To feel like I'm missing out on something?

[CheesecakeYesPlease]

Not sure if the way I feel is a 'the grass is always greener on the other side' type of thing so I think I need some outside perspective.

I'm 22, DP Is 26. We've been together 5 years and have 2 DC's who are 2 and 6 months. He is the only person I've ever been with sexually.

I've had many periods of unhappiness with DP and regularly question whether I'm happy in our relationship, coming to the conclusion that No, I'm really not but I don't want to break up our family. From the very beginning my family told me to not settle down to early to explore my options etc etc and I thought things were going too fast but then before I knew it we had two children, a house and a family life.

I've never been a 2.5 kids and house type of person so not sure if that contributes to the way I feel but I'm just bored I guess? I see my friends doing other things with their life and I've already had to put my studies on hold for my children, which I honestly don't mind but I envy my friends sometimes for having the freedom to do what they want.

I also sometimes feel like I'm missing out on being with other people and exploring my options. I can never imagine myself with DP in 10 years time; he's not the greatest around the house, not very helpful with the kids and sex isn't the greatest.

I don't know. This is longer than I thought and I'm not quite sure what I'm asking. I just sometimes think is this my life now? Being with someone I don't like 80% of the time who expects me to do everything with the house/kids yet expects intimacy in the bedroom which is frankly, pretty shit?

I don't know what to say that will help. I feel trapped just reading your post, so can't even imagine how you're feeling.

You've been with this man since you were 17, and you already have 2 DC and a settled family life?

Do you have family nearby? Can you talk to your DP and explain how you're feeling - that him not stepping up is deal-breaker territory?

I know this only goes a very small way to resolving things, but it's a start.

I think we always know when a relationship doesnt feel right. I was in a volatile relationship for five years that just dragged on and on because we had two daughters together
I was so miserable and knew it wasn't right but I didn't want to be on my own. I'm with a new partner now and I'm so much happier and everything feels " right" for the first time ever. You know what you have to do if you're no longer happy with him...or you will look back and see all the time you wasted.

Neither of the children were planned but neither of us could imagine life without them now and we set upon building a permanent family home for them both. All of my family live local and everyone knows how I feel, even DP. He likes to bury his head in the sand and hope I forget about how I feel, though.

Sorry you feel like this.

Are you suffering from post-natal depression? Maybe worth chatting to the gp.

Can you arrange a babysitter so you and dp can have some fun and a night off.

Alternatively, can you do a new hobby? Go,to the gym? Do a sport etc. Something to give you a break from the kids.

do,you socialise and meet other mums?

Go,to coffee mornings etc.

And yes none of it feels right and it all moved so quickly but I feel like it's too late to slow things down now? I would love to go back to just 'dating' him as I can't stand living with him