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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to feel stupid about being bullied !

2 replies

Balletmummy25 · 23/08/2017 21:02

Firstly I am sorry I disappeared ( in the one with the DD with a chronic illness who got lots of support from you guys )
My phone broke 😂Had to use my old one and forgot my log in details !

So we spend a lot of time on a specialist children's ward and there is a group of mums who have known each other a while ( they were long termers together kids are older than mine ) I have met them all at different times in there shorter admissions etc but together they all very clicky.

So one in particular let's call her Mary, she has 2 kids with conditions not the same as DD but one which requires some similar treatment. When we were first admitted for 20 months !! She was here with DD for some of the period.
At first I really idolised her ( I am lot younger, had no experience in any of this and was a bit lost )
She seemed to be almost queen of the hospital of that makes sense.
Spoke about how she would have meeting with consultants and chiefs of hospital about all the kids and what they neede etc.
I often asked advice.
As the last few years have gone on I noticed she wasn't all she seemed.
Another mum I am close to also felt the same.
For instance the conversation couldn't turn away from her kids.
If one of ours was particularly sick she would be like " think yourself lucky you didn't got through what mine did "
Then she was caught lieing about some pretty substantial stuff and took a disliking to me in general.
She runs a charity for " our" children specifically for kids on our ward however we never see anything or have never benefitted from it.
She cuts my daughters head out of a picture on the Facebook group.
She told me I needed to be careful how often I took DD to hospital as the hospital would take her away.
She always degrades DDs health.
At xmas her " charity " gave all the kids 200 pound for a day out, my DD was never offered.
They give itune vouchers out to use on their iPads when in or at home .. never received one etc

Other hurtful comments and actions

Anyway for the first time since and in 18 months we both happen to be in at the same time again. ( neighbours to )
My anxiety is sky high.

OP posts:
StillDrivingMeBonkers · 23/08/2017 21:07

You know you can look up a charity and see the books?

Legal requirement:

By law, if you set up a charity you must apply to register it with the commission if it is a charitable incorporated organisation (CIO) or its annual income is more than £5,000, unless it is a specific type of charity that doesn’t have to register. The commission will take action to secure compliance if it identifies a charity which isn’t registered but should be.

www.gov.uk/government/organisations/charity-commission

You can report her for fraud if shes calling it a charity when it isn't. Personally I would write to the hospital trust board for clarification

Balletmummy25 · 23/08/2017 21:40

The way the charity is set up is legit I know that much.
I feel horrible and stupid like I'm being too sensitive and just need to man up.

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