofwit · 28/08/2017 21:25

Watching 999 whats your emergency just now.
The first call out is for a burglary still in progress. The police turn up and find a skinny older man lurking downstairs and a very scared young woman upstairs still on the phone to the police. They reassure her that they are present and start sorting out the man. Turns out he is in possession of a few bits out of her food cupboard and freezer.

I know,I know. He is a criminal and needs to be punished . The poor lady in her bedroom must have been terrified.I know I would have been hysterical .

But . But all he was after was food . And only in an amount for personal use and not enough to sell.

I feel so sorry for anyone being driven to commit a crime just to eat. (I shouldnt need to say this but obviously my main concern is for the poor victim.)

How have we come to this?

OP posts:

MumIsRunningAMarathon · 28/08/2017 22:11

he's scum

he broke in and terrified her....scum

MumIsRunningAMarathon · 28/08/2017 22:12

and freezer food? prob a leg of lamb to flog down the pub for drug money

SunnySkiesSleepsintheMorning · 28/08/2017 22:12

YABU. I have some compassion for the man but I'm afraid my biggest sympathies lie with the poor woman. As others said, there are other places to steal from that don't impose on people's private and intimate lives.

OllyBJolly · 28/08/2017 22:15

I don't need to 'look at other countries' to think there's not enough help in this one

This. I'm ashamed to live in a country where people have their benefits - which our system has decided they need - stopped because they are minutes late for an appointment. What I do know is that the UK is one of the most unequal countries in the world. We have so much, but it's concentrated in the hands of so few.

MrsJamesAspey · 28/08/2017 22:16

So he will have housing and 3 meals a day. I know if I was ever in a situation where I was homeless and hungry I'd choose prison over that in a heartbeat.

And when you're released from prison you'll be homeless and hungry again

absolutelynoway · 28/08/2017 22:17

Fucking scumbag.

mogulfield · 28/08/2017 22:19

edmund how do you know what was available to me at the time? I was living with my absuive alcoholic mother and had nothing, not even my mental health.
I have sympathy for people, I've been in dire straights.
I also have sympathy for the woman who was burgled. I spend a lot of nights in this house alone as my DH works shifts and I have anxiety- if I was burgled it like have a huge impact on me (as I'm sure it would many folk).

mogulfield · 28/08/2017 22:20

And to look at other countries makes sound qualitative sense- there's a reason welfare is structured as it is throughout the developed world. The fact we do better than almost every other country is a good starting point.
The reason this has made the news is because it is rare, it is not rare in most other countries.

BeepBeepMOVE · 28/08/2017 22:22

YABU!

I find it tragically sad for the woman whose home was invaded. The very place she should feel secure. I bet she will be terrified a night for a long long time.

He could have begged on the streets and easily been given enough food for a banquet. The homeless need only sit outside a pret or any pizza place for an hour are are given a days food. I used to work near one of these and saw regulars turn up outside daily, commuters would be giving away sandwiches all over the place.

Add to the fact even the most half witted idiot seems to be able to get £50 a week out of the government for nothing. He should be ashamed of himself.

Besides what's a homeless guy going to do with freezer food?!

PoppyPopcorn · 28/08/2017 22:22

Awww, the poor ickle lamb forced into breaking into someone's house because he was so hungry and had no alternative.

What a load of rubbish. And totally insulting to the people who are struggling along on low incomes for whatever reason and would never dream of stooping so low. Also agree that there is no excuse - ever - for this sort of thing in the UK with our support system.

BeepBeepMOVE · 28/08/2017 22:23

What I do know is that the UK is one of the most unequal countries in the world.

I think you need to travel a bit more

Pantryboy · 28/08/2017 22:23

I find it very sad I agree OP , I think the lady in question would rather give him some food if he had asked her for some, I know I would , poor lady .... it's so tragic

Urglewurgle · 28/08/2017 22:24

OP, I felt the same and also work somewhere where I come into daily contact with people on benefits etc.

He had taken frozen wedges and cuppa soups. There is obviously no excuse for theft but he must've been desperate to steal bloody cuppa soups!

