To think my 16 year old DD's life is one big party

[didyoureally]

DD is off out again this evening...again. Admittedly it is GCSE results day today and she and her friends want to celebrate, but it seems to be turning into a very frequent occurrence. Nearly every day she has meet-ups/parties/meals/"gatherings" and I just wonder if this is typical for her age-group. She says it is, that everyone's parents are cool with it and that pretty much everyone drinks alcohol. If there any parents of Year 12/13s out there can I ask if it calms down once they go back to school or is this what I need to expect for the future too?

Shes 16 and just passed her exams- of course everyone is going out to party. She will continue as its holidays too

Yes for us. TBH! It was no different when I was 16 and in some ways their parties are a lot tamer

Of course she should be out socialising and celebrating her results.

Fine celebrating GCSEs. Out of interest, who is paying for all the partying and how much is it? Does she have a summer job that's funding it? If you're paying (over a basic allowance for toiletries, basic transport etc) then surely you can give her a set amount for six weeks and just tell her after that there's no more? Good for her to learn now before she hits uni/apprenticeships

Yes, they tend to do the socialising / party / BBQ thing in the holidays, then the work (and all other 'routine' things folk do) kick back in in term time until Yr13 when 18th birthday celebrations start

Maybe I shouldn't have posted this on results day! I agree absolutely that she should be enjoying today.
I feel like I am just finding my feet with this stage of her life which is very different to my own experiences as a teenager.
Your comments are giving me plenty to think about milliemolliemou. She doesn't have a job and so I am funding her social life at present. The cost of what she is doing isn't excessive but it does mount up over a few weeks. I think a holiday budget will be a great idea for the next school holidays.

I was the same at 16. The main difference being i was working part time and funded it all myself. I would go to the pub in a friday until 12, work 9-6 saturdays then go out in the clubs until 3/4am then back at work sunday 10-4.

I honestly don't know where i got the energy

I wouldn't be planning on a holiday budget i would be planning on her getting a job

Yes you are probably right about a job. My other DC works at weekends and has become very good at budgeting and deciding what he really wants to spend it on. DD seems to feel a bit more entitled to a hectic social life as she thinks that is what everyone else is doing.

Doesn't sound out of the ordinary to me. What is it you have a problem with? The expense: give her an allowance and tell her she needs to find a job for any extras.
The fact that she neglects schoolwork/ chores? In terms of chores I think it's easiest you agree on set things she has to do before she goes out. If she doesn't do them, she doesn't go.
Alcohol, sex or drugs? I understand your worry but certain level of experimentingvis normal and healthy. Talk to her about consequences and how to keep herself safe. Re-assure her you have her back when things go wrong.
The fact she doesn't want to spend as much time with You? Understandable, but you need to get over it.

Doesn't sound out of the ordinary to me. What is it you have a problem with? The expense: give her an allowance and tell her she needs to find a job for any extras.
The fact that she neglects schoolwork/ chores? In terms of chores I think it's easiest you agree on set things she has to do before she goes out. If she doesn't do them, she doesn't go.
Alcohol, sex or drugs? I understand your worry but certain level of experimentingvis normal and healthy. Talk to her about consequences and how to keep herself safe. Re-assure her you have her back when things go wrong.
The fact she doesn't want to spend as much time with You? Understandable, but you need to get over it.

Get a grip you fun sucker she is 16 she's got the rest of her life to do shit adult things
Life should be a constant party at 16

Agree with pp, it's normal BUT when I got to 16 my Dad basically said that if I wanted to act like an adult then he'd treat me like one. That involved me funding my own social life and not relying on him for lifts everywhere. So I got a weekend job in a shop, and my parents left me to get on with it.

What would you prefer her do? I never went out at 16 coz I had no mates and my mum wouldn't have let me anyway but I always wished I could have done. Sad seeing other people having fun when you're not allowed or have no one to go with. Makes me sad now to think about and it was a long time ago. Let her go, you're only 16 once, be glad she has friends and wants to socialise. It's all part of growing up. I do agree about her getting a part time job to fund it all though, only fair.

"Life should be a constant party at 16".
No, it shouldn't be!
I was working at 16yo. Lots of babysitting, days and nights, and I had a job organising supper for the elderly nuns in the convent 3 miles away-and I often walked there and back.
And I had what I would consider a very sheltered, very fortunate middle class life. Kids do need to learn about working and money.
Of course she should be allowed to celebrate, and socialising is brilliant and should be encouraged and enjoyed.
But life isn't one big party, and she needs to learn that too.

Yes I definitely think finding a job is the way forward. She had been very keen to find one until her social life took over .

As long as she's not feeling under pressure to indulge in risky behaviours when she'd rather not then she'll be ok. Just make sure you're open enough for her to feel she can confide in you & ask you for advice if she needs it.

I feel envious of your DD, it would have been great to be a carefree confident partying teen!
I was achingly shy with mental health problems and ill during my gcses with uncontrollable epilepsy, not pleasant.

I was the same at 16 - out most days/nights with friends. It's normal.

A1, yes it should be!! 16 is still really young. There's plenty of time for real life to slap you in the face!!
Yes they do need to learn about working and money, but they still need to enjoy themselves too!

Well she is 16 after all, enjoy it whilst she can. Encourage her to find a part time job.

Fairly standard 16 year old behaviour. I'd be more concerned if she didn't have friends and wasn't going out.

She can enjoy herself, no one is saying otherwise. But every day, and expecting her mum to fund it?

This is one of the few remaining summers in her life where she will have no responsibilities - let her enjoy it.
My ds is 16 - he is out with his gf most days. To me, that is as it should be. Obviously when he is back at school I will expect him to be home a lot more and prioritise his A levels. But not this summer.

My DD Is the same every night is some "gathering" or another. I'm all for her having fun and socialising but what really gets to me is the lack of a plan , she forgets her key, says she's staying at Xs house, then at 1-2 I get a call saying either A) she's stuck needs a lift or b) plans fell through she'll be home soon without a key. It's exhausting !

Like most things - there is an 'in between'. Doesn't have to be either out partying all night funded by her Mum, or working all the hours she can and never going out.
Sometimes threads divide into extremes, when most 16 yr olds probably fall somewhere in the middle, which would be the most sensible place to be, IMO.

God yes. My life at 16 certainly was. I worked to pay for it though.