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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To cancel Christmas

14 replies

Mrtumblemustdie · 26/08/2017 18:57

I know this is a bit premature, but we are moving away from family and I also have family members who shop for all of their Christmas gifts in Sept, so I need to address it now. Basically, I am thinking about letting each of our families know that we won't be buying Christmas gifts this year. This is for several reasons. Firstly, I spend most of Nov and December shopping for gifts (for some quite materialistic members off family) which then go off into the abyss and no thanks is ever received. Secondly, by the time I get to Christmas, I am usually too burnt out to enjoy it and I think all of the gift buying misses the point of what it should be about. Thirdly, we try to avoid buying unethically sourced plastic tat for our DS, but mountains of it come through the door on Christmas Day and we spend the whole year wading through it while DS largely ignores it. I think that DS gets more than enough gifts from us, so he won't suffer and the cousins also get loads of stuff too. I'm not trying to be mean at all, but I feel like the consumerist aspect of the celebration has gone crazy an I want to pull back from it. Advice appreciated before the inlaws hit the shops in Sept.

OP posts:
DearMrDilkington · 26/08/2017 18:59

You sound like a spoil sport tbh.

WorraLiberty · 26/08/2017 19:00

It's not cancelling Christmas though is it?

It's just telling people you won't be buying/accepting presents.

Unless you meant to say you won't be having Christmas dinner/putting up decs/doing Christmas activities etc?

Mrtumblemustdie · 26/08/2017 19:03

No, even though we are moving, people will be welcome at the Christmas table/o visit whenever they want over the Christmas period. I would just rather spend time with my immediate family than in the shops and wrapping dozens of pointless gifts.

OP posts:
Chottie · 26/08/2017 19:05

Why don't you suggest that everyone joins in a family Secret Santa so there is only one present to buy?

Or ask for experiences rather than things. Such as NT membership for a year, or a day out at a theme park, or swimming lessons for DS?

Theimpossiblegirl · 26/08/2017 19:07

Not a spoilsport at all, Christmas can get a bit bonkers with the mass consumerism.

Message everyone that you normally buy for/receive from and say that you are cutting back this year so please don't feel that they have to buy you anything. For very close relatives (Grandparents etc.) a lovely framed photograph of DC as a token to mark the occasion should do the job.

Blame the move or be honest and say that you are having a low-key, traditional Christmas with minimal shopping.

If you still get loads of plastic tat, give some to charity.

Mrtumblemustdie · 26/08/2017 19:10

Chorus, I tried that approach a couple of years ago, as I think it is more important to have experiences than gifts, but it went down like a lead balloon. I just don't think they are interested in that kind of thing.

OP posts:
SpiritedLondon · 26/08/2017 19:10

We do a secret Santa and spend a reasonable amount ( £50. Ish) but exclude the kids from this since Santa brings their presents obviously!!!

Mrtumblemustdie · 26/08/2017 19:12

Should have said Chottie, sorry!

OP posts:
pamish · 26/08/2017 19:13

I stopped doing xmas years ago. Decades. I'm not a xtian.

The best thing about it is that (unless you're a nurse etc) everyone is on holiday at the same time, so it's easy to get together with family/friends.

I have fond memories of huge family xmases when I was little, but the memory is of sleeping eight to a room and being up late, not armsful of presents.

My family does do presents but they understand that I don't want to, so are happy with oxfam goats, and I get one pair of socks as the ritual exchange. Our tastes are so different that knowing what to give is impossible anyway.

Just tell everyone you're not giving presents, and that please you do not want them, not even little ones. They may be just as relieved as you will be. Or get them all to do secret santa -- one small present each, name drawn from hat, max price £2.
.

Mrtumblemustdie · 26/08/2017 19:40

I also find it strange that there seems to be no appreciation of the gifts. It's not the main reason why I would stop the buying/receiving of them, but I was always taught to say thank you. We sit down after Christmas and turn making thank you cards into a craft activity.

OP posts:
pamish · 26/08/2017 19:43

Say it's because we are all decluttering now.

scrabbler3 · 26/08/2017 20:23

If they start shopping in September you're right to be thinking about it now. Perhaps send out a friendly email stating that you won't be buying or expecting gifts this year but that you'll still be up for socialising (keep it jovial). Stick to your guns if you receive any negative feedback. I wouldn't bother mentioning the lack of thank-you notes.

nowwheredidmyunicorngo · 26/08/2017 20:27

YANBU at all.

Years ago my family agreed that adults don't buy for each other but kids get pressies. I hate shopping and am not materialistic so it's bliss for me. Some years we have done a secret santa though, which is a nice compromise.

DH's family all buy for each other and I find it a total chore. Strike me down but it's true!

mayhew · 26/08/2017 20:44

When my daughter was little, we only bought her tiny pressies because of the deluge from MIL. Adults, we all agreed to stop, except for adult children:parents. My parents, consumable presents only.
That kept it under control.

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