to expect my boys to behave better

[deliverdaniel]

I have two DS's age 6 and 3 who will turn 7 and 4 next month. I am pg with DS3. They go back to school/ nursery next week. I am really struggling with their behaviour.

They are both lovely in many ways- bright, funny, lively, loving etc etc. But the two of them together with no school etc are just exhausting and I'm wondering if their behaviour is normal. They are just so wild. The only way they play together is by wild running around and shouting and making a HUGE mess. They fight explosively many times a day and DS 2 will end up hitting DS1 or smashing his lego or similar. DS2 is a real livewire and he winds DS1 up (usually DS1 on his own is much calmer) the two of them just run around and scream. Then they whine, demand my attention constantly, can't get on with anything on their own without constant monitoring and attention from me.

I praise good behaviour, give consequences for bad but there is just so much bad that it feels like they are constantly in trouble and that is not how I want to be with them. I try to give them lots of exercise but they bitterly complain about going to the park. Tbh it actually doesn't seem to make much difference to their behaviour whether they have had a chance to run around outside or not. I can run them like crazy all morning and they are still just as wild when we get home.

They can be very sweet and can enjoy drawing/ reading books/ lego etc but can't seem to do it without constant supervision. I feel as though at their ages they should be able to play reasonably harmoniously together without me for stretches of time and although I obviously don't expect them to be perfect, I feel as though they should be this naughty. Friends' kids of similar ages seem so much calmer and able to self entertain. Are my expectations unreasonably high? I can't believe we are going to add another one into the mix soon....

I have boys of a similar age and am also pregnant. I agree they need a lot of exercise. Not just running around but actual activities. Obstacle challenges in the garden or martial arts/ dancing on YouTube if you have to be inside. It also helps to make sure you get into the habit of getting them
To tidy up after themselves. That way you get a chance of a sit down and it's not too tiring. Try to make them as independent as possible. Dress themselves, lay the table, clear up etc. It's hard at first but well worth it. Reward charts are your friend. Also brothers are naturally competitive so use that to your advantage. Lastly don't be worried to use iPad breaks to recharge your batteries. And get plenty of sleep!! I hear boys get easier as they get older.

Girl nearly 6 - but is very active and tomboyish.
Boy almost 3
And mother who's hair is going whiter by the day.
It's bloody hard work.
I tell myself every day that things can only get better.

A week on Tuesday there will be celebrations when my eldest goes back to school

sorry- got distracted and left the thread. thanks so much for all these lovely supportive replies- I thought that I would get a beating for being a bad mother/ not disciplining my kids enough.

So good to know that I am not alone and that this will (hopefully) pass. Thanks also for hte good suggestions. Have downloaded How to Talk .... so hopefullyt hat will have some good suggestions. Ass pps have suggested, they are so much easier when they are on their own. This mornign seems to have got off to a better start, so fingers crossed! Roll on Tuesday