DP, DS who is 19mo and I live around 45 minutes away from my parents. DB has 2 children who are 2 and 4 and he currently lives at home with them. His children, my niece and nephew live with their DM, my partners ex but spend every and all weekend and 1-2 evenings in the week at my parents. They only live a 5 min drive away. My DM has often told me I'm confidence that she does at times find it a little bit too much but is too polite to say anything.
Ofc I understand that they are naturally going to see more of my niece and nephew as they live closer, and their Dad lives with them, and that is completely fine. But I can't help but feeling they don't make even half as much effort with my DS.
They hardly ever ever come to see us, unless I have planned a big meal and made a big point of inviting them, and they wouldn't see DS at all unless we went to them. I can literally count on 1 hand the amount of times they have been to our home since he was born. On occasion (around every 2-3 months) they will have DS overnight if DP and I are both working or on the odd occasion we have made plans to go out. I am very grateful for this, especially as I'm adding a 3rd child to their gang! And I always try to give as much notice as possible.
They go on days out with niece and nephew, taking them to places and buying them things. They've never once offered to take DS anywhere (although they always say they "will have to take DS one time"- never happens!) and whenever he stays over they just stay home. If I was DB or his ex, I would say they were faultless GP's who go above and beyond for their kids- they really do.
They often say that our home is a hassle to get to with the traffic and the route they have to take. But DM drives to see her DF every few months and he lives around 350 miles away. I just feel it's a lack of effort and unless we live on their doorstep DS will never have a proper relationship with my parents. DP's parents dote on DS (as they do their other grandchild) and more than make up for my own parents misgivings, so I'm happy he at least has one set of grandparents who he's close with.
It's not that my parents show no interest- they do. But nowhere near, not even half as much interest as they show my niece and nephew and I feel really hurt by this. I've always been a bit of a black sheep of the family and have at times felt very left out (whole other thread!) but I could forgive and forget all that if they were brilliant GP's as they are to their other DGC. AIBU to feel hurt and like DS deserves more from them?
AIBU?
AIBU to feel really hurt and pissed off with my parents?
Goodbyechuck · 23/08/2017 17:56
for god's sake! they live practically NEXT DOOR to their other grandchildren hence why they 'see' and 'do' more with them!
Move closer to them if you want your dc to have the same 
So being a good grandparent is based on location? They are only 45 minutes away.
Can you speak to your mum and explain how you feel. Bring up her visiting your city and how hurt you feel about them not letting you know.
Make it about building your relationship rather than comparing to your DB.
Feel for you, it must be frustrating 
Just realised I'm using DP for both Partner and parents! In that last post I'm referring to issues with parents and then later on abut my partners parents! I might stay clear of the abbreviations! 
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