AIBU to lose my patience over this

[Reike]

Good evening everyone,

I'm currently on the edge and pacing the floor. Need a good rant.

I have asked my best friend (who lives one floor above me) to give me my spare key that she had. I want to give it to my DF because he offered to due some work while I'm not there. That was a little more than two weeks ago. No key so far. I asked her again via text and a week later again in person. She replied she would throw it in my letter box when she would leave with the dog for a walk later that evening. Still no key. Now that was on Friday and today I texted her a short reminder " Keys...?" I know that sounds harsh but 1. She usually texts me like this so I thought I might as well do the same 2. I'm losing my patience and am done with asking nicely again.

This is also not the first time I'm waiting for her to give me something back. Last time I lend her the key to my cellar so she could put some of her stuff there since her own cellar was full. That was in March. Got the key back in June (after asking for weeks) and found out she put even more stuff in there without asking.

So anyway after I texted her today I got a rather snipping reply immediately after:

"Well hello to you too. Nice choice of words. If I had texted you this you would have given me hell. Not okay but all right...letter box! "

I replied to her that it was just supposed to be a little reminder but ok...

Should also note that she has a habit of texting me at 5am to ask me what I'm doing or whether I want to meet for coffee later. Asked her so many times to please stop doing this as she was waking me up. I suffer from several mental health issues so I find it hard to sleep at night. So her waking me when I finally fell asleep is really not helping. These few hours of sleep I get are important to me. I mentioned this to her and explained but she completely ignored it.

Anyway...Maybe I should have choosing better words but seriously, asking nicely again would make me feel like a fool. There are other issues with her so I guess I'm slowly reaching a boiling point.

AIBU to lose my patience? Really fuming right now that she's making me feel so low. All about a damn key. Or maybe I need a new best friend if she is ruffling my feathers so much. My anxiety is not helping at all, making me super sensitive to such things. Or am I right in being pissed off?

Can't you just go up and get it?

Is her home neat and tidy? I think she has lost it. I think she misplaced the cellar key, and that was why it took so long to give it back and has now done the same thing with your door key.

Would love to. But she's either never at home or doesn't know where it is at the moment

I would have just popped upstairs and collected the keys

Stormwhale It's quite tidy but she is very chaotic character wise. She takes up several things at once and I guess that is why she forgets. Her mind is all over the place.

Crispyturtle She is never home or when I'm in her apartment she doesn't know where it is at the moment. I'm also quite shy and always feel like I'm getting on people's nerve if I ask them the same thing several times. It's stupid really, I know

So has she given you the key back now?

sonjadog Yes, it was in my letter box. Which I'm really happy about but I'm still so annoyed over the whole thing. Probably BU

I think you were justifiable annoyed about it. She sounds rather self-absorbed. Maybe you should avoid lending things to her in future?

Yes don't lend her anything else. And why are you not putting your phone on silent at night?

iamyourequal my usual alarm clock is broken and I still have to buy a new one. Using phone as alarm and hasn't been a problem before. She's the only one who would text at these ridiculous times

But yes, believe me a new alarm clock is my top priority

Also just found out there's a night mode on the iPhone which allows me to still hear my alarm even when the phone is on silent. Only took me 5 years to find that

Good. Exactly what I meant.

Reika I was just about to post that your alarms will still work even of you silence calls.
You could put your spare key on a very large heavy keyfob, like a cheeseboard, hotels used to do this to stop people taking them home. That would be difficult for your so-called friend to misplace.

Somewhat irrelevant question - where's her cellar if she lives on the floor above you? Bit baffled!

Inertia We live in a 9 flat house. There are cellars for every flat in the basement of the house.

FadedRed That is a good idea but tbh I have no intention to give her back my key. So she won't get her hands on it again.

On Friday she admitted that she "accidentally" scratched my name plate on the letterbox off because apparently it was dirty and she wanted to clean it. Only noticed when she told me this that my letterbox was nameless! That is why she won't be in care of anything that I own from now on

Is her surname Bean? She sounds like that very unfunny Rowan Atkinson character.

If you put your phone on flight mode you won't receive calls/ texts but your alarm will still work.
And don't rise to her snarky text

Put your phone on Do Not Disturb mode and go and get another key cut. She's clearly lost yours and doesn't want to tell you.

Another dysfunctional relationship between 'friends' who cannot speak to each other and communicate via phone.
I hate to imagine enemies if these are friends.

How does she have a cellar if she lives a floor above you?

Crunchymum Our cellars are all in the basement of the house. There's one for each of the flats

Neutrogena believe me I'm aware of that

iamyourequal my usual alarm clock is broken and I still have to buy a new one

So go out and buy one! Why make yourself even more sleep deprived by keeping your phone on when you know not-so-friend will be texting you as soon as the cock crows?

She sounds like a shit friend, btw. I wouldn't be giving her any more keys unless I had another duplicate set made.