To think this is the most fucked up system in the world?

[Humbugington]

Basically im a single parent to dd who is 6 months old. Im 25 and have always worked full time (doing various jobs) since 16. I get no cms off dd's dad (that could be a whole new thread so wont go into details). I was living with my parents as rents were expensive etc. Ive now moved out as of the middle of this month, private rent just me and dd.
If i go back to work on the 1st september like I had been planning, three full days/22 hours a week by the time i get my wages and tax credits but have paid my (very reasonable) rent dd's nursery and other bills not including food i would have about £180 a month to buy all food clothes days out etc.
Went to see a benefits advisor today as i was worried to be told that if i dont go back to work (no nursery and less petrol but other bills would be the same) i would have £400 a month to cover food etc after bills as stated before.

Am i wrong in thinking that is a load fucking bollocks?? I know you should be thankful for all you get and i really am but on what planet should it better to stay at home and do nothing? I thought this is what we were meant to be stopping and encouraging people back to work not making it finicially unviable to do so

Just remember that you won't always have a small child & be paying the same nursery costs. That will fall as she gets older. Staying in your jobs means you will find it easier to get another job/increase your hours in future. Your income will probably rise as your child care costs fall. Not working will mean you'll continue to be on the same income & your chances of getting another, possibly better, job will decrease. You need to take a longer term view.

The system is rubbish- if it wasn't for my family and ex's parents there is no way I could work and I have a mortgage so I'm entitled to pretty much nothing.

I wouldn't be counting too much on child care costs dropping etc as they get older - they do on one level but (unless you only work during school hours and term time or have more than the standard 5.6 weeks holiday a year...) and where I live at least, it is much harder to find suitable chilcare - things like holiday cover for full days is almost impossible to find. You end up paying a fortune or taking unpaid leave (if you can )
(I know someone who had to resort to sending their DC to a 'summer camp' for a couple of weeks during the summer - cost the best part of £1k for 2 weeks...plus the cost of other childcare clubs etc for the rest of the holidays )
Also as they get older children cost more to feed and clothe...

And the system has been flawed for years. Almost 30 yrs ago I was seriously ill and ended up needing to retrain. Whilst studying I signed on as a safety net - I was working several part time jobs but none of them were guaranteed hours.
That was when I ran into this irritation - I was eligible for unemployment benefit not income support becasue I had 'contributed' a certain amount. They had different rules around hours you could work and how they took into consideration what you had earned.
As it was I always managed to earn enough without needing any benefit money but if I had been short of hours and needed the support I would have been better off on income support...better off if I hadn't contributed in the past - and I had no choice about it.
In fact when it came to exam time I wanted to reduce my hours for a month to give me time to revise etc. The guy in the job centre told me to just stop working all together...if I worked more than x hours a week I would be ineligible, even though with my hourly rate that was less than I would have got on benefits...if I had been on income support I wouldnt have had the same problem...

I don't agree that childcare for school ages children is that high. There is a 9-5 camp near me for £18 a day and even the very expensive camps which are 8-6 and have much more exciting activities tend to be about £150 a week. Yep it's a lot of money but you only use annual leave during school holidays so cover as much as you can yourself and then pay for camps for the remaining weeks.

I have 2 nursery age and 2 school age kids and yes it's a fortune to have them in childcare and there's not much left at the end of the months but I keep working because one day when they are all in school we will have spare money again.

On the other hand if being a sahm suits you then it's the system that is screwed and you might as well use it to your advantage because once you are back at work your tax will be paying for others to use the system.

The system is fucked, I agree but best to think of the longer term prospects of being in work. Your dc won't always be in need of childcare - though wrap-around care will present other nightmares come school age.
I also agree that the government doesn't want to foot the bill for childcare - cheaper for parents of young dc to be at home.

Once children reach school age, child care costs drop hugely! I completely agree that the logistics can be more tricky, because at least at pre school age, you drop them off at nursery and they're in the same place all day. But the costs aren't nearly as much- when mine were in nursery I paid full rate 51 weeks a year, whether I was using it or not. IME the only people who complain about the cost of wraparound care are people who didn't work until their kids were in school - and I agree it probably does come as quite a shock then. Everyone I know who worked with pre schoolers breathed a sigh of really when it drops to only before/ after school and holiday care! And even if your August bill is more than you earn during that month, it's balanced out by cheaper months. You're basically getting around 6 or 7 hours each day they're in school for no cost.

I'm sure we'll see even more reining in of tax credits and other benefits in the coming decade so it's worth thinking about what your expectations are going to be longer term.... will you want to buy a home at some point? Will you want to ever have a Better standard of living than being reliant on benefits?

babbity Actually I had my DD1 in ft nursery from 3 months to starting school....granted 10+ yrs ago - I do know it isn't cheap...
I actually became a SAHM just after she started school (and went on to have DD2) -and childcare was a big factor in that decision.
My job was basically full time or nothing...and I knew no one locally (relocated 400 miles and within 6 months got pregnant by accident) , family 300 miles away and DP working 90+hr week - with 2 weeks holiday a year (self employed).
I agree the biggest problem was the logisitcs - going from somewhere open 7am - 6pm, 5 days a week, 51 weeks a year to school hours/holidays and childcare to fit around that (I didn't have DD in that length of time but I really did appreciate the flexibility)
I guess it really depends on what facilities you have around you. Here it isn't that great...
Holiday childcare - we have a couple of hoiliday clubs that run for a week from 10am-3pm. They are generally only £100 or so a week - but you have to go in late and leave early...if you can (the after school club doesn't run during the holidays).
(You could share this with a partner - if they were around but I couldn't - and OP is a single mum.)
Childminders - around here most have school age children and close for at least 6 weeks a year plus in service days etc. (My CM closed 8 weeks...)
If you have to take unpaid holiday - you aren't paying anything out but it is costing you. If you get paid less for working short days - the same...

In fact my friend - who I met later and had been in a similar position - the one who paid the £1k for 2 weeks - had had their DC with a CM (and fell out with them after 4 years of this). My friend went on 3 weeks holiday in the summer ...every year once my friend had said when she was away -the CM announced her 2 week holiday started the week they got back or the 2 weeks before they went etc. So friend had to pay full price for 3 weeks of full days they were away and then 50% retaining fee for the 2 weeks CM was away and find and pay for alternative childcare for that period. (The CM also did the same with 2 week hols - if my friend was going away - the CM was away the following week...) And we don't have that many CMs around and they know each other - so not much choice/space...and they don't step on each other toes...and there is a waiting list for the afterschool club...
But like I said it really will depend on what you have in your area...

I agree with PPs that if you can find a way to make it work then it is the best thing long term.

This is a dilemma faced by many people returning to work including those with 2 incomes and not receiving tax credits. At one point I was literally working to pay for childcare. The effort involved in dragging everyone out early in the morning and the exhaustion from rushing around trying to keep it all together almost finished me. However, once they were at school it got easier and I know now it was the right thing to do.