To want to get a job lined up before we leave London?

[forestnest]

DH and I have been talking about leaving London for a few years. He's from the south West but doesn't have much family down there and I'm from the north where my family still live. He earns much more than me but hates work, I find work really fulfilling although would rather stay part-time now DD is here. We have a small mortgage on our house and could buy something amazing up north, especially if we extend the mortgage a bit. We're planning on trying for another baby soon.

We haven't moved before now as I always said I wanted to go back to the same job after mat leave to minimise the number of changes we go through at one time. DD is 1 now and I'm just back at work. I've been looking for new jobs in the North and had an interview in June but didn't get it. DH has been so miserable recently and it's really fed up with commuting. He would like to put the house on the market by the end of the year no matter what, I'd like a job to go to so we know the commute works, so I'm sorted for maternity pay and so we have some way of paying the mortgage. Dh has his own company and could probably find work up north quite easily but I'm struggling with the thought of leaving my career without knowing what I'm going to. I work in the NHS so there are jobs out there, the right one just hasn't come up yet. Aibu? How do people work out what to sort out first - selling current house, job, or new house?

We're doing the same, it was my husband's job that led it as he's the main breadwinner (thanks maternity leave...) and there aren't many opportunities in his field, whereas I can go wherever. Then house went on the market, at the same time we started looking at areas then houses. We've now accepted an offer on our place and have found somewhere to go. I can't bloody wait to get out.

Friends that have done similar have left London but gone out to a commuter town and rented first before buying, which has served them well.

In your position, why not speak to some estate agents, get your London place valued and go from there? The market is meant to be slowing. At least from there you'll know what figures you're playing with and if you could survive for a bit whilst looking for work?

Do you know where up north you want to go? I found it useful to do a few weekend trips to get my head around where we might end up.

I think there's got to be a bit of biting the bullet on this, if you want to do it and it will make your lives better go for it (at least that's what I'm telling myself when I get stressed about the whole thing!)

If you ever want to talk - send me a PM - I'm having similar feelings about the effect leaving will have on my career (although I'll be able to work I'll be missing out on the great opportunities not being in London- so will DH to some extent). I have to weigh up the positives of moving and think about it as something for the whole family. I have to remind myself that having space, good air and being safer for the DCs is currently more important to us all than me having a slightly better job!

Thanks ice cream, that's really helpful advice. I think you're right that there'll always be cons to leaving even though it is the best option for us overall. It just feels really hard not being on the same page about the timescale. Thanks for the offer of a chat, depending on how we go I may well take you up on that!

We're thinking about somewhere in the peak District - my parents are in Sheffield so it would be good to be closer although maybe not too close! I'm looking for jobs in Manchester or Sheffield but the national park is quite big and some areas aren't that easy for commuting.