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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be concerned about this child

76 replies

FlyingFox95 · 23/08/2017 23:03

And if so, who do I contact?

I'm not a mother so I'm not aware of the contacts in schools or what I should do. I work evenings and travel in round about the time school ends. There is a girl who gets on the bus with a primary school uniform and travels herself to the city centre (about an hour depending on traffic....definitely outwith the catchment area) I've not seen where she goes since then. Today I noticed she was starting to get up at different points then ended up getting off at a different stop. Really don't think she knows her way at all.

I know I should have done something else but I didn't really consider it until today. My head is always somewhere else travelling but I noticed today I've seen her regularly so it is a common thing

Is my concern unreasonable, if so what should I do? Again, I'm not a parent myself so please excuse my ignorance. I just want to do the right thing. X

OP posts:
quizqueen · 24/08/2017 02:37

Personally, I think primary age children should always be accompanied by an older person on their journeys to and from school. This child will be doing that journey in the dark as well for part of the year. At my granddaughter's school ( which is in a lovely, safe as you could hope to expect small village, where most people know each other !) the head teacher has said that only the year 6s (top juniors) are allowed to wait in the playground without an adult in the morning before the school doors are opened.

I definitely would be concerned about a young child making a long bus journey by herself out of catchment area into a city so I would sent an email to the head teacher. You have nothing to lose by expressing some concern that one of their pupils is travelling on such a journey by herself every day and you could be flagging up an issue they have some concerns about even if the child does seem to know where she is going.

SisyphusHadItEasy · 24/08/2017 02:47

My DD is one of those children who seem significantly younger than they are. She is a tiny 1.3m tall and a bit over 4 stone.

No one believes she is 12 yo and in Y7. She is generally not assumed to be more than a small 8yo.

Just another viewpoint.

Twinkleheth · 24/08/2017 02:47

I think if you have concerns OP you are right to share these. If there is no issue, then no harm has been done.

Curlyhepburn · 24/08/2017 03:38

Im from Glasgow and from what youre saying my best geuss is that the child is attending st al's as its the only slap bang middle of city centre school really. If thats the case then its a privete school but accepts children on scholarships who are above average and its well known for accepting kids from glasgow and surrounding areas. My other geuss is she either lives in somewhere like dumbarton or possibly milngavie as they are different council areas but they all lead into centre of glasgow pretty much the same way. Its 1 bus on a rather majorly long road. If there were any concerns about her travelling that distance someone in the know wpuld have dealt with it.

imisschocolate · 24/08/2017 03:46

I was just about to type the same thing as curly.

Its also possible that the child is older than you think. My commuting route is used by secondary school children for 2 schools and i would think they were primary age if not for the uniform.

Does the child seem upset /unsure in anway?

caribari72 · 24/08/2017 04:14

It's not very common in the (urban) west of Scotland to have children travelling for miles alone on public transport so I just wanted to reassure OP that any concern is normal and it's actually a good thing that you've asked advice, I think I would have done the same.
if the wee toot, however old she is looks happy and confident, great. If alarm bells are ringing then it's the school then the police.
Better to be thought a time-waster than someone who sat back.
If my wee ones were out of their depth, I'd be happy if someone stepped in.

flumpybear · 24/08/2017 04:44

My DD is nearly 9 (oldest in year) but I'd never let her even walk yo school 5 mins) let alone bus!!! It's far too young and she's at risk in my opinion

drspouse · 24/08/2017 05:01

curly it's the other way round - school in suburb, child going to city centre.

At my DS' school one child moved house but was very settled plus the family were really struggling so school was a calm place for them. School first bought a bike but that was too hard in the winter then they helped the child to get the bus (help with routes etc). It would have been about 45 mins on a bad traffic day (it's only about 7 miles!).
Another child is in foster care temporarily but they get a taxi, it's 20 miles. School is a constant element for many children with disruption at home.

