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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think kicking her teacher was understandable?

43 replies

loonyloo · 25/08/2017 19:22

I met a friend for lunch earlier and she told me a story from her schooldays. Apparently she was really cheeky and used to get into trouble quite a lot. She told me that one time she kicked her PE teacher in the leg - she was 12 or 13, wearing a hockey skirt and he bent down in front of her. She thought he was trying to look up her skirt and instinctively kicked him in the leg. Turns out he was bending down to tie her shoelace for her.

She told me this in a sort of "OMG can't believe I did that" way. Apparently her classmates had the same reaction, and the teacher was furious with her, called her a stupid girl and she apologised to him.

IABU to think that, though obviously violence isn't acceptable, it was understandable in this case? If it were my DD, I wouldn't be comfortable with her teacher doing that! It's not like she wasn't old enough to tie her own laces! Apparently the teacher never reported it to the head so it didn't go any further. I kind of think this was because he might have thought he would get into more trouble than her! Hmm

OP posts:
GogoGobo · 25/08/2017 19:24

YABU!

ImperialBlether · 25/08/2017 19:26

Hmm a teacher tying up shoelaces? It wouldn't have happened in my school - we would have got reminded or yelled at to do it, depending on the teacher and her mood. Strange he didn't report it, isn't it?

StillDrivingMeBonkers · 25/08/2017 19:27

And you OP are the reason teachers leave the profession in droves. Assault, accusations of 'perving' etc etc. If you think that's Ok then I pity your childrens teachers.

Do you want to put some context into your story though - met a friend, when she was 12 or 13 ..... was this 5 years ago? 15? 25? 50?

chips4teaplease · 25/08/2017 19:31

'Fasten her shoelace' my arse. That's a well-known ploy. Of course the teacher didn't report it - the head would have believed the girl (and covered it up).

My maths teacher was a sleazy git. He was an old bloke and I was fourteen. One time, he called me out to the front of the class to demonstrate some rubbish maths on the board. He then decided to move me from A to B by taking hold of my 22" waist. When he had me where he wanted (standing in front of him - to hide his erection, perhaps) he did not let go of my waist but talked to the class over my shoulder, pressing against my back. I dug my nails into his right hand, hard, and for a long time. He let me go back to my seat, didn't complain (of course) but most importantly, didn't do it again.

Your friend was right to kick. If she sees him again she might want to give him another kick, just to be sure.

Pengggwn · 25/08/2017 19:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PoorYorick · 25/08/2017 19:43

Why on Earth would she assume he was looking up her skirt?

Because open sexual harassment and assault in public places is par for the course for women, and it's often worse for teenagers.

I don't think we have enough information to know what was happening here, but I wouldn't blame any woman for assuming the worst when it happens so regularly.

DesignedForLife · 25/08/2017 19:43

What teacher ties a 12 year olds shoelaces???

ittakes2 · 25/08/2017 19:43

Given her age he sounds like a sleazy git.

Alanna1 · 25/08/2017 19:44

Hmmm. I'm also doubtful a teacher ties the shoelaces of a 12 year old. I also reckon an instinctive reaction counts for a lot. I also think it's surprising, if innocent, it didn't go further, but maybe it's all innocent and he learnt a lesson too. Bet he didn't kneel in front of her hockey skirt again.

Original poster
loonyloo · 25/08/2017 19:46

It would have been mid-90s, I reckon StillDrivingMeBonkers

Why on Earth would she assume he was looking up her skirt?
I don't know, Pengggwn, I didn't think to ask her to be honest.

OP posts:
Seeingadistance · 25/08/2017 19:46

YANBU.

FaithAgain · 25/08/2017 19:46

If her shoe laces needed tying, he should have said 'You need to tie your shoelaces'. There must have been something in his demeanour that made her instinctively react like that. The fact that he didn't take it any further actually makes me more suspicious.

EyesUnderARock · 25/08/2017 19:47

What decade did this happen in? Because the behaviour of the teacher sounds 70s80s if it was actually pervy, but teenagers not being able to tie their own laces is a later thing.

Widdsters · 25/08/2017 19:47

Hahahahaha I love that she kicked him. Keep this friend!

Original poster
loonyloo · 25/08/2017 19:49

I'm fairly sure she could tie her own laces EyesUnderARock!!! It would've been mid-90s.

OP posts:
NetballHoop · 25/08/2017 19:49

DesignedForLife My 14 year old DS plays in a football team and the coach still has to tie the laces for a few of the players.

Nomoreboomandbust · 25/08/2017 19:50

He was perving. What adult ties laces for a 12 year old

EyesUnderARock · 25/08/2017 19:52

Deny it all you like, there are a lot of teachers and coaches tying laces. A random, slack bundle of knots and loops is not tying your own laces.

MargaretTwatyer · 25/08/2017 19:54

I think that's dodgy as fuck. In the 90s a teacher in my school always used to take girls for a detention at a landing at the top of some stairs. He would take them to the bottom of the stairs then send them up and look up their skirts. A lot of girls were told they were being silly and imagining things then too. He was eventually arrested and a quantity of upskirt and child porn of the photographic type you used to get through the post was found and he was convicted and barred from teaching. I think she was right to follow her instincts.

StillDrivingMeBonkers · 25/08/2017 19:56

My 14 year old DS plays in a football team and the coach still has to tie the laces for a few of the players.

I can believe it - at the prom I had to cut up steak because some of them had never had food delivered in a form that wasn't bite size or tearable with a fork. I kid you not.

EyesUnderARock · 25/08/2017 19:58

Not denying the opportunity that it offers to leering adults.

PurpleMinionMummy · 25/08/2017 19:59

I ask/offer before tying laces. Who bends down and just starts tying a 12 yo laces? I wouldn't even do that with a 4 yo.

BabychamSocialist · 25/08/2017 19:59

Shudder! It definitely reminds me of 1970s pervy P.E. teachers. Was it an older member of staff from that era?

mamalovesmojitos · 25/08/2017 19:59

He sounds completely dodgy. Her instincts were probably right.

ForalltheSaints · 25/08/2017 19:59

I think the teacher should have asked before bending down 'I think your shoelaces need tying up', which of course can be done by a leg being lifted onto a chair. I also find it strange that a male teacher would have taken PE lessons for girls. Seems perving to me.