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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want everyone's home grown fruit & veg...

92 replies

OnlyTeaForMe · 26/08/2017 16:43

Yes, I know that I probably am BU and am lucky really, but please can I have a teeny rant first...

We have a fair few friends and neighbour's and some of DHs work colleagues who are amateur gardeners with veg plots and allotments. We also grow a few things ourselves - green beans, blueberries, apples etc.
I think this year has been a good year for produce so everyone seems to have more than they need, so they are offloading it all on us!!

DH went to see his parents and came back with huge tubs of blackberries and blueberries. He went to see a mate and came bag with a bagful of courgettes, marrows & green beans. We came back from shopping today and the neighbour has left a massive Primark bag of apples on our doorstep.
Thing is, it's always me that has to deal with them - washing, chopping, freezing and finding recipes to use them up in. DH just says 'hey, XYZ kindly gave us these' and dumps them in the utility room. Angry
I spent half a day peeling and freezing/ storing our own apples this week, I really don't want or need any more, so I asked DH to take them back and says thanks, but we have loads, but he said that would rude and refused.
Now I'm having to ring round my friends to see if anyone wants them, but they all have loads of their own too.... grrr!

OP posts:
SapphireStrange · 26/08/2017 17:40

Well, I think you're being a bit miserable, TBH. It's a lovely thing to receive. You can chop and freeze it all.

BUT, bigger principle, why does your DH get away with dumping them on you? Is he one of those poor stricken men who, despite being otherwise functioning adults, cannot fathom food prep and cooking?

KingsHeathen · 26/08/2017 17:41

I'd love fresh fruit if anyone's in Bham. Children eat so much, and I am feeling v poor after they've been off all summer. A freezer full of apple sauce and blackberry crumble would be amazing Envy

Ceto · 26/08/2017 17:46

Where are you? If you're anywhere near me, I'll happily take them off you.

Ttbb · 26/08/2017 17:50

Just give them to a good bank or a homeless shelter or something.

NotTheDuchessOfCambridge · 26/08/2017 17:51

I'm so jealous! I would love all these! Send them my way please!

theredjellybean · 26/08/2017 17:53

i do not think you abu at all....this happens to me , my DM and DF are prodiguous producers of veg and fruit and biring round loads..lovely but i work 6 days a week, just me and DP most of the time and i just do not have the time to deal with it all...and then DM gets arsey with me about it and said today 'well if you don't want the tomatoes you shouldnt have asked for them '...errr..mum i didnt.

She also does this when we ask for of the DC ask for a jar of her jam or chutney...just one jar please..and i get literally 10..i have a very small and poorly designed kitchen that she well knows. she comes round and my heart sinks cus i know she will have a huff if i say i cannto take all that...

bigbluebus · 26/08/2017 17:55

I love it when people give us their surplus. We don't grow any of our own lazy buggers that we are

We have a neighbour down the street who bring us surplus from time to time - although in managable amounts. He recently brought us some plums and we mentioned we were going on holiday a few days later but DS was staying at home. Whilst we were away we contacted DS and asked if there was "anything to report". He said that fruit/veg neighbour had turned up at the front door with a tray full of freshly baked meat and veg pasties. DS was in his element.

Viviennemary · 26/08/2017 17:59

I suppose they mean well. You might be unreasonable but who could be bothered with all this messing about with veg and jam making. Somebody brought me rhubarb once. Horrible bitter stuff. Reminds me of school dinners.

pinkdelight · 26/08/2017 18:02

I walked past a house the other day that had a box on the wall with their excess produce and a sign saying that people could help themselves. So that's one option. But the back-up is to absolutely not deal with it yourself. Your DH brings it home, it's his problem to sort. 100%!

Jaxhog · 26/08/2017 18:03

jellybean - you turn down free homemade jam and chutney?? Send it my way!

quercuscircus · 26/08/2017 18:07

I love marrows too! I love growing veg but no longer have a garden or allotment and really miss it.

It makes me sad to hear that all this extra food is being wasted or composted :( leave the surplus on a wall for people to take or talk to a local church about donating. So many people would be ecstatic to take the veggies off your hands.

theredjellybean · 26/08/2017 18:09

jaxhog...no do not turn it down but i cannot store jars and jars of the stuff......and my DM knows this...she is passive aggressive about me working and comes round with way too much stuff and then huffily starts opening cupboards saying ' oooh look at this, needs a good tidy up doesn't'....and then says to my DC and DSC ' i guess jellybean is just tooo busy at her job to sort this out no wonder you don't have jars of jam...'

