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Original poster

For not covering up?

172 replies

Nelly1727 · 25/08/2017 07:16

Genuine question? At what age would you stop walking around naked in front of the children? We have a naked house, I'm not saying I sit and watch TV naked but my husband and I will happily Walk from the bedroom to the bathroom with no clothes on and think nothing of it. If I need to nip downstairs (and curtains are closed) I would think nothing of quickly running downstairs before putting clothes on. Kids will jump in bed with us in the morning etc. I have 3 boys 6,7 & 8. My friend was astonished we do this and think the boys are too old now and I should start covering up. What are your views? My eldest has started getting more private closing the door when in the bath etc, only changing in his room which we respect and make sure the younger ones also understand he wants privacy. Am I scarring my kids for life as my friend suggested by letting them see my husband and I in our birthday suits at this age?

OP posts:
Crumbs1 · 25/08/2017 19:21

Hah, all these 'covering up stories made me think of my daughter's boyfriend. He's happy to come for morning mugs of tea in our bed (with daughter and with pjs on). I was going out and called to daughter to come down as I needed to speak to her. Boyfriend asked if he could help and I explained that, no, it was women's stuff. ( tongue in cheek before I awaken the feminist rants). He then rather sweetly said I could tell him anything; he was a doctor and understood women's stuff. Bless. I decided to confide I had forgotten the beef mince for the bolognese and they'd have to use prawns with a touch of chilli to make a gamberini instead. Bizarrely, he acknowledged his shortcomings in the culinary department and said I did need to speak to my daughter.

What are we doing to children if we hide normal (and slightly abnormal) bodies. It's why there are 'difficult conversations about menstruation and sex. I have never been able to understand how children could miss seeing their mothers manage periods or know the physical differences between men and women. All this covering up in case of perceived embarrassment is the reason, clearly. It's not about the children being embarrassed it's about parents and others imposing embarrassment on them.

Moussemoose · 25/08/2017 21:22

Why are people so bothered about what other people think?

Do what makes you and your family happy and comfortable.

Jezzifishie · 25/08/2017 22:08

This has just reminded me of my uni housemate - she grew up in a naked household, I did not. She had her Mum staying over for graduation, I knocked on her bedroom door to say hi. Mum yelled 'come in!' but just as I went to open the door I heard housemate yell - Mum, you're naked!! Blush I didn't know what to do!

Lamaitresse · 26/08/2017 17:45

We are a naked household too - ds is 10 & dd is 3. Ds is perfectly happy being naked, and doesn't seem to need any privacy (quite happy sitting on the loo in front of us etc), whereas dd likes us to leave the room when she's on the toilet. Everyone's different, and we respect her obvious need for privacy at these moments.
I think it's really important for children to be at ease with their bodies, to feel proud of them, and not to be embarrassed or think they should hide away. They're going to have enough to contend with as they get older!
My two also see me going to the loo during af (I use st's) and just accept it as a normal part of life. It took a bit of getting over feeling uncomfortable answering questions about it, but my parents were not so open & I felt at a disadvantage as I got older as I didn't have a clue about anything!
If we see that the kids are uncomfortable with us being naked then obviously we'll respect that. Can't see it happening anytime soon though 😁

BabychamSocialist · 26/08/2017 17:49

I don't even like being naked out in the open in front of DP, let alone my kids. I don't think I'm a prude, just self-conscious about my appearance mainly. I never had an issue getting changed in front of the kids in the changing rooms at swimming or anything like that. I wouldn't want them talking to me in the shower or anything like that though.

Minaktinga · 26/08/2017 17:51

It's so important for children to see normal bodies and normal relationships to bodies. My DS is still little but growing up my parents weren't ashamed to be naked in front of us (getting changed or in the bath. They would never just walk around nude and neither would I really.) Whenl I moved out and the relationship changed, we were more reserved.

Mimisrevenge · 26/08/2017 17:52

2 dc boy 4 and girl 7. I tend to be more naked than dh. Kids seem ok with it. However I have a mother who still is semi naked at our house in France and it used to make me really uncomfortable in front of dh. It sort of does now but not so much.

I sleep naked dh pants only. Kids totally naked. So what , whatever makes you comfy . It does make me laught that they put on their pjs to come down stairs watch television for 15 mins and then get washed and dressed! Their pjs are like brand new

As soon as I see my kids uncomfortable with it then I'll cover up.

Craigie · 26/08/2017 17:56

My boys are 11 & 9. We never lock the bathroom door, so if they need a pee when I'm in the shower, they just come in. They're not bothered, and as long as it doesn't bother then, it doesn't bother me. Neither of them would want to come near me when I was naked, fair enough. I'm leaving it up to them to decide when they don't want to see that any more.

ILoveMillhousesDad · 26/08/2017 18:01

Hah, all these 'covering up stories made me think of my daughter's boyfriend. He's happy to come for morning mugs of tea in our bed (with daughter and with pjs on). I was going out and called to daughter to come down as I needed to speak to her. Boyfriend asked if he could help and I explained that, no, it was women's stuff. ( tongue in cheek before I awaken the feminist rants). He then rather sweetly said I could tell him anything; he was a doctor and understood women's stuff. Bless. I decided to confide I had forgotten the beef mince for the bolognese and they'd have to use prawns with a touch of chilli to make a gamberini instead. Bizarrely, he acknowledged his shortcomings in the culinary department and said I did need to speak to my daughter.

Cool story bro

icyblueeyes · 26/08/2017 18:02

I never get the big thing about nudity that some folks have. It's like "look at me, I'm just so unreserved" . It takes two seconds to shove a t shirt or dressing gown on.

