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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get a dog?

28 replies

Wanderlust1984 · 26/08/2017 23:35

I fucking LOVE dogs. I live alone with 7 yo DD. I really want to home a rescue dog. Is it doable with a FT job? I could nip home some lunchtimes or work from home and/or have family closeby who could help. Is this cruel??

OP posts:
geekone · 26/08/2017 23:36

Rescue centre won't give you a dog if you work full time and don't have the time to spend with a dog, sorry.

JamAndBread · 26/08/2017 23:38

Can you actually work from home?

We'd like a dog but work full time too. We just cant do it at the moment - it feels cruel.

Original poster
Wanderlust1984 · 26/08/2017 23:39

They will, they've confirmed it's fine. And yes, my job is awesome enough I can work from wherever the fook I want 😁😁

OP posts:
JigglyTuff · 26/08/2017 23:45

You just have to be mega organised. I take my dog out super early (before DS even wakes up) on the days I have to travel for work. Plus the dog walker.

With a 7YO will you be able to do walking and your job and care for her? She's too young to leave alone and while my DS said he was keen to do walking, in reality, he's a lazy sod but old enough for me to leave him alone for 45 minutes.

JamAndBread · 26/08/2017 23:51

Ah jealous! Well in that case:
Work from home always + Employ your dog as office mascot = Happy Days

Really though, only you know how demanding your job is and if you can juggle it all to give a dog a good quality of life.

Tigger85 · 26/08/2017 23:52

I have rescue dogs from one of the big name rescues charities. My partner and I both work full time, rescues are fine with this provided you make sure someone spends time with the dog part way through the day. This could be yourself, a neighbour, a dog walkers, dog sitter etc. They don't like dogs to be left for more than 4 hrs at a time. The age of your dd is more likely to be a barrier for some rescues.

DD0314 · 26/08/2017 23:56

Research breeds and choose one that doesn't need massive amounts of exercise. DH and I both work full time and on the days I can't come home for lunch we get someone to pop in and just take him out for a bit. Make it something you and your daughter do together and be prepared to change your routine to make room for him. We get up earlier to walk him and stay up later for the same reason. It's hard work with a child and FT job but it's also so good in so many ways.

NorthumbrianGirl · 27/08/2017 01:17

My dp takes ddog to work with him - is that an option in your job?

Gubbins · 27/08/2017 05:30

Get a greyhound! There are thousands of retired and failed racers needing to be rehomed every year. They sleep for 18 hours a day, are very used to being left without human interaction for long periods, and only need two twenty minute walks a day.

You'd probably need to find a rehoming charity that fosters, as they'll have dogs that are proven with children. A dog that's been adopted straight from kennels won't ever have lived in a family environment or possibly even have seen a child, so usually wouldn't be allowed to go to anyone with a child under 10. But there are loads of greyhound rehoming charities so I'm sure you'd be able to find the right dog for you.

BeepBeepMOVE · 27/08/2017 07:53

Do you have time to walk it boring, lunch and evening? If you are leaving it alone then the more exercise the better. Personally I think more than 4 hours a day alone is cruel but plenty of people seem to think it's normal to leave dog 9-5.

nodogsinthebedroom · 27/08/2017 08:12

If the rescue centre are happy and you can genuinely commit to not leaving ddog alone for for more than 4 hours at a time then I can't see any reason why not on the face of it.

Have you researched cost, exercise requirements, training methods etc?

Florence16 · 27/08/2017 08:19

We have three dogs and work full time. DH does shifts so they're either left 7.30-3.30 or 11-5.30 and DH comes home in the middle for 45 mins. Someone is here all day three days a week.

The dogs are very important and they do restrict us in terms of going out all day on the spur of the moment. Whenever we've added a new one they've had sufficient time to settle in. Our latest addition was a puppy mid August last year. She wasn't 'left' for a whole day eg more than four hours (with a break) until she'd been home about 2 months. She is in her challenging phase currently but still far better than my eldest dog was! Definitely make sure you can afford very good insurance. I do think Pet Plan are the best personally (one of mine I've claimed over £10k for and he now has his own bank account because he didn't start out with Pet Plan which is who they are all now with).

FlakeBook · 27/08/2017 09:26

My 7 year old walks our dog for half an hour alone (we live rurally) and is fine while I take dog out if she doesn't want to come.

It sounds as though you'be thought it through and can commit.

