What do you do?

[Hotpinkangel19]

When someone dies and everything is down to you to sort out? I'm worried I do everything wrong!

Tell us what's happened OP? Who has died and when?

Have you got a solicitor? They should be able to advise you on the processes that need followed. Sorry for your loss .

(Hugs)

You call the undertaker and let them sort it all out.

They are fab and will not only tell you everything that needs doing but will do as much or as little as you like.

Call DWP and get a Tell Everyone form and that takes care of any benefits, pensions, tax etc. All you need is the persons NI number

There are useful guides online to help you to remember all you need to do.

This happened to me recently when my mum died suddenly, OP.

The first thing you do is tell yourself that you are doing the very best you can in a sad situation and whatever choices you make will be the right ones. 💐

On a more practical note, undertakers, registering the death. Undertakers will guide you as to funeral services, etc.

Will there be a post mortem?

My Dad. 11 weeks after my mum. I'm heartbroken. There's his house, bank accounts, bills etc. There's everything. I can't breathe. I'm 20 weeks pregnant and I need them.

I think I remember you from the Bereavement board, Hotpink. Sorry you are going through this.

On a practical note, do you have a death certificate for your dad yet?

You can still put a stop on the bank accounts w/o a death cert. I did this with my mum.

Do you have a partner who can help?

There is a very good book called "What to do when someone dies", I think it's produced by CAB, but it's available from amazon. This takes you through everything. Don't panic, you get through the things that need to be done, and everybody will be really helpful. Sorry for your loss.

My father in law died a couple of weeks ago and my dp and I had to come back early from holiday to help his mum sort things out. We'd never had to do this before so know just what you're going through.

You can google and find some helpful step by step guides that are really useful. The main things for us to know were:

get a death certificate from the doctor

register the death within 5 days. If you don't know where to go then google - it might be your local town hall, but sometimes it's a different set of offices. Get multiple copies of the certificates as they'll be needed and are cheaper to buy at the time.

phone an undertaker and make an appointment for them to come to the house. They'll help you to plan the funeral.

You are likely to need to contact:
town hall (council tax)
tax and pensions
utility companies
bank and/or building society
life insurance
land registry (to transfer ownership of the deceased person's house)
Some of these will need a copy of the death certificate (photocopies not usually acceptable). Some will just want the number.

Is there a will?
You might need to apply for probate, but that depends on how much is left and how complicated the will is. For us it was simple as dp's dad owned the house jointly so it automatically went to dp's mum and dp's dad didn't have any other assets. That meant we didn't need probate or a solicitor. You can google online to find the probate form and that will tell you if you need to apply.

You may be entitled to claim towards funeral costs. Again, this is something you can check online.

Hope this helps

I'm sorry for your loss

Funeral directors do this for a living, they can guide you through the process. Don't worry about asking what you might think is a stupid question, they really won't mind and it probably isn't stupid anyway. Most people have very limited experience of these situations thankfully, so they won't expect you to know what you're doing, that's their job.

Regarding dealing with companies the deceased had dealings with, give them a call and ask what they need you to do. They will probably all have slightly different requirements so take notes (address for correspondence, who needs to see original death certificate, who will accept copies, etc etc). Again, don't be afraid of asking questions.

Just read your update which was posted while I was typing. I'm so sorry for your loss. That's really tough. I hope you've got somebody who can support you.

I have just seen your update. I am so sorry. My parents died close together too, you have my deepest sympathy.

No practical help to offer but my condolences

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm not really experienced in this but maybe sit down with a warm drink and get a notebook and pen to try and make a list. Then when you ring or contact each place write down on a new page in a notebook what they tell you

Places I can think of
Undertaker
Council for council tax etc
Utility companies
If you don't live near the house maybe get post redirect to you to make it easier?
Dwp if he was in receipt of state pension
Bank. Check to see which bank he was with and call them
Same with any credit card companies
Find his address book in case you need to ring friends who's numbers you don't know off top of your head
Any other pension company if he received another pension?
Was there a will? That may help with what his wishes were regarding funeral or anything else

Can anyone come and be with you? Just having someone there while you try and start sorting things will help

Yes, as others have said, the undertaker will tell you everything you need to do in legal terms. For practical stuff, have you got family or friends who will help out? Just having someone to hold your hand while you do all the traipsing around is a good idea too.

You poor thing, I'm so sorry for your loss. If you tell us what stage you're at we might be able to help more. Have you registered death? Chosen funeral director etc? Xx

All the utility companies have a bereavement team as do the banks so ask to be put through to them. They will do everything necessary
Funeral director will be a huge help
DWP will notify all relevant departments from one phone call re pensions etc
It's not as scary as you think. Take a deep breath
So sorry for your loss and sending hugs. My own Dad died in November so I know where you're at

So sorry to hear this.

www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk/en/articles/what-to-do-when-someone-dies

The "tell us once" thing should be helpful.

From an emotional point of view do you have friends who can hand hold while this is going on? Are you an only child?

Oh I am so sorry for your loss, I am currently going through the same my perfect Mum died on the 12th July and I'm heavily pregnant, no other family involved apart from my elderly grandad. I've done quite a lot of the practical stuff but there's still so much more to do.
I know it feels so overwhelming, but step by step it will fall into place.

Where are you up to so far? List of the first things that need to be done, in order.

Book an appointment to register her death, they will give you a code for the tell us once service.
Funeral directors
Plan the wake
Let people know
Has she got a will?

Then there's bills to call,
Tv licence
Mortgage/rental people
Life insurance
Any direct debits coming out etc

All the practical stuff will help you through and it'll feel like you are doing it for someone else.
Once again, I know this is so hard, I lost my mum 3 years after my dad dying and I thought that was too close let alone for you to lose both parents so close together xxx

No advice but hugs. So sorry for your loss

Sorry he, not she...has he got a will.

A couple of posters have referred to the "tell us once" service. It sounds really good, but isn't available in all parts of the country (It isn't where we are) so you'll need to google to check if you can use it).

register the death within 5 days

You can only register the death if a post mortem is not required. If it was unexpected, Dr will confirm the death but they won't let you register it until the Coroner releases the body back and is satisfied with cause of death.