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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To the whole family don't need to go to the hospital for a broken arm?

64 replies

Herculesfan · 23/08/2017 20:39

My (adult) niece has broken her arm, quite badly she is having surgery tomorrow. Her sister was supposed to be babysitting for me this evening but has cancelled as the whole family (mum Dad sister brother) are at the hospital with her....

Am I unreasonable to think the whole family don't need to be there and they are probably just driving everyone else in the ward mad?

OP posts:
Efferlunt · 23/08/2017 21:37

Was in a&e recently. Most of the space in the children's bit taken up with a mum, dad gran and three kids. Could sort of understand it if your kid was ill but from the things he was shouting at the staff it was the dad who had the issue. Why they had to bring their kids and an extra random adult in that situation I've no idea. If my DH had to go to A&e and was walking and talking there's no way I'd drag the kids and gran up there as well.

zzzzz · 23/08/2017 21:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WipsGlitter · 23/08/2017 21:39

Once I took DS2 for a hospital appointment. Waiting with us were a mum and dad, three kids and granny. Only child was the one being seen. It was just before Christmas and I remember thinking how boring for them all to traipse there and have to wait for hours.

MusicForTheJiltedGeneration · 23/08/2017 21:41

Depends on the circumstances.

e.g.

Hit by a car, broken arm requiring surgery = okay for everyone to pile in and basically express their relief it wasn't worse.

Fell over on when drunk = 1 visitor to tell you what a twat you've been Smile

More importantly - what Chinese did you have @Herculesfan ?

ForeverLivingMyArse · 23/08/2017 21:42

Hospital trips are family activities for some!

MusicForTheJiltedGeneration · 23/08/2017 21:44
AuditAngel · 23/08/2017 21:45

I'm on holiday at the moment, DH has been unable to join us due to issues at work. I think I have broken my little toe, but no way am I taking 3 kids to a Spanish A&E. I've taped it

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 23/08/2017 21:46

Oh gawd YANBU ..
It's so not SN opportunity for a family outing

MissMoneyPlant · 23/08/2017 21:49

I wonder if it's because certain popular (American!) TV shows always have hordes of people going along to ER together? (And when giving birth too!)

RiverTam · 23/08/2017 21:51

Can't bear it. Impossible to get a seat next to the person you're visiting if 6 people, rather than the 2 actually allowed, visiting one person are hogging all the seats. I wish the staff would enforce the 2 visitors thing but I've never seen them do so.

ItsNotLit · 23/08/2017 21:52

YANBU. It's silly.

maddiemookins16mum · 23/08/2017 21:58

YANBU, i was in the Casualty Dept of the JR hospital Oxford once, waiting for my mum. An entire family (6 adults, 4 rowdy teens) pitched up for one chap (minor injuries frim rtc). They ordered Dominoes and kept asking the reception staff when it was coming!

2ndSopranos · 23/08/2017 22:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GabsAlot · 23/08/2017 22:01

dominos? are they taking the piss

if it was an accident mayb thy were concernd but hav left now

PyongyangKipperbang · 23/08/2017 22:09

I was in A&E with DD with a suspected broken wrist 4 hour minimum wait. There was a family with mum, dad, 2 grandma's, a grandad and 2 other women who I suspect were a sister and a friend. All with a small child who had had a temperature and they were pissed off that the GP said it was nothing to worry about (No I wasnt eavesdropping, you could have heard them from the fucking car park!) The kid was running riot and being completely ignored by all these "worried sick" adults.

There were people there who were obviously in pain who couldnt sit down because 7 people accompanied a small child who had nothing wrong with him!

There were a bit....forthright, so I didnt feel I could say anything to them so when we were called into triage I mentioned it to the nurse.

Lots of argy bargy later (most if which we missed by being in X ray :( ), everyone except mum and dad were thrown out with threats of calling the police if they didnt stop threatening the staff and patients and the kid was taken in and promptly sent home again. It was obvious that they skipped him up the queue just to get rid of them.

I do agree that some people seem to absolutely relish the drama of a day out in hospital, all posted blow by blow on face book, vague enough to illicit "OMG hun!!! Are you ok?" type responses Hmm

She didnt have a broken wrist btw if anyone cares!

