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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Family Dilemma - Caught in the Middle!

4 replies

Icecreamlover63 · 22/08/2017 18:04

Hi Everyone,
My sister is lovely works hard and her husband is so nice and is highly regarded and loved by all. So where is the problem?
Well here it is. Try as they might they just do not like their Sons partner. He came home from holiday this week and announced he is engaged and my sister bless her tried so hard but didn't look convinced. She really was lovely bought a card asked about the holiday looked at the ring. It was all to no avail. My brother in law was also very nice too. However off went my nephew in a huff back home. On the next day my brother in law phoned and asked if everything was ok and explaianed that whatever happened it was his choice and him and my sister would have to accept this engagement. However everyone is entitled to an opinion, it doesnt mean it is right or wrong. He has been so lovely to my nephew giving him money for a deposit for a house that they have bought going up to the house and putting in all sorts of fixtures for them. However he is very sad as it is rare that any phone calls come his way. After the money was given to my nephew neither my BIL or my sister got a call fo over three weeks.

Today my sister is so upset as my nephew is not returning her calls, how do i advise her. She is sitting in my front room so torn. On one hand she has tried with all of her might to like this girl . I have never ever had this situation as i only have one child and we get on. Not all the time but we do get on. Please help a sister (me) who is being asked what to do but it lost.

OP posts:
RhiWrites · 22/08/2017 18:09

Maybe ask her how she would feel if she knew her parents disliked her partner. Whatever her reasons that must be upsetting to her son.

The money and visits are all justifications for how she feels. But her son will have his own side to those experiences. Right now she seems to have communicated her "own opinion" that she's not happy with his choice, however polite she's been, that's why he's not communicating. What can he say?

TheClacksAreDown · 22/08/2017 18:13

I bet your nephew would tell a different tale.

Why don't they like his partner? How do they show this?

Icecreamlover63 · 22/08/2017 18:14

I agree.. I think a little time is what is needed here. However you know she feels so bad but i do agree that she cannot change how she feels and believe you me she has tried.

I have also told her that any relationship is a two way thing and this girl really hasn't tried either.

I have just said the above but do not want to say too much as i just feel so akward. On the one hand i genuinly feel for my sister and BIL as they are such lovely people and on the other hand i feel for my nephew. Either way i can't help feeling im being drawn into something i would rather not.

OP posts:
Icecreamlover63 · 22/08/2017 18:18

TheClacksAreDown
I have only met her a few times and TBH she is very sullen. Moody, has had lots of money troubles in the past, is always ill. I felt sorry for her at first but she is , always, ill. She is always crying out for attention. My nephew is a good lad and is very even tempered, he is a people pleaser. I have an opinion but i will not tell my sister, i'm leaving her to the TV. She thinks i'm answering work emails!!!!

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