And what does he do next when he's released? He still doesn't have any food. Yes there are food banks but, where I am, you need to be referred by a doctor, housing association etc. so say something had happened Friday last week meaning you have no money and no food, you'd be waiting till Tuesday to get referred.

The attitude that 'at least he'll get fed in prison' is so distasteful and all a bit Scrooge and 'are there no poorhouses ' to me.

EdmundCleverClogs · 28/08/2017 22:25

I've been skint (more than skint) and sold stuff/worked terrible jobs/borrowed off friends/claimed JSA.

mogulfield, that is a direct quote from yourself, so I can only take from what you said that you did have other things available to you. In the case of the OP, of course I feel more for the woman, the long term effect will only be negative. However, the overall situation is reflective of our current society and people's desperation turning them into criminals.

More than ever, most of us are only one bad month away from the gutter, even if some don't recognise that. It's shocking how quickly things can go from 'fine' to 'disaster' these days, even if you don't think it will happen to you.

Urglewurgle · 28/08/2017 22:26

@Pantryboy. I said the same to DP, if he'd have knocked on ours I'd have given him some food.

A cleaner in my workplace got fired for stealing money from a charity box, she got £11. She must've been desperate and anybody would've loaned/given her it.

tehmina23 · 28/08/2017 22:30

I'm sorry but that poor woman was probably in fear of being attacked, burglaries are terrifying even when you aren't in the home.

ShoesHaveSouls · 28/08/2017 22:31

Fuck I wish hadn't read this. It is sad OP. It's a shit state of affairs that people are burgling for food in this day and age

ineedamoreadultieradult · 28/08/2017 22:33

The UK is far from one of the most unequal countries. We have a really skewed view in this country because we have been so well looked after. I have lived in countries where you get no help, literally nothing. You can't go to hospital and get free health care, no one is going to put you up in emergency housing even if you have kids, no free education, no food banks, no welfare payments at all and if you do end up in prison you will more than likely be killed or starve if you don't have family to bring food to you or the ability to fight for food when you are inside. So yes I do think in this country of all else fails there is always prison as a last resort.

It's obviously not ideal and people should not overlook our countries welfare failings on the basis that other countries have it worse but I think some people definitely lack perspective.

tehmina23 · 28/08/2017 22:33

One of my friends is homeless & often hungry, she wouldn't burgle a house.

(I have offered her a room but she'd rather sleep in a van with her boyfriend who I don't like. We all give her food when we see her)

mogulfield · 28/08/2017 22:35

edmund my 'choice' in the end was living with my alcoholic abusive mother. I joined the armed forces and managed to escape.
Anyway I fear we're derailing the thread and I don't wish for this to turn into some kind of 'my life was shitter than his' top trumps. Your comment about how one event can turn your life into disaster resonates, I totally agree with you there. I could be back there again, and am very very thankful I'm not.

Pantryboy · 28/08/2017 22:55

Yes Urgle my dh friend from work is now homeless in Cardiff, We are talking about a very handsome man, with a damn good job (BT for years) and a flat and a car , friends workmates family. He had a breakdown and depression lost his job and flat and the rest followed. He lives on £8 a day which is just enough for him to eat . My heart aches for him. My DH tried to get him to come back to where we live but he won't hes too far gone to the dark side we think to ever come back.

OllyBJolly · 28/08/2017 22:56

The UK is far from one of the most unequal countries

I should have qualified that. The UK is one of the most unequal countries of the developed countries. We shouldn't have the levels of poverty that we have now. www.equalitytrust.org.uk/scale-economic-inequality-uk.

Boulshired · 28/08/2017 23:18

If he was sent to prison he would of had more on his records than the theft of food from this ladies house.

GabsAlot · 28/08/2017 23:43

it is sad but like othrs sai steal from a shop or somthing not someonse home

if he broke into our house my h would kill him before asking questions

QuackPorridgeBacon · 29/08/2017 17:25

I get why you feel sad op but he should never have broken into someone's house it's not right to scare someone just to put your needs first when there are other means.

I've stolen food from shops before because I was so hungry and so poor, I would never steal from someone though let alone from their home. Steal from shops, like someone said it's still a crime with a victim but a lot less scaring going on.

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