My DP and I have been together for 6 years and we each have a child from previous relationships. We lost a baby at 22 weeks in December due to placental abruption.
I am now 11 weeks pregnant. When we discovered I was pregnant this time round, we agreed we didn't want to tell anyone about it for as long as possible. We have each told our best friend and a senior line manager at work, just to ensure we can attend medical appointments and receive the necessary support etc.
As its the school holidays I had arranged for my son to stay with my parents this week; they were coming to collect him (they live a couple of hours away) on Monday lunchtime. My DSS had been with his grandfather (also not local) for a long weekend and my DP was going to collect him that day, and then stay overnight.
I nipped out with my son to get his new school shoes on Monday and whilst I was out, my mum text to say they were nearly at mine, I told them my DP was still at home and to just knock and he would let them in, before he left to go and collect his son from his dads.
I got home about half an hour later, my DP had already left. I had lunch with my parents and then they left with my little boy. At some point during the afternoon I got a text from my DP to say he had told my parents I was pregnant. I assumed he was joking, we exchanged a couple more messages where he said he wasn't etc but I genuinely didn't think any more of it.
Anyway, when he got back from his dad's last night, it turns out he hadn't been joking, and he had actually told my parents I am pregnant. Without my knowledge or consent, without me being there, without any thought for the fact that I would have liked to tell them myself, or that my parents will inevitably now worry about this pregnancy, and without any consideration to us not even having had the twelve week scan yet to know that everything is ok so far (scan is on Friday).
My poor parents haven't said anything to me, and I now have no idea what to say to them.
In my DP's defence, he struggles with emotions, both expressing them and recognising them in others, and responding appropriately to them. He thought that because I had jokingly said that I wasn't sure how I'd keep my fairly visible bump a secret, that I was "stressed" about it, and that him telling them would remove the stress for me. He can't seem to understand that he has created a hundred times more stress. He also hasn't apologised, but that's not unusual for him, as I say he's not big on recognising and acting on emotional situations. I honestly
think he thought he was doing the right thing, even though it's totally beyond my comprehension, rather than for any sinister purposes, I.e to be controlling etc etc.
So AIBU being so fucked off with him, and what do I do now??
Sorry for the loooooooong post.