Or is dh? Party invite.

[finderkeeper]

Mostly posting as I have pmt and am aware it can make me utterly utterly irrational.

We're done a summer party on Saturday.

It's snowballed and we now have about 30 kids and 50 adults coming.

Its the first time I've thrown a party this big and am a little anxious about it. There's a lot to do.

We've also got six families staying, three in the house, three camping.

So dh bumps in to this new local couple this morning he's met a couple of times but I haven't. I'd already asked them to the party (via text) but they declined as it was their daughter's birthday and they were doing a little dinner for her.

Dh calls me telling me he's told them they should come round at about 3 (party starts at 5) and we could have drinks and I could meet them.

I told him he's a silly shit (in slightly nicer words) as obviously we'll be running around doing 5 million things to get ready for this party! I'm BT even imaging when I'm going to squeeze in time to shower and throw some make up on.

Who's being unreasonable? I want dh to tell them it's just not a great time and he should have checked with me first but he's saying that's rude.

And I know there are much larger things to worry about and I'm lucky to have such a problem before anyone tells me similar.

Eeurgh how annoying. You'll just have to delegate more tasks to DH to give you time to get ready.

He is being unreasonable! You have enough on your plate. Sounds like it's going to be a great party.

Relax a bit and get everyone to help you
Have a few drinks and enjoy it

Hi new couple I've just met. I know we're meant to be having cocktails but actually can you help make coleslaw and mop the floor.

That's totally unreasonable of him, he just hasn't thought it through. Been in your shoes, I'm a hostess who likes everything to be just right for my guests and whilst they'd never comment if things weren't, they definitely notice and have a great time when things are. Good luck with your shindig and enjoy!

If you have people staying, you'll be semi-entertaining anyway. They can chat to the others while you pop in and out.

What an eejit!

Tell him - they won't find it rude if he messages now (and arranges another mutually convenient date in the diary) but they willl be mortified and appalled to turn up at 3pm and realise they're in the middle of a domestic/the hostess is in the shower/the relaxed drinks actually means they are actually helping to prep canapés...

If they are nice people they will not turn up at 3. They will realise your DH was being a loon. I would.

In fact - you have their number already if you invited via text, so no need to go through DH at all. Bonus.

"Hi Potential New Mates - DH just told me you might be free to pop over about 3pm on Sat before your DDs do? I would absolutely love to see you but think perhaps another time for a drink might be more relaxed- unless you fancy making coleslaw & chopping crudités for party while we chat, in which case brilliant Sorry to be so rude & take back DHs invite, just know I'll be up to my eyes in last minute prep by then! are you guys free next weekend instead?"

Yeah I'd be pissed about this. You will need to have it all done by three now as you won't know how long they will stay.😔

I would really hate this. Before a party I am getting things ready. My BIL once turned up an hour early for a party, I was no where NEAR ready and it made me so stressed!

This is the sort of annoying but well-meant sort of thing DH would do, and as they are new acquaintances I would probably just buy really nice coleslaw etc instead of making it and go with the 3pm pre-drinks which my DH would insist would be fine. And annoyingly it would be absolutely fine

Is he for real?! I'd kill him. I'd smile slightly manically at him and explain very calmly that you aren't having extra visitors on top of the 80 you are already expecting and that 2 hours out of your prep time isn't happening. And let him sort it .

I suffer sometimes from
OCD and anxiety and have been amazingly (so far) ok with everything.

I text her to cancel with a similar reply to above and she text back that she was going to cancel anyway as she realised we'd be running around like crazy people.

At least some people have some common sense!!

I assume they would also be running around organising things at that time too for their daughters birthday, so were probably relieved to get your message, by the sounds of it.

Enjoy your party, it sounds fab!

Thanks! Now I just need the period from hell to get here a few days early so I'm not a blubbering bloated mess in the corner!

I think what's so annoying about this is that it shows how bloody blind your husband is to the work that goes in to having a whole friggin' party ready by 5 - it clearly did not cross his mind at all. As if he were just a guest who will show up rather than host : "well, I've got a party i'll need to be at at 5, so drinks at 3 would work, yeah."

Anyone who has ever put the slightest modicum of effort into a social gathering would know that plan would not work.

Your DH is completely BU.

Now that it's done, can't you plan to be ready for 3pm instead of 5? You would enjoy your party more if you can sit down and have a nice drink or two with the new couple before the party really starts.
If you had planned to pick up a cake or some supplies between 3 and 5, you can still go (or your DH) whilst the other one stays with your guests.

It will be fine. Try to enjoy yourself as much as your guests!

Glad it's sorted but you need a word with your husband about him agreeing to things without checking with you first!

I hope the party goes well!

Seriously, he's a fucking idiot.

NO ONE is ready 2 hours prior to massive party, and no one would want guests at that time, especially not ones they barely know! Family or close friends, maybe, if they were prepared and willing to pitch in and help - but NO NO NO to random acquaintances.

I'd be so angry. Really, I would.

The 3pm drinks have been cancelled. I'd be passing the husband the mop bucket though.

Sorry, missed update.

Glad that she totally understood the situation but sorry that she now knows your DH is an idiot!

She'd have found out pretty soon anyway.

x-post with the update too, sorry.

However, maybe I am unlucky, but I never plan to do anything at the last minute before a party, or I am guaranteed that one of the kids will: lose the dog (and we spend 1 hour running around the neighbourood to find it), fall off a tree (3 hours at A&E to check no broken bones) , flood the toilets or smash a window whilst playing football outside to get out of my way