MrEBear · 24/08/2017 05:14

My guess is she is going to a parents workplace and will hang about until they finish and will get a lift home. It could be that the workplace is between two stops so she either gets off before or after making no real difference to her travel time.

But I think your right to be concerned about a primary kid travelling alone into any busy city. The expression "into town" gives the impression that your talking about a small town your not your talking about a major city.

JoAnnTidyHouse · 24/08/2017 05:27

If you've noticed her, and sensed a vulnerability, then any creep on the bus wll have noticed this as well. That is what they look for. Please contact the school.

I understand your concern. IME, private school kids usually travel in groups to the city centre after school, often in order to travel back out again. Let the school do its job.

MrEBear · 24/08/2017 05:35

I've just re-read your initial post. Getting up at different stops probably means she's forgotten the route after summer holidays.

I'd contact the school as a first port of call.

Lyle49 · 24/08/2017 06:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MyOtherProfile · 24/08/2017 06:39

We can all make all kinds of guesses with varying degrees of accuracy but what's the point? Especially no point to trying to identify the school or where the child lives. At the end of the day a young child is getting a bus a fair distance alone and the OP has a concern. This may be unfounded but there's no harm at all in flagging it up with a school.
The school may be totally aware and May understand why the child is doing this. On the other hand they may have no idea, may alrwady have some concerns about the child and this information could really help make some positive changes to the child's life.

Schools don't monitor how children get to and from school and may have no idea why is happening. Nothing to lose from just chatting to the head.

Billben · 24/08/2017 06:42

I don't know why are so many people picking holes in your story and giving you grief. I would ring the school just to put my mind to rest.

user1480334601 · 24/08/2017 07:02

Yes Op I'd report too. Purely to get checked out if it is all OK no harm will come from it, but if something is a bit dodgy would be way worse to leave it.

Its worrying when people try to dissuade the op not to bother on posts like this, quite shirtily too sometimes. Always better to be safe than sorry where children are involved

fannydaggerz · 24/08/2017 07:50

Have you spoken to the girl? Just little things like are you ok, do you know what stop you're getting off at?

You could contact the school to say you're concerned that a young child (7 is primary 3) has been left to their own devices and you're worried as she seemed to be getting off at different stops each time and you wanted to note it to the school.

Lunde · 24/08/2017 09:41

I think the fact that you believe children should not travel without parents before the age of 14 is colouring your view. 14 would be pretty sheltered.

I also suspect that you have little idea how old she could possibly be - you say "older looking" and then above 7 - so she could be 10 or 11?

kali110 · 24/08/2017 14:08

I dont understand why people are concerned with her getting off at different stops =has to mean a bad thing.
Meeting parents, friends, relatives etc

Neutrogena · 24/08/2017 14:32

Let her have her freedom.

Librarybooksandacoconut · 24/08/2017 14:58

I'm a safeguarding lead at a primary school. Please call the school and let them know your concerns. It may be that they are aware and happy with the situation (although I can't imagine many circumstances where I would be), however it could be they are unaware and there are also other concerns.

I'd far rather waste time checking a harmless situation out than be unaware a vulnerable child is potentially at risk.

MyOtherProfile · 24/08/2017 15:54

Well said library

MrEBear · 25/08/2017 09:20

Op did you see her yesterday or try to report it?

Original poster
FlyingFox95 · 28/08/2017 00:58

I've emailed the head (know the school as I went there) and they will be able to handle things. Thanks for all the good advice:)
Not seen her since as I haven't been into the city for work but it's been flagged xx

OP posts:
mamamalt · 28/08/2017 08:05

As someone who works with at risk children and young people, please call.
Sometimes something seems so small but it can be the last piece of the puzzle. All these things go on gathered evidence and this can take a long time and all too often come to conclusion too late.
So many times I have heard, after a full disclosure/referral, 'oh I just thought that was a little odd' but they had been afraid to say something. You never know but if it doesn't feel right it generally isn't.

mamamalt · 28/08/2017 08:10

Oops you've emailed!
Sorry! My bad. Well done you. 👍🏼