FuckOffDavid · 23/08/2017 22:11

I had to take my DD to A&E on Thursday (broken bone). Not too busy until a woman came in with her toddler daughter and two older kids. Understandable the older kids couldn't be left at home, but less than ten minutes later the woman's husband arrived, with his sister and his sister's kids. They proceeded to take over a huge chunk of the waiting room with hyper kids running riot.

PovertyPain · 23/08/2017 22:11

I got so fucking pissed off with the lazy bastards that used to sit on their arses in the cancer unit, while the actual patients, including my DH, couldn't get a seat I would ask out loud if anyone, not there for treatment, could give my husband a seat. He used to cringe but he was standing there holing onto his fucking rolator and very obviously ill and the cunts would bury their faces in their phones. Pricks.

SomewhatIdiosyncratic · 23/08/2017 22:12

YANBU

DS2 had breathing difficulties at night when he was 3 months old. Typically DH was working abroad so I was on my own. The choice:
a) drag 2 year old DS1 out of bed for several hours lurking around A&E at night
Or
b) phone a friend to come over and leave the house as soon as he got there.

B won. I wouldn't willingly bring additional people to the hospital (other than within the guidelines of visiting hours on a ward).

When going into labour, nursery was full so DS1 had to temporarily come to labour ward while our friend travelled from work to collect him. He was gone ASAP.

PyongyangKipperbang · 23/08/2017 22:16

I wonder if it's because certain popular (American!) TV shows always have hordes of people going along to ER together? (And when giving birth too!)

I agree.

Its sort of understandable when a first time mum who has no experience of how it all works is going in. If she has seen all these shows, she might think its normal. What I dont understand is older family members who do know, rocking up and trying to get into a waiting room that doesnt actually exist, expecting to be called into the delivery room as soon as the baby takes it first breath.

Its all just desperation for drama.

Allthewaves · 23/08/2017 22:17

Completely agree. Iv once had to take all my kids to a&e while ringing mil to come out of work to collect the two that weren't injured. She collected and made swift exit.

CurlsandCurves · 23/08/2017 22:43

YANBU.

I was recently in as a day case for minor surgery. The next bed to me had a lady in for similar. I was there with my mum for support, she insisted, bless her, we chilled out, chatted a bit, read books, etc.

Next door was like a family event! Several children, mum, dad. And ok, thats fine for a while, but... The most annoying person was one of her daughters who found the whole thing hugely amusing. Any time a nurse, HCA, doctor came to see them, she was in absolute hysterical giggles once said person had left. apparently being seen by a medical professional is the height of hilarity....

bootygirl · 23/08/2017 22:51

My MIL is one of these when it comes to DH brothers family... like every time one of bil kids 'sick' it takes 3 adults to go with them. She fell out with me & DH not 'caring' enough to go & sit with them!!
We have 2 SN kids & she never came with us & I ve often had to go alone or DH will go...
but they love the drama... attention...

AngeloftheSouth84 · 23/08/2017 23:03

Its all drama llamas. They just get in the way and annoy the person that is actually ill. You may need one person to assist / provide company / emotional support / being on your side during negotiations with staff, but that's it

Binglesplodge · 23/08/2017 23:17

YAtotallyNBU.

I don't understand the family outing to A and E at all. I've seen it a couple of times when I've had to take ds to hospital: both times it was late at night (typical!) yet the children's waiting room was full of entire families. Surely if mum, dad, grandparents and 5 kids are there (not an exaggeration) then one parent should stay with the patient and the other adults should go home with the other children? It's not a kids' club.

If the patient is an adult they don't need more than one person to keep them company/keep track of their belongings/give updates to family.

Luckymummy22 · 24/08/2017 00:04

I took my eldest to A&E a couple of months ago which turned out to be a broken arm. I managed to do it all by myself! Just the 2 of us!!
Hubby was in bed and working that night and really what good could he do. He did get a bit of a shock when he can me downstairs at home though!
I did then have to take my youngest to A&E a couple of weeks later and DH was working. I was incredibly conscious of the fact I had one child with blood pouring out a gash in his head and 1 sitting with a cast on🤣

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