To ask for your advice/top tips?

[melissacx9]

Ok, so this probably doesn't really belong on AIBU, but I didn't know where else to put it & I also know there's a lot of traffic here :)

I'm starting the first year of my Midwifery degree in a few weeks and I'm so excited. I gave birth to a premature baby in February of this year who is now happy and healthy and just generally perfect. I experienced some really amazing, and also really horrific, Midwifery care which has given me an idea as to the type of Midwife that I want to be.

I know the money isn't great, I know the shifts are awful & I know that there's a lot of bullying in the profession - basically, I'm aware that it's not glamorous! But I really believe that I will make a brilliant Midwife, and I hope that I'll be a Midwife that people will remember fondly and speak positively about rather than the other types!

I'm interested to know about other people's experiences of Midwifery care - good or bad - and if you have any tips or advice that you think will be helpful when working with women as a Midwife :)

Aw bless you! What a conscious superstar you are

I have serious allergies to substances in hospitals....there are 2 specific incidents I remember despite being 'out if it' for 24 hours.

The first - without my knowledge, I had been allocated a private room to ensure I wasn't expised to the substances. There was a big sign at the start of the corridor telling people not to use that product, a big sign on the outside of my door & a big sign above my bed as well as on the en-suite bathroom door.

The second - I asked for painkillers at 3am, was still waiting at 6am and in the end I gave up waiting.

Moral of the story: everyone is individual in every aspect of care.

Thankyou for asking, you sound lovely

Good Luck with your studies - you will be great.

My experience is that the ante natal and delivery midwives where so amazing, but once you are back on post natal ward, they don't give a fuck about you and want you gone.

I promise you, I am no softie. I too had a very sick baby, and the 5 days I spent in hospital with him after his birth where awful. I felt neglected, bullied and patronised by the midwives. There was one incident of downright cruelty. Second birth - I waddled out the door after 3 hours - no way I was going to stay there.

I have spoken to a neighbour of mine who is a midwife about this, and she admitted that most midwives only really like the delivery shifts and not the post natal. They change over every 3 months? According to her post natal is seen by many midwives as a boring 3 months to get through.

I am sure you will one to make a difference!

You sound lovely.

I'm no softie either but during my first delivery I was told I wasn't in pain and my baby wasn't coming. It made me feel inadequate and stupid. The mw was wrong, and do know she didn't mean to be a bitch, but it was a horrible thing to have done to me.

Second delivery went like clockwork. Midwife was wonderful, practical, kind and caring. Couldn't have wished for more.

Third delivery I was desperate for some company and if my emotional needs had been met I might have been brave enough to tell her about my domestic abuse situation.

Yep - as another pp has already said, don't forget about people in side rooms. Happened to me too, asked for medication, and had to wait hours.

I had a fairly long delivery in hospital and went through a good few shift changes of midwives. The day after DD was born one of the first midwives came to see me to meet her and ask how it had gone. That was really lovely and made me feel like a person, not a number. She also told me she had me down as an eventual EMCS but had thought better not mention that. She was right on both counts.

I think just listening to your patients (really listening) will make all the difference. You will be in a unique position of meeting so many different people at each end of every spectrum you can think of, at probably what is the most extreme time emotionally for them, so enjoy learning about their different lives, things like their hopes for their child and their fears. Learn to recognise the subtle signs people show when they might need things like extra support, practically, medically or emotionally, or when things aren't quite right (e.g. in cases of domestic violence). So in short, learn to listen first and you'll be an awesome midwife

Of my 4 children all the midwives that delivered them have been unremarkable. Two I don't event remember.

The latest was pretty awful to be fair told me I was no where near pushing when the baby was on its way out of my body and she refused to examine me. Baby shot out minutes later.

Having had two very fast labours I've had my share of midwives thinking I'm being overly dramatic and not in as much pain as they have wrongly assumed I was only in early stages as I dilate very very fast.

During my 4th labour I was terrified as I needed to push and no one was listening and that made me feel very frightened. No one would help me.

The best midwife I had was the one who delivered a baby I lost mid pregnancy. She was so kind and so gentle . I will never forget her for as long as I live.

Community midwives have all been ok just very busy. I never built any kind of relationship up with any of these people like you see on the tv, one born etc.

Beat of luck.

Always remember to be 'with woman'. Even if you may not personally agree with her informed choices, you are her advocate and it is HER path.

The further into training and work some mws go, the further away they come from the heart of the profession. Keep this your focus and you'll be an excellent mw.

(I left in 3rd year as couldn't cope and had no support, so make sure you have tonnes of support at home)

My biggest wish about the care I received in hospital was that the midwives had more understanding of mental health problems. I had quite serious anxiety during my pregnancy. I was lucky to get amazing care during my pregnancy (stuff like extra check ups, counselling and other bits) but when I was in labour and on the post-natal ward most of the midwives seemed really dismissive of my anxiety. For instance making comments like "everyone's a bit scared of labour" which seemed to me to downplay quite how much I was struggling with anxiety at the time.

So, I would say learning about mental health problems and how they affect women during pregnancy and labour is really important. I'm sure that's covered in your course, but just thought I'd mention it as something that was really important to me and which I wish had been different.