Please help me!

[Namechang3896]

My OH hasnt been right for a while now. After a discussion hes admitted that hes very depressed partly down to me and my issues when dealing with conflict. I know this is something i need to work on and really am trying. We have a DD together and we are relient on him.
I really do love him and because i love him i dont want him to feel this way. Hes suicidal.
Should i leave so he can recover? I dont want to be without him at all but i love him enough that i will go if it will make him feel better.
I really dont know what to do. I have no money and no where to go but i will figure it out if i have to because i dont want him to feel this way.

Please help me!

You're not really giving enough information OP.

We don't know what your issues dealing with conflict are.

That could be anything from you being violent to HIM being violent and you not coping.

You need to explain more.

If he's depressed and feeling suicidal, then he really needs to see his GP

I posted on your other thread OP. You need to get one of them removed.

FWIW I said the same as SouthWinds. He needs to see his GP first.

Just go to counselling. It is very good value for money compared to being a single parent. They will help you both sort your issues out. To be honest it is very rare that one person's depression is caused by another person's behaviour, so he may have wider issues he needs help with, but you can also get help with your own conflict issues too.

Dont struggle on trying to fix this on your own - you wouldnt try and fix a broken arm or mend a broken car so get some help from an expert.

As I said on the other thread you posted, it depends what your issues with conflict actually are.

Are you violent, abusive, threatening, aggressive etc to him? Nobody can really answer your question without knowing that - I wouldn't tell a man or a woman to 'go for couples counselling' if their partner was violent or abusive, I'd tell them to leave as a matter of urgency. But I might say 'go for couples counselling' if the conflict issue is a less harmful one, ie more of an inability to discuss problems without clamming up or something like that.

OP-Please believe me, if he is clinically depressed and suicidal then that this is not because of you (or any one factor). He needs medical help, but whatever he may be saying in his current poorly state this is not your fault!

My dh suffered a nervous breakdown were he was very depressed. I rang the doctors at 5.50 and explained that it could not wait, he needed to see/speak to someone now!
The doctor spoke to him and get him meds.

He's now in therapy and doing really well, almost back to the same person I started going out with 8years ago.

If he won't do anything you take control, call the gp explain and I hope they will help.

Sending love, I know how difficult it can be.

Im not violent or aggressive. I just dont handle emotion well so can get very defensive which makes him feel as though he cant raise anything with me but i am starting councilling to work on my own mental health issues so i can stop being like this. I dont want to make him feel this way at all. Im pressing the issue of him going to the doctors and hope he will. I just dont want to make him unhappy. If theres anything i can do to make it better id do it but unfortunately i cant just magic my own MH issues away

My sympathies - this is obviously a difficult situation.

However, I doubt it's your issues alone that are 'making' your DH depressed. It might not help, but it's quite unlikely that you are the sole cause. I think your DH is possibly clinically depressed and looking for a cause when there probably actually isn't one sole cause at all. There can be all sorts of factors (and some depression has no cause at all) and there's very rarely a single thing behind it. It sounds as if your DH is looking for something to latch on to, to avoid facing his own issues (that's not a criticism of him; I think we all do that sometimes).

Well done for starting counselling yourself - that's a big step and takes a lot of courage.

If you can get your DH to see the doctor, that would also be a big step but a really important one.

Best of luck; this must be a really tough time for you.