To drink yourself to death ....

[Jad234]

My cousin had always liked a drink from a early age (17) he would drink a lot.
Wine,spirits etc etc
Age 33 he was diagnosed with liver disease and he was told to never drink again or next time he would be leaving the hospital in a box.
He had a varcies bleed and was given beta blockers and a blood transfusion (apparently the liver problems caused the bleed)
He stopped drinking for 8 months,the yellowing of his skin went away a bit and he felt good.
He started drinking again ...for 1 year he was out most nights.
Boxing Day this year we get a phone call he has died aged 35.
He had a bleed from a varcies and bled to death.
Utterly heartbroken ..
His mum had never left the house for 3 years,they told us she had problems with her legs.
Went in hospital in May and she died.
Then we were told she had died from liver disease too (she drank 3 bottles of wine a night plus spirits)
Now my other cousin (46) has also being diagnosed with liver disease due to alcohol abuse and is having fits with epilepsy.
I'm scared the same will happen to him,he refused counselling.
He is depressed over death of his brother and mum.
Why are they doing this to themselves ..
Waste of a life.

Just a quick reminder that alcoholics aren't alcholics because they drink spirits, alcoholics drink alcohol

I lost a very dear friend a few months ago because of his alcohol addiction, and I was amazed at how many people commented afterwards how shocked they were "as I only ever saw him drinking beer".
That was usually said while sipping on their large glass of wine/pint of strong beer (3 units of alcohol each) while giving me sideways looks as I sipped on my scotch and soda (1 unit of alcohol).

Social drinking can escalate into alcoholism - regardless of what you drink.

I'm so sad for my friend's widow and children, and cross at him. Even though I know it's an addiction I'm angry that he couldn't beat it to stay alive for his children....

The aggression, the violent self pity, the denial, the justification and the false promises are worse than the physical state of them.

This will sound harsh, but you need to learn how to practice tough love. Get yourself to Al-Anon. 😔

My friend is dealing with the loss of her step children's mum due to alcoholism.

They suffered years of coming second to alcohol, her going missing for weeks at a time. Luckily their dad took custody of them and divorced her.

She was told the beginning of 2016 that one more drink would kill her. She cleaned her act up for a good 6 months. Then she went missing for a month and when she returned, battered and bruised and looking like a yellow skeleton, that was the beginning of the end.

It wasn't a quick death, in the end it took 6 months of pain and internal bleeding before she bled out on a relative's couch. The beginning of which was witnessed by her youngest.

She's been gone 6 months and the ripples keep going. Her mum is lost, her children although outwardly ok are struggling with anger issues.

Unfortunately she wasn't a very nice person, aside from her alcoholism, and its hard to find sympathy for her - but her children and mum deserve every ounce of sympathy they can get.

Hateful disease.

ACEs can be a key factor.

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/psychchoices.org/2017/05/04/addiction-doc-says-stop-chasing-the-drug-focus-on-aces-and-people-will-heal/amp/

So sorry OP. Any death is sad but 35 is so young.

It's so sad for the person who is slowing killing themselves and the family and friends who can do nothing but often try everything they can to help them stop

I know many people who think nothing of having three of four large glasses of wine in the evening or drink easily half the recommended units for a week on a Friday night and put it down to a need becuase they are stressed it's a slippery slope for many

And the sale of cheap alcohol/happy hours buy 2 shots get 3 is helping create more young people dependent on alcohol much tougher guidelines should be put in place which I seem to remember a few years ago happening but I can't see much change

I lost my mother to nearly 30 years of it. It started when I was in my early teens and she died when I was 41. Due to this I didnt really have a 'mother' as such, someone I could rely on, get close to etc. It affected me for years but I'd like to think I'm relatively at peace with it now.

She tried giving up a few times, came close to death a few times and in fact I ended up going NC with her for the last 2 years of her life as I'd just had enough of the constant worry, the broken promises and the disgusting behaviour.

I still loved her though but I decided to put myself, my husband and children first. It meant that I didnt see her for 2 years until the morning she died and that's something I had to live with every day (I'm crying writing this now). In fact when she died my father threw himself straight into another relationship and decided to go NC with me when I struggled with it - probably as a kind of punishment for me going NC with my mother - so all in all I lost both parents through it.

Its a fucker, messed up a whole generation of my family.

mil was lager too no spirits or anything.

the pain they leave behind,all the what ifs. Dp and i did everything we could,we tried to feed her, had her mental health assessed, tried to monitor the drinking,had carers come in 3 times a day, alcohol support charities come to the house, took her for days out, had social workers and even the police involved at points.

and even now we wonder if we could have done more but the reality is even if we did it would have been more years for us of all that worry, phonecalls in the middle of the night, chasing youths away, dreading chrismas incase she was on a bender, taking abuse. It's a vicious circle.

Part of the problem is that alcohol is freely available, and bloody everywhere - walk into my local Tesco, and the first thing you see is an aisle of booze on offer. It's hard for any addict to resist the pull of the substance they're enslaved to, but for an alcoholic, the temptation is constantly dangled in front of them. On TV, in magazines, on advertising, in popular culture - you can't get away from it.

Some 'value' lager - effectively tinned piss - is cheaper than a bottle of squash. It's appalling.

I'm in recovery from alcoholism. It's a battle. I hate it and it's a constant source of shame. Even though we don't keep a drop of booze at home, if I'm having a particularly bad day and can feel myself wobbling, I can't leave the house because there's a shop less than 5 minutes away with a large and cheap selection of alcohol. The pull of it is often stronger than I am, so I have to stay at home and wait for the urges to pass, just to stay sober. Temptation - and potential disaster if I cave - is everywhere. It's so hard.

Liz that's such a valid point regards spirits.

People think alcoholics are 'yellow skeletons' who can't function when in reality most alcoholics have jobs, manage kids and relationships. They can then lie to themselves that they are ok and are not alcoholics.

There's plenty of functioning alcoholics around.

Thefeelgoodfactor none of that was your fault love. You deserved better parents

beauty you should be very proud of yourself. Good for you keep strong

Nomore, thank you I didn't want to derail the thread by talking about my own struggle with alcoholism, but I appreciate your kind words very much!

Reading everyone's experiences here is so sad.
I don't think my cousin even realised what he was doing,or maybe he did but couldn't stop I don't know.
My aunty was in her 70s so had some life but my cousin,never married,no kids.
It breaks my heart.
All he wanted was alcohol.
He loved socialising and playing darts/pool/going to the football etc.
Well done "beauty" your doing really well,stay strong.

I'm so sorry to everyone who is daily with this and those who have lost loved ones.

Thank you Jad I'm so sorry that your relatives weren't able to stop before it killed them - some people never manage to stop, either they don't want to, or they truly don't believe they can. Death is the only thing that stops them drinking in the end.

I'm sorry for your losses. My dad was an alcoholic and drank himself to death. It was a long, painful drawn out experience, and I can pinpoint the moment he gave up. I've had my own issues with alcohol, and sometimes lapse, but I try hard now not to slip into bad habits and try to drink away my problems because I don't want to go the same way he did and put my children through what I went through.