Lupinhere37 · 27/08/2017 14:40

Just a word of caution, re a rescue dog and a 7 year old. We took on a small rescue dog from a well known rescue charity, who assessed her as "good with children".
Luckily we have one quiet 14 year old because it's absolutely untrue that the poor dog is good with younger children. She's terrified of them, yaps at them in the street and has attempted to bite my 7 yr old niece whilst I was supervising them both. Luckily the dog doesn't have too many teeth and is quite small but still, I'm now paying out a fortune on dog training and every time anything is going to involve children, the dog needs to go and stay with our dog walker.
It's been really upsetting, as we love her, as does our original dog of the same breed and she's a quiet, gentle, timid little soul who had a horrid start in life. I'm really worried that I'm doing the wrong thing in trying to train her and perhaps she should be destroyed because of the attempted bite.
I will be judged by people with differing opinions, whatever option I choose.
Anyway, I'm rambling. Guess what I'm trying to say is, do everything you can to ensure your chosen rescue will be safe around children, when you have one so young and make sure you don't leave them alone.
Btw, I work full time from home and my OH is away a lot so yes it is possible! Just get a dog walker/minder that you're able to use as back up, as dogs can be restrictive if you do ever need to be out for longer periods of time than 4 or 5 hours.

nowwheredidmyunicorngo · 27/08/2017 15:23

Sorry OP but this is a really selfish things to do. It is absolutely not OK to leave a dog all day with a 5 minute hello (or even a walk) at lunchtime.

Poor thing. Should be illegal to do this. It's not just about them needing to pee, but they need company.

Please, please don't do this.

I wanted a dog years ago but worked FT and so didn't do it.

Could you rehome a cat instead?

nodogsinthebedroom · 27/08/2017 18:12

nowwheredidmyunicorngo I can see your point but we live in an imperfect world and if only sahps and those who work from home ft rehomed dogs surely the would be thousands (more than there already are) languishing in kennels. Surely that would be worse?

Halfsack · 27/08/2017 18:20

We leave our dog for long periods. He's a happy healthy dog. Loved kids. So all this "cruel to leave them longer than 4hr is tosh) if they're used to it it's fine. Think about when you leave them to go to sleep for 8/12 hr. Have you had dogs before? Make sure you thoroughly research whatever bread you're rescuing. Think about all the cost implications and take into consideration that you can't just go away without having them boarded.

Screwinthetuna · 27/08/2017 18:37

If you can give a dog lots of love then do it. What's better, some potential bad owner adopting them, never waking them and treating them badly, or you adopting them, and filling the rest of their life with love and happiness.
I think it's cruel to shut them in a crate all day or longer than they can hold their bladder, but a walk before work, quick let out at lunch and lots of attention all evening and weekends can be a great life. Do it :)

Flyingflipflop · 27/08/2017 18:48

Get a greyhound!...........and only need two twenty minute walks a day.

Unless it's raining. Then you have to fight the buggers out of the door just to get them to go for a wee!!!

Maelstrop · 27/08/2017 19:01

I would say no if you're thinking of a puppy. Get a rescue who is used to being left.

honeyroar · 27/08/2017 19:14

Get two! Dogs need company and if left long periods are best with another dog for company. My dad lives next door to us and let's my dogs out in our field for a run a few times a day if we are both at work (quite rare). He says he can hear them playing through the wall (the two labs love playing tug of war and growl while they do).

I'd suggest getting a medium sized cross breed dog, not too young, for your first dog. Not too confident and not too submissive/scared if you have a child. Pick with your head as much as your heart. We've always had rescues, of varying degrees of sad history (first just passed on as the family had no time and no garden plus a toddler in a little house and the bouncy lab kept knocking him over! The second was stupidly energetic and had had four homes in his first year - he needed our fields to let off steam! And the last was an abused Romanian stray). All have turned into lovely dogs with no major issues, but have taken love and time to settle them.

Primrose06 · 27/08/2017 19:51

A lot depends on the type and age of dog.
Never a puppy..
I just wonder if you have a garden? If so a small or older dog would be quite happy to race round it and dd could throw ball and such with it there. Not all dogs need huge walks daily.
I am not able to walk far and for this reason we chose a small breed. She is a house dog and has access to a well fenced garden at her leisure.
You need to also make practical decisions such as where it sleeps and what rooms it is allowed in and such.We found a pet gate essential.
Pet insurance is essential but despite have good pet plan there is an excess. In that I pay the first so much. Worming and lice treatments are excluded.
Training classes are beneficial.
That said you will get the most unconditional love and form a great bond.
Hope all works out .
Little miss naughty earlier when dh was in the same room. He hadnt noticed .!!

To get a dog?
nowwheredidmyunicorngo · 27/08/2017 20:11

It is kinder to have a dog PTS than left on its own for long periods every day. I realise that is not a popular opinion but it's true.

You can tell yourself differently, but I'm afraid you are kidding yourselves.

nowwheredidmyunicorngo · 27/08/2017 20:13

Halfsack - yes, I have always had dogs. And I have never left them for longer than 4-5 hours.

K1092902 · 27/08/2017 20:27

We have two (Rottweilers) and considering a third.

Both me and DH work fulltime. He gets up at 6 every morning and they all go for a run in the park until 7/7.30. They then have breakfast with the family and then put outside in their kennel for the day- they have a large shed with beds in and a big outdoor run for them to run up and down all day. Either me/DH or my mum come and take them out at lunchtime for another good 30-45 mins, eat lunch with us and then are let out again by 6pm for another walk for an hour.

We have them crates indoors at night. In extreme weather we have had to crate them indoors- but only handful of times in the past nearly 10 years.

It's not ideal we will admit- but we rescued both of them as pups and they are very much part of the family.