To consider complaining about this?

[Welshmaenad]

And I don't mean complain really just express how it made me feel and suggest it should be addressed.

I'm in hospital, admitted yesterday to ward from A&E. ward is a surgical ward and women only, all staff are also female. Am in a six-bay ward, fully occupied.

This morning I was told I needed to be taken to theatre for emergency surgery on my breast. I was very upset and unable to reach my DP, who was on a plane. I was gowned up and prepped in the ward and asked to wait on my bed. I then noticed that another patient had a male visitor in the ward despite it not being visiting hours. I told staff I felt his presence wasn't appropriate as another lady and myself were both being gowned for surgery. I was told they could pull my curtain across but not fully close me in - I said I thought they should ask him to leave, as two female patients were in a vulnerable state. This was ignored.

When I returned from theatre/recovery, a different patient had a male visitor - still outside of visiting times. I was very exposed in just a gown and mesh knickers, was on oxygen and feeling quite unwell, and again really vulnerable. I was not able to have my curtains closed as I needed to be observed. As soon as I felt able to get up I therefore went off to the loos and got myself dressed as I wasn't happy to have other people's visitors around me in the state I was in, when really I just wanted to sleep.

AIBU in thinking it is inappropriate to allow male visitors on the ward outside of visiting times when it is a women only surgical ward and women are in a vulnerable state? Maybe I'm just being oversensitive because I've had a tough few days. Neither of the women who had the visitors were in distress, and the men were just sat playing with their phones. The post surgery visitor turned out to be there to collect her as she was being discharged but surely could have waited elsewhere?

This is a tough one, YANBU for finding it hard. But there are probably reasons why the partners were there and you don't know what those reasons were. So I can understand why you're distressed about if, and I don't quite get why it wouldn't have hurt to have been given the privacy of having the curtains drawn enough for you not to have been visible to the male visitors. (They really won't have noticed you at all, though.)

YANBU. You should feel safe in hospital and be given the opportunity to rest and recover. This can't happen if the wards are full of visitors hanging around.

Why would it matter whether it was in visiting times or not? Surgical lists don't stop during visiting times. Many wards have open visiting and many more are flexible in the best interest of patients.

Day surgery units are usually mixed sex with men and women in gowns. Visitors are allowed throughout the day.

I think, given you could wear a dressing gown, pull curtains, use a blanket or sheet to cover you that you haven't really got cause for complaint. Hope you're feeling better though.

Yanbu. As an ex nurse I think the hospitals are being poorly run in some ways.

Patients need rest, proper sleep to recover from illness/surgery, numerous studies back this up.

I also think getting rid of post surgery obs wards was a terrible idea. They should be reinstated.

In most other countries visiting hours are strictly enforced for good reason.

I'm sorry you were so sick you wanted comfort but let appropriateness dictate and so didn't let your DP give you that comfort. I would want my dh with me for major surgery; he'd be there for me and not for perving at sick ladies with catheters in - you need to get some perspective.

Nuttynoo is right. At a time of distress you need your partner. YABU to try and deny others that

I think you are being unreasonable on this, my husband had surgery last year and I stayed on the men only ward outside of visiting hours as he was being admitted from A&E.

Another viewpoint, I had our baby earlier this year and there can't be a more vulnerable state that post birth and male relatives (this is other than partners, dads of the new mum etc) were constantly on the wards outside of official visiting hours. I didn't think twice about it, at one point I was sitting on a giant sanitary towel bleeding post c section and had a catheter in.

It really does depend on your own mindset but since your asking for opinions then in my opinion, yes YABU.