Or a pair of pants.
These parents are trying to prove a point and end up embarrassing their children in the process.

WhamBarsArentAsFizzyAsTheyWere · 26/08/2017 18:06

My 15yo ds will regularly come and chat to me while I'm in the bath.

It doesn't bother me at all.

I would never walk in on him and chat though as that would bother him.

In a world where everything is airbrushed and photoshopped and there are groomed and perfect people everywhere I think it's good that he knows that women have flabby bits and scars and stretch marks and more flabby bits

BlueberryPuffin · 26/08/2017 18:15

I never get the big thing about nudity that some folks have. It's like "look at me, I'm just so unreserved" . It takes two seconds to shove a t shirt or dressing gown on

It's understandable that somebody who believes they should cover up would have that perspective. But obviously if somebody has no issue with nudity, then why would they put on a pair of pants, regardless of how much time it takes?

It's like me saying you should cover your head before your kids see you in the morning - after all, it only takes 2 seconds to put a hat on! But why would you?? You have no problem with your kids seeing your hair so it wouldn't even occur to you to put a hat on. Well, that's how I feel about pants when it comes to my OH and young kids. I'm honestly not trying to prove anything.

DJBaggySmalls · 26/08/2017 18:22

Half of us are happy nekkid and the other half are uncomfortable with it, so we respect their feelings when they are in. I dont think its learned, which is interesting. Some people just want more privacy,

icyblueeyes · 26/08/2017 18:28

Well, that's how I feel about pants when it comes to my OH and young kids. I'm honestly not trying to prove anything.

I don't think this thread is really about being naked in front of young children.
I think we all agree that's it's natural to be naked in front your children before they hit puberty. I used to bath with mine, until we could no longer fit in the bath together and nobody wanted the tap end!

This is about whether it's appropriate to still wander around naked with teenagers (especially boys) in the house.

I personally don't think it's right. You're embarrassing them, even though they won't tell you.
It's bad enough having to deal with raging hormones at that age, without having to deal with parents who let it all hang out at every chance they get.

It's got nothing to do with 'being a prude' (something trotted out far too much when threads such as this turn up)
It's about respecting the privacy and boundaries of young (teenage) people in your house.

WhooooAmI24601 · 26/08/2017 18:31

DS1 is 11 and still comes for a chat if ever I have a bath at night time. He's not reached the 'ick' stage yet and when he does it'll be fine. He'll go into the bathroom while DH is in the shower, too, and have a chat or ask a question.

We were on holiday recently on a Greek island and swam to a beach from the boat. It was only as we walked further down the beach that the DCs spotted a nudist section. Obviously they had a little giggle but that was it; they didn't keel over and die for seeing men, women and children playing on a beach naked. If anything it probably reaffirms the fact that everyone's bodies are 'normal' and that bodies aren't to be ashamed of.

MIL is incredibly prudish and I think it can lead to some real discomfort at times for her; if she takes the DCs to the beach or swimming (she has a house in Gower) it's obvious even to the DCs that they've to be cautious when dressing and undressing near her because she gets embarrassed. It's a shame to be that way.

GoldenOrb · 26/08/2017 18:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bettyspants · 26/08/2017 18:32

Naked person and co sleeper here, if the children seem embarrassed then clothes would go on. There's far too much being overly body conscious and seeing naked bodies as sexual objects. Natural and normal is our preferred option , dd1 is 19 and very happy with how she was brought up and seems to have a healthy attitude towards nakedness!!

Rufus27 · 26/08/2017 18:54

My parents went around naked (around bed time, getting up time,

post shower etc.) right up to the day I moved out (20s). In fact, they still do unless they have guests staying. I chose to not appear naked in front of my family once I hit puberty, but DB didn't and I guess (but don't know!) he is still this open with his DW and DS. No big deal. We are a very open family generally.

BlueberryPuffin · 26/08/2017 18:56

This is about whether it's appropriate to still wander around naked with teenagers

Is it? The OP said her kids are 6, 7, and 8. Most of the people posting are talking about kids under 11.

AnaisB · 26/08/2017 19:05

I was a child of parents who walked around nude. I wasn't embarrassed and didn't really care. It's not a "look at me" thing - that mindset comes from being self-conscious.
I also didn't care when I was a teenager and mum sunbathed topless (if that's what is meant by "semi-nude!")
A big part of how embarrassing we find bodies comes from our parents.

Lovingit81 · 26/08/2017 19:06

Love nakedness, I think it's very healthy and I feel sad for those so prudish about it. I agree you should read your children's responses etc which sounds like you are. Bravo

PacificDogwod · 26/08/2017 19:08

We were on holiday recently and had a villa with pool, a very very private pool.
Dos discovered the joy of skinny dipping.... Grin

It was funny how reluctant they were initially, but then loved it.
The 7 and 9 yo were nekkid quite a lot of the time, the 13 and 14 yo not so much and that is just fine.

BuzzKillington · 26/08/2017 19:13

Nothing better than a naked swim.

We have a place in Florida and when there, dh and I often strip off and have a naked swim after dinner. The locals would have a conniption - they're terribly prudish there.

Allthewaves · 26/08/2017 19:19

My boys are 8,6,4 and they stand and chat to me while I'm in shower or getting dressed - I chase them out of my room quite often lol.

We don't walk around naked but don't cover up loads. I will walk from bathroom to bed room with no towel etc

My 8 yr old has no inhibitions Shock so I'm encouraging him to close the door of the bathroom etc.

Iv noticed my friend who have mixed sex siblings have more cover up/privacy issues at ages my boys are.

My boys would happily walk round the house naked. I chase them to stick pants or shorts on

Pengggwn · 26/08/2017 19:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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