What should I do??

[princesscallie]

Okay I've posted before about this issue but now Im wondering what I should do. A year ago I caught a relatives son poking at my daughters private's and bum. He had told her to lie down on the bed and then took down her pants. I thought they were playing and went in to tell her we were going home and I caught him redhanded. I called his mam and showed/told her what was happening. I just scooped my daughter up and left. She rang me after a while and was very upset and I said I wouldn't make a big deal out of it but since then I have had no contact with her or her child.

Fast forward a year and I was at a family wedding. I was uncomfortable being there and in hindsight I shouldn't have gone. But I had too much to drink and have now been told I said something to her that upset her and her partner about their son. I've no memory of what I said (I know I shouldn't have gotten so drunk) but another relative has told me if I don't apologise for what I've said there will be no relationship between the children and I assume the adults again. I don't really mind about this as I would never feel comfortable leaving eithrr of my daughter's in the company of this child again. But I'm wondering aibu in thinking this way and should I apologise for what I said and still keep the children apart or just I just leave things as they are?

If you made remarks about their 5 yo child you obviously feel it wasn't just kids natural curiosity.. In which case you should report it.

Could they have been playing doctors? Maybe he'd been taken to the doctor with suspected worm infection or something, and a doctor had examined him or done the sellotape test? It's only happened once, hasn't it? I think it's a very big leap that some PPs are making saying he'll be a sex offender. Children do have a natural curiosity about private parts. I can remember comparing bits with some other female friends when we were quite a bit older, maybe 7.

At five years old that is perfectly normal behaviour. He is just entering the phalluc stage of psychosexual development during which it is common for children to show increased interest in their own and other children's 'private' bits. Some children rub against chairs, other children try to explore other children's bodies. Obviously it is not ok and the boy needs a talking to about boundaries but you are overreacting somewhat-I can't help but wonder whether you are colouring what is a fairly innocent and innocuous childhood moment with memories and feelings from your own past. You don't have to have a relationship with these people, clearly it makes you uncomfortable so why should you but there is also no need to insult an innocent child. Apologise to the parents, explain that you were drunk, say that you think it is best to break contact and move on with your life.

HE IS 5! He isn't 'a future rapist. He's a young child who is either exploring or is the victim of abuse himself. Yes report it. Not because of what he did to your daughter, but because of why.

Some posters are jumping the gun a hell of a lot here. This is a 5year old child, he is most likely just exploring and interested in the difference between boys and girls.
If you are concerned he is being abused himself and is demonstrating sexualised behaviour then please do report it for his own sake.
Please don't demonise a little boy.

Please report it to social services - not least for the sake of the little boy who may well be being abused himself

I'm sorry Ttbb, but you've just gone off a Freudian theory, which is massively criticised by a great number of professionals. It's normal for children to be curious about their bodies but what OP has described is not considered normal behaviour. Especially considering OP has confirmed a history of sexual abuse in the family.

Having worked with sexually abused children, it is indicative of something amiss and it should be reported. To put that the boy is a future rapist is a truly horrible thing to say. He could potentially be a victim and if so, he'd be "playing" what he has experienced or seen because that's what young children do.

Really, a five yo boy is a future rapist- aren't you lovely.
The fact that you've decided to cut contact and not allowed your child to see this boy suggests that you don't think it was just curiosity, so why haven't you reported it?

Keep her away as he has molested her twice and report it for HIS welfare as well as that of other children. He has obviously seen/been exposed to something he should not have and you've said there is a history of abuse within the family - it might extend further than you think it does. For heavens sake stop procrastinating and report it. He could be being abused!