Or is this my lot in life now??

[anotherbadusername]

Split up with DH a few months ago. Things are starting to settle down a bit so I thought great - I might start trying to meet other men.

2 weeks ago a friend of mine told me that he was in love with me and that he was planning on splitting up with his girlfriend. My response was: fine, if you are in love with me, sort things out with your girlfriend and then I would love to go out with you (in a bad move I did kiss him).

I didn't hear anything from him until a few days ago when he said in a message "you're the love of my life but I need the stability of my girlfriend". I flipped and sent it back to him telling him that I wasn't going to have sex with him. His girlfriend picked it up (I knew she would be around) and the whole thing blew open. Immediately he replied saying that he "wanted to end this now". AFAIC we were never really on in the first place and it is bloody obvious he was only after a shag. She has forgiven him for his shitty behaviour (Why any self respecting woman would do that I don't know?)

I just need to know that there is hope and hear that there are men out there that are decent, kind and honest. Please tell me there are!

There certainly are nice, kind, amusing, honest men out there. In time you will meet them and find the one who is right for you.

In the meantime, the idea of a newly single woman is enough to make some men get odd ideas. I think they think you've been used to regular sex, are now missing it and will have sex with them with no strings, or after they spin you some sort of pathetic line. I seem to remember that when various couples of my acquaintance broke up, the women had to fend off advances from men in their social crowd. Often, a friend's husband or boyfriend would move in for a clinch after offering a lift home. Always seemed a strange phenomenon, and I heard about it more than once with different groups of couples I knew.

How gross. At least now I know how I feel about affairs (I always thought I would be forgiving but clearly not).

You seem to see yourself as an innocent party.

Decent people attract decent people. Honestly, I think you may need to resign yourself ...

Sounds like the only innocent person was the person who was dragged into all this: The girlfriend which he dragged into the equation by cheating on her with you and you for texting him about sex when you knew she would be there to read it. Poor her.

Your post reads like you've edited out a fair bit of your own behaviour.

I don't think you come over particularly well in this scenario either to be honest.

There are good men, who deserve good women.

Your only pissed of because he didn't leave her for you.
He must of thought you would be up for no strings sex.