Should I have challenged this mum at the park or was I right to apologise?

[cardboardboxx]

At the local park today with ds6 and dd4. My 3 year old niece was with us too. There's a medium sized tunnel slide and my niece followed another child (about 5 years old) straight down the slide. I had already said to my own two to go down with her.

Anyway, they must've got a bit stuck and the 5 year olds mum shot up the slide shouting at my children for following her down. The child had shorts on so may have got a bit of friction burn going down although nothing was visible. When they came out of the slide the mum said things like 'why did you come down, why didnt you wait, why are you pushing her?' At this point I apologised to the mum who ignored me. I then said to my children that they should always wait till the other children get to the bottom and to say sorry which they did. I then said to the mum that I'm sorry it had happened and that they were just following my niece down because it was her first time. (If they sit with their legs open they can slide down together) she then said thank you for saying sorry but continued ranting to her friend, at which point at walked away.

I hate confrontation and just wanted to get away but part of me feel a like i should've said that they weren't doing it to be mean as we go there all the time and there has never been an incident. It was a busy day and people saw her shouting so I just wanted to get away!

Oh I should add that the child didn't seem to be distressed in any way

You modelled - to your children - politeness in the face of confrontation, and forgiveness when you felt unfairly judged. You have done a great thing. Whatever else you did with your children that day, you have taught them something valuable in that one interaction. (The other mum was probably frazzled and got things out of proportion, as we all have done at times).

This happened because it was muddy as to WHO was in charge of your niece.

You told your two to follow her...meaning you were taking care of her.

Perhaps you shouldn't have?

Leave it to her Grandma or don't...one or the other.

But didn't you notice another child was going first? I would have made mine aware that they needed to wait.

My niece wasn't in my care so I didn't tell her what to do?

There's no point dwelling on it now, and I think you handled frazzled mum perfectly by the way, but the above comment has got me puzzled. You have since stated grandma was caring for niece so therefore you didn't tell her what to do. But you are her Auntie, and surely if she was about to do something dangerous or wrong, you are well within your right to correct her whether you are officially looking after her for the trip to the park, or not?

Yes her reaction sounds OTT - I would not be happy with her shouting at my children and you would have been perfectly reasonable to challenge her on that whilst at the same time apologising. However, I would dwell on it. Not sure why you can't tell your niece what to do. I tell complete strangers children to wait / not climb up slides etc if no one else is and they are going to bash into mine.

I assume you were by the slide, a simple make sure the other child is at the bottom before you go to your niece would have solved it all. I find it odd you didn't say that (I would happily calmly remind even a child I did not know that it's a safety rule)

That changes things as it means you watched it happen and caused 3 child to barrel into someone on a tunnel slide, no wonder she got upset.

The kid you were responsible for hurt hers, why would YOU challenge HER?

She's just watched three children smash into her child who was using the slide correctly, I'm assuming she was worried that her child had been hurt. You were right to apologise. My girl is nearly 5 and I still always stand next to the slide and call out when the bottom of the tube slide is clear so that she doesn't hurt anyone.