Oily hair

[Ttbb]

My DS often goes to spend time with my MIL and FIL. Every other time he comes back with visibly greasy hair (so greasy that it leaves stains on walls to give you an idea). I find it disgusting. I can't look at it without feeling nauseous. They have been putting some kind of hair oil (they said coconut sonething) which is fine, I've used marrocan oil stuff before but not enough for my hair to get oily! DS is only three and has perfect hair, he doesn't need anything in it! Each time this happens I have to give him a bath (unfortunately he has bad eczema so can't have too many baths, additionally visits tend to be very ad hoc so sonething it will be difficult to squeeze one in either because I have to take him somewhere (e.g. Doctors) or because it would mean delaying bed time, or he would have already had a bath that day so it would be really bad for his skin). I have tried dropping not so subtle hints (e.g. Noting to my son when they drop him off that his hair is very dirty as he should go upstairs to have a bath). Am I overreacting because I find it gross or would it be ok to ask my husband to tell them not to do it?

Just ask them politely not to do it.

Further to the above. Obviously I always wash it immediately because I don't want people to think he's being neglected (not to mention I feel very unwell if I accidentally touch it).

I can't. My MIL is extremely sensitive. If I say anything that isn't overtly complimentary to her she starts screaming at me. I don't want to have to drag my husband into it but they will react better if he tells them.

She sounds delightful.

In that case ask your DH to speak to them, presenting it as his request.

Good idea, I didn't think to do that actually.

My colleague oils her little boy's hair because her husband (who is black and from the USA) is very insistent that it's important for his hair type and that it's something his family have always done to children's curly hair. Is that the issue with your PILs? Is it a cultural thing?

Either way, if you don't like it and feel his hair doesn't benefit from it, I think you or your husband definitely needs to say something, particularly given your son's eczema and not wanting to bathe him too often. I think saying it makes you feel unwell is a tiny bit drama-queeny, but I can totally see why you don't like it.

His hair is straight (and not at all dry/brittle) so I have no idea why they do it. They both have very bad hair though so maybe it's a habit? I'm just very squeamish about oiliness. Can't stand getting oil on my hands for example, I don't know why but it makes me sick to the stomach.