To have a night out?

[UnicornFleas]

OK, so I may be reading too much into this but...

Me and a friend (female if it matters) are going out to dinner Saturday night. We both have kids but hers are away until early Sunday. We basically plan on having a great night, catching up, having a drink back at hers etc. Because she lives in another city (think half hour away, not far) we figured I'd stay over for ease and not having to rush. Early next morning we're all off out to a big local event with families in tow. My husband knows this, it's not a surprise but seems to have forgotten. His response was "but what about our children?!?!". When I pointed out he'd be here I got "they'll miss you!". Now they will, I get that, but they'll be awake maybe two hours I'm away. I don't think it will traumatise them!

When I said I didn't get the big deal he just got grumpy and told me to forget he said anything. Which I told him I would! Only I can't! Mothers guilt and all, both my DD's are past bottles, although one just about still in nappies.

So, am I really being that unreasonable to want one night out?!?! (I do go out sometimes, maybe once a month but usually come home. He doesn't because he doesn't like to, maybe only once every 6 months he'll bother).

God no, YANBU!! Everyone's allowed a night out and it makes sense for you to stop over there.
Obviously try not to be too hungover to do the family things the next day, but your kids will survive.
I actually think it's really healthy for them to see Mum has a life of her own and Dad is there to look after them, assuming they aren't newborns.

Nope, we're way past the newborn stage! Thank goodness! Neither of us are heavy drinkers, just want to be able to chill, chat and not feel the pressure of time.

His response was so aggrieved it made me wonder. He's great usually, we rarely have issues so I was a bit taken aback!

Are you sure it's the kids who'll miss you? Sounds like it's him! It'll be fine. You'll have a nice night and be more into your family day on Sunday.
I'm a way better mum when I've had a little break.

I've just been on a weekend away and ds is 7 months. He was fine with his dad and they had a great weekend. I was amazed at the number of mums who left early because they said their partners wouldn't cope with an overnight

Is your husband usually so clingy?

Has your dh never had an overnighter since the babies were born? If so that's the only time he can judge.

Yanbu! Go out and enjoy yourself!

I generally go out about once every 6 weeks for cocktails and drinks with the girls, most of the time I come home but every 1 in 3 I don't come back as we live rural and I crash at a friends house to save money on taxis etc and it's easier !!

I always come back morning ish around 11.

I enjoy having me time and I'd be truly pissed off of my partner used but the kids will miss you! I'd say yeah but they can have fun with you can't they! Do a movie night with them or something.

Go out. Enjoy yourself.

YANBU - go and enjoy a guilt free night on the smash.
I wouldn't tease your OP about you getting it on with other men though. he may not like that.

Go and don't look back. It's one night and you deserve it.

Haha! Teasing not likely, it's just the two of us!

And nope, this is the only time he's had both overnight. He had our eldest when I was in hospital with number two. That's it!

I think it will be good for them, and I suspect it's the idea of getting everything together for the outing for them, getting them ready etc that's putting him off. I've had a bit of a revelation recently about that!

Thankfully he was wise enough not to push it although I think he was hoping I'd feel guilty and change my mind. Hence coming on here! Needed to know I wasn't being mean.

Is it the fact that on the following morning you're going to a big family event with other people and THEIR kids rather than your own getting to him?

No, you aren't being mean! Go and enjoy yourself.

Mrsovertheroad - Iv read it as her family is going as well and he needs to get them ready on his own...

I would strongly suspect it's more to do with the fact he has to get everything ready the next morning, all on his own
If I was feeling nice I would probably pre pack any snack bags/picnic and lay out there clothes for the next day... only to save myself the embarrassment of my daughter picking her own outfit that doesn't match with inappropriate footwear and her saying daddy said I could chose my own😂

Yeah I'd already figured that I'll have to pre pack stuff! Either that or he'll forget nappies!

And yes, although overnight it's just me, we're all meeting up at around half nine the next morning en masse with families for an event. So he'll have to get them up! I suspect that's the issue right there!

Op - my partner would be the same, he takes our daughter to school every Thursday and I still have to lay out her uniform and remind him to refill her water bottle lol

Have a nice night and enjoy yourself!! I'm going out next weekend for cocktails and I'm so looking forward to it already.

Of course YANBU, as others have said it's likely that he doesn't want to be responsible for getting them ready in the morning. Personally I wouldn't do it for him before you go, they are his children and it always puzzles me that having possession of a penis somehow makes you incapable of organising what your kids need for a day out. Hope you have a great night

You guys are awesome, my righteous feminist side gets really angry with the "anything for an easy life" side. It baffles me too, he'll say things like "well you always do it so I don't really know what to pack". Surely it's just forward planning? What do we need for what we're doing, now pack that.

I sent him an article on the mental load recently. I don't think he was amused!!