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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think forgetting like this isn't normal?

22 replies

MakeSureYouAddCheese · 26/08/2017 15:54

My mum is deaf, one ear worse than the other, but she has hearing aids for both ears. She also has to wear glasses due to short sightedness. My mum is 55 (I'm 25) and has had the glasses and aids since I was a toddler.

While out shopping I realised I'd been repeating myself to my mum 3-4 times. So i asked if she was wearing her hearing aids. She said she wasn't because she keeps "forgetting" to wear them, when I asked what she meant she says she forgets in the mornings when she gets up to put them in.

I asked my mum what other things she's forgotten, and she said just normal things like bread when she goes the shop or forgetting to put petrol in her car even when she knows she needs it explains why she keeps breaking down then doesn't it?. And once, just once, she forgot to pick my DD (then 18m) up from Nursery.

She told me she thinks forgetting things is normal at her age. I'm not overly worried as I know one of the effects of a medical condition she has can cause forgetfulness, so she'll likely need her medication altered (I know she's been taking that as my brother lives with her and has the same condition so he takes his tablet with my mum to make sure she takes it - she hates taking tablets so will avoid it if she can) she just needs to go to the doctors to get the Dr to adjust the dosage.

But I said I would MN if forgetfulness is normal at age and should I just back off? Or do I need to make her go to the doctors to have her medication altered?

OP posts:
lizzieoak · 26/08/2017 15:57

She's 55, not 85. I'm almost 55 and though stressed and sleep-deprived I don't forget stuff anymore than 10 years ago.

gamerwidow · 26/08/2017 15:58

Go to the GP. Yes older people can get more forgetful but she shouldn't be forgetting a hearing aid she's been wearing for 20 years.

Pemba · 26/08/2017 16:00

Well I just a couple of years younger than your mum, and whilst I occasionally do the thing where you go to fetch something and end up saying to yourself 'what did I come in this room for?' etc (think I've done this most of my life - it's when you're thinking of something else and get distracted), I wouldn't forget important stuff especially picking up a DC. 55 is not old! So I'd say, no, not normal. Get her to see the doctor.

Mysteriouscurle · 26/08/2017 16:02

55 isnt old. I would agree with visit to gp if she is agreeable

StillDrivingMeBonkers · 26/08/2017 16:03

Dementia can start in your 30's, mid fifties is more common than you think.

Ttbb · 26/08/2017 16:04

It is most definitely not normal at that age.

Original poster
MakeSureYouAddCheese · 26/08/2017 16:07

Still I'm not massively concerned it's anything more than because of her medical condition, my brother has the same condition and he can be horrendously forgetful when his medication needs altering.

OP posts:
LinkPlease · 26/08/2017 16:12

The menopause can cause memory problems (as I'm finding out!)

Icequeen01 · 26/08/2017 16:12

I'm 56 and don't forget things like that. I will say that I am in the middle of the menopause and sometimes I do feel by brain is a bit foggy and find it harder to concentrate but have definitely never forgotten to fill up my car with petrol. I don't wear a hearing aid but I am very reliant on my glasses now as I can't read a flipping thing without them and I never forget to take them with me.

May be encourage her to have a check-up with her GP?

barcodescanner · 26/08/2017 16:16

I am 50 and have been forgetting things for the last ten months or so. I forget things as soon as i've thought of them Mine is because i have vitamin B12 deficiency and gets worse again when i'm due an injection. Does she have any other symptoms?

onalongsabbatical · 26/08/2017 16:18

No, not normal. I'm 62 and would never forget to buy bread or pick up a child, and I always have my glasses with me.

x2boys · 26/08/2017 16:20

Well Dementia can start at any age and whilst 55 would still be considered early onset and not very common (I was a mental health nurse in dementia care) I have nursed several people in their 50,s with dementia and younger but no it's not normal I would go to the GP.

Original poster
MakeSureYouAddCheese · 26/08/2017 16:26

barcode b12 deficiency was actually what I was thinking, she has hypothyroidism and apparently the two go hand in hand so she at time will be deficient in b12 and at other times she'll be fine. My brother also has hypothyroidism and has had a b12 deficiency in the past

OP posts:
BackforGood · 26/08/2017 16:35

I'm only a bit younger than your Mum and I forget things quite a lot.
Yes, I'd easily forget something I wanted from the shop if I didn't go round with a list. Yes I forget where I've put my glasses. Yes I forget things my dc have told me. That said I've never had a good memory, and have always had to counteract that by being very organised (in terms of keeping lists and diaries and so forth).

However, I wouldn't forget to put hearing aids in. If she's been wearing them for 20 years or more, it would just be automatic when you get up.

Rachie1986 · 26/08/2017 16:35

Def GP, even just for reassurance or to discuss the meds she's on.

My mum is 59. She's had early onset dementia diagnosed for over 4yrs now. So it's worth checking.

OstentatiousWanking · 26/08/2017 16:37

I'm 49 and menopausal. My memory is shite since I was peri menopausal.
It very frustrating.

puch · 26/08/2017 16:40

i think I would get her to go to the doctors for a check. I am 50 and wear hearing aids. my memory can be pretty bad but I have never forgotton my hearing aids as I cannot hear without them so surely your mum would notice that she cannot hear birds or cars etc . Forgetting bread is one thing but hearing aids no. Her levels may be low again so prob need another blood test

gingerbeerd · 26/08/2017 16:41

55 does seem a bit young but I'm certainly no professional - I think a check-in with the GP would be worthwhile

barcodescanner · 26/08/2017 16:41

Agree with going to the doctors. Yes b12 and thyroid can be linked. I would get her levels checked and then join the support group on fb, post her blood results on there and they will advise. I had to fight for injections as have many people and without that group i wouldn't have had the knowledge to state my case.

x2boys · 26/08/2017 16:42

They could do a mini mental stste examination at the Drs it's fairly quick assessment and would give a good indication if there were any concerns.

RubyReins · 26/08/2017 17:04

Second all those who suggest a discussion with the GP. My mum was like this and now, aged 64, has advanced alzheimer's disease having been formally diagnosed aged 58. Her behaviour was a bit odd and her memory had gaps but it wasn't really taken seriously until a few of her friends and I staged an intervention of sorts and insisted dad take her to the doctor and stop dismissing it as "the change" as they prudishly called it, or "empty nest syndrome" 9 years after the youngest had left home. Definitely worth a memory test and a conversation with a doctor. Hope you get some reassurance soon.

fleshmarketclose · 26/08/2017 17:30

I wonder if she is also feeling disorientated with her poor sight and hearing. I have awful eyesight which has worsened rapidly as I approach fifty. I can't function without my specs at all but when I need new ones, often only nine months after the previous pair, I feel like I'm concentrating so hard on managing the poor eyesight that I don't pay attention elsewhere and become forgetful.
Perhaps an eyesight and hearing check are also needed to make sure that her specs and hearing aids are doing the job.

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