I have been with DP for 10 years. Lived together for 8 years. I have a son, he has 4 kids and the ex from hell. There are been a variety of changes of custodial agreements, incredibly stressful court cases, huge rows etc with his kids but I have looked after 2 kids full time with no support from anyone including their other parents, but DP, and 3 a third of the time and they have lived with their Mother the rest of the time. I don't want any medals and I chose to live with DP, although we moved in with different arrangements than we currently have. I work full time, am studying to better myself, have re-mortgaged and bought a new property to let out to ensure I have a decent income so I have never had to rely on DP financially - ever.
Neither maternal or paternal grandparents of DP kids have ever even offered to have kids for dinner (they live next door) or take them out, DP and I have just got on with it.
I get on well with DP Dad and step Mum (DP's Mum died before I met him), albeit in a slightly distant way. They do however, make sarcastic comments because I have a cleaner for an hour a week and DP washes up. I think they think I should do everything - which apart from those two things I do!
I have yesterday been told that DP's Dad and step Mum want to put a property into the names of DP, DP's sister and DP's step brother. Aside from the tax implications, which they are unaware of, and I suspect it won't happen for this reason, this is fine with me. However, they don't want to just put it into the name of the "kids", they want to include DP's sister's husband and DP's step brother's wife. DP was told that I am to be excluded as we aren't married.
I really don't want or need their money but it feels like a deliberate snub for no good reason - just put it in the "kids" names and exclude all husbands / wives / partners and let them choose how they want to spend their money. I suspect the wills have been set up like this too. They apparently haven't thought through that the husband / wife could leave and a divorce settlement could cause all sorts of problems.
I wouldn't mind but I do their tax returns for them every year as a favour. Are they going to want me to sort all this out for them?! I won't do it but it wouldn't surprise me if they asked!