WhooooAmI24601 · 26/08/2017 18:11

YAB a little U; people don't do it to punish you. If you chop the marrow into 4/5cm rings and scrape out the seeds, cover them in colognaise sauce and grate some cheddar and mozzarella on the top and cook for 40 minutes it's genuinely lovely to eat. Even the youngest DC who shouts "not bloody marrow" will eat it like that.

tickyandtackyandjackythebacky · 26/08/2017 18:13

My dparents do this. One year it was turnip Hmm. Bags of it went in the freezer and made everything else smell like turnip, including my ice pack that I use for migraines Envy. I'm much happier when it's bags of apple.

Be thankful that it's not turnip op.

SpaghettiAndMeatballs · 26/08/2017 18:18

Wine.

A few years ago there was a huge glut of blackberries over the road from us, and we made about 4 dozen bottles of the most delicious wine. Then another year we made apple wine - taste was OK, not brilliant, but it must have been strong because after a glass and a half you realised your legs weren't quite as stable as they should be.

Plum wine wasn't so great, but fine in cooking.

Tried some crazy thing where you cut the top off a marrow and fermented it in inside the marrow - which was interesting and a talking point, but probably not something to do every year.

The beans and stuff I can't help with... we always get bags of the things too, and there's only so many you can eat.

DamnDeDoubtanceIsSpartacus · 26/08/2017 18:22

My lovely neighbour hangs stuff on our door, I LOVE it! He leaves all sorts and it's a great challenge to use it all. Marrow and ginger jam is delicious, excess veg can be pickled or made into chutneys. Courgettes can be baked into tarts or cakes.

QuimReaper · 26/08/2017 18:23

I absolutely understand OP!

I am Head Chef in our house - entirely by choice I add, I love cooking and DH is hopeless at it and a very grateful audience so it works really well for us, BUT

A few years ago a friend of ours was expounding the virtues of those veg boxes you can have delivered. DH said "ooh, maybe we should do that?" and I explained that whilst it did sound great, I was worried about suddenly having veg which I'd have to work around, rather than veg working for my meal plan, if you see what I mean. Like, if we suddenly had a huge butternut squash I'd have to change our whole meal plan to work with it. DH said "oh, but that might be fun for you." Hmm

Now MIL has very kindly "done" our garden for us, she's done an incredible job and we're so so lucky, but she's planted all sorts of things like red cabbages and runner beans which I hardly ever use in my cooking, and now I feel like I'm going to be under constant pressure to use them forever more. It's a lovely idea in principle, but in practice I'd rather just choose what veg I need rather than kowtowing to whatever is sprouting out of the bloody garden!

honeyroar · 26/08/2017 18:24

I'm very jealous. We don't grow or get given anything!

The honesty box thing may be good. We do that with our excess hen eggs.

PickingOakum · 26/08/2017 18:27

I use marrows instead of aubergines in a moussaka. You can also use them as an extra layer in a lasagne.

Bettyspants · 26/08/2017 18:27

Anyone loving marrows- what the hell do you do with the fuckers? Stuffing I haven't got time for but there's 6 of them staring at me now filling me with guilt for thinking about the compost bin

Original poster
OnlyTeaForMe · 26/08/2017 18:33

I've checked our local food bank and they won't take anything perishable unfortunately.
I can't put the apples in a box on the wall because a) we live in a cul de sac and nobody passes 😂 And b) we live opposite the neighbour who left them for us!
I do think people do it to pass on the 'problem' of excess though. Nobody wants to throw good food away, so by giving them to us they are passing on the guilt and the hassle of making sure they don't go to waste.
It should be them listing them on Freegle not me!

I agree this is a problem between me & DH as much as anyone though!

OP posts:
BMW6 · 26/08/2017 18:40

Do you have a church or Sikh temple you could donate to? They often cook for the needy.
Or Salvation Army kitchens?

SleepFreeZone · 26/08/2017 18:42

It's not a bad problem to have but I take your point (btw I have a glut of apples and pears currently rotting on my fruit trees) 😬😬

IDoDaChaCha · 26/08/2017 18:51

Give it away on olioex.com food sharing app. Your neighbourhood will love you.

mydogisthebest · 26/08/2017 18:53

I wish I was being given all that fruit and veg and I certainly would not be moaning about it.

Spend a bit of time preparing and then freeze it in bags or containers. You will then have enough to last through the winter.

I pick loads and loads of blackberries and apples and freeze most of them. All ready then to make crumbles and pies.

Most veg I don't even blanch and it is always fine. I love runner beans and they freeze well. Marrow doesn't freeze so well but you can cook stuffed marrow or caramelised marrow which is lovely

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