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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How would you respond to a driver honking at you and your toddler for not crossing fast enough?

69 replies

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 22/08/2017 09:21

I am fairly sure I am not BU but I am also not sure how to handle this.

On the way to/from DD nursery, there is a junction where the green man takes a little while to come on. It is just a random quirk. So you push the button, the light goes red for cars, and then there is a gap of maybe four or five seconds before the green man comes. It is just a bit longer than the averahe time lag between red light for cars/ green man on.

Obviously, as I am with DD who is 2, I wait for the green man.

Twice in the last week, drivers have started blaring their horns at us, gesturing impatiently. I don't get it, as the light has only just turned red for them, so it is not like if we sprinted across they could get going again any faster.

But more importantly I don't know if I should react. DD jumped out of her skin yesterday evening when it happened - as well she might, with a car blaring its horn not ten feet from her! I just frowned at the driver and gestured to the red man which was still showing, but I really wanted to shout something unprintable at her.

Wwyd if a driver behaved like this?

OP posts:
PovertyPain · 22/08/2017 10:01

Go over, knock their window and act delighted to see them. Start talking about how pleased you are to see them, and you wouldn't even have recognised them if they hadn't tooted at you. Confuse the fuck out of them. 😁

BellaNoche · 22/08/2017 10:01

Take a picture of the index plate ... and driver if poss...(yes I know you are in the middle of the crossing so it may not be possible)

I did it to a car parked on pavement so I had to go in the main road with toddler and a baby in a pram. Total meltdown from car owner..

YellowLawn · 22/08/2017 10:02

I aould go even slowe and take a photo of the cars registration.

Wornoutbear · 22/08/2017 10:04

Blow kisses at them, smile, wave and point!

mummmy2017 · 22/08/2017 10:05

Make it a game with your child, ask the child do you think we will get pipped today, then say pip pip to each car as you walk to a crossing, this way the child will be aware it may happen.
Nope don't cross till the light goes green, why should you, and yes wave thank you to the driver, your child will love the waving.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 22/08/2017 10:06

Pretend you recognise them, both of you smile & wave frantically...in a very demented way. That'll embarrass or confuse them 😂

Fuckwits. Like you say, it's not like they can go sooner if you go sooner anyway. Idiots.

FuckYouLinda · 22/08/2017 10:07

This is where you employ Performance Parenting nice and loudly. "Now DD, do you see the green man yet? What do we do when the green man shows? Clever girl!! Ooh look, is that a worm? Where do worms live DD? Wave to the nice Man in the car. Look at how nicely he's waiting his turn on the road!"

With your biggest shit-eating grin.

Finish with a finger behind your back when you are passed him.

MammaTJ · 22/08/2017 10:07

I would stop right in front of them and check DDs shoes, kneel down to do it, then take a while to get back up!

That is the sweetest form of revenge for someone in a hurry!

Neutrogena · 22/08/2017 10:13

Don't do anything to antagonize the drivers. Just wait for the green man and cross and then explain to your kid why you do what you do.

Neverknowing · 22/08/2017 10:22

Stand in the road for longer.
If people speed around the corner and rev their engines at me on a zebra crossing I just wait in the middle of the road for a good ten seconds, then carry on. Don't be a dick. It's not hard.

SaucyJack · 22/08/2017 10:22

Are they doing it while the man is still red? TBF they probably don't realise that it's a dud light.

Point at it first and shake your head so they know it isn't you who can't be trusted to be out in public without a grown-up.
And then give them the finger.

Auldspinster · 22/08/2017 10:22

Middle finger for me.

Spikeyball · 22/08/2017 10:31

It's best to completely ignore them and take your own sweet time. In reality I would point to the light and mouth "fuck off".

Viserion · 22/08/2017 10:32

What Poverty pain said.
Go over to them, ask if you know them, can't think where from though. Or ask them if you dropped something, can they point it out.

OliviaStabler · 22/08/2017 10:33

I just give them the 'Fuck off" stare.

RinonaWyder · 22/08/2017 10:34

I've read that you should give a thumbs down instead of the finger, as it makes them think about what they've done and why they were wrong! Dunno how true that is though.

grannytomine · 22/08/2017 10:36

This reminded me of an incident when my son was 3. He broke his leg and I had him screaming in the back on the car with his 5 year old brother also distressed. I had quite a narrow driveway and someone was parked opposite which made it really hard to get out even without distressed children stressing me out.

Well a middle aged guy pulled up and didn't think I was moving fast enough so started blasting his horn which just made it all worse. He was an actor, can't remember his name but he was quite well known at the time. Anyway I got out of the car and walked over and handed him the keys and told him if he was so clever he could get in my car, cope with the kids and do it all faster. He got quite flustered, handed me back the keys and closed his window.

Maybe walk over and ask what the problem is? Slow them down even more and perhaps remind them that sounding your horn in a stationary car is an offence?

Ttbb · 22/08/2017 10:36

I always ignore this kind of thing no of thing when I am with the children for fear of escalation. When alone however the snooty death glare usually works a treat. Whithering retorts also work if there are plenty of people around.

grannytomine · 22/08/2017 10:40

I did it to a car parked on pavement so I had to go in the main road with toddler and a baby in a pram. Total meltdown from car owner. We did this with a mum who always parks on a bend at school collection time. We stopped and took a photo, performance photography, and she came over and said what was going on. DH said, "I'm keeping it for evidence for when you cause an accident, you know to show it isn't a one off."

She didn't look happy and we were told her DH is a local well known drug dealer and people are frightened to confront her. No thugs at the door yet.

MelsMam · 22/08/2017 10:41

Wave and smile at the dipshits.

Goldenhandshake · 22/08/2017 10:47

This has happened and I have stopped in front of their car and turned my head to look at them in disbelief, with e perfect 'wtf' expression. Pisses them off even more. I do not hurry along

chocolateworshipper · 22/08/2017 10:56

Totally ignore, then do pretend sign-language to DD as you cross.

ASDismynormality · 22/08/2017 10:57

I'd walk really slowly!

Original poster
JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 22/08/2017 10:57

Saucy they probably don't realise it is an odd light but then again, the road they are on only leads to the next village so chances are they are local. Also there are ways to do it - a tradesman once stuck his head out his van window and said, Oh love I think that light's broken, go on and cross.

That is fine - honking at a 2yo not so much!

OP posts:
CatsPurr · 22/08/2017 11:02

There are a few options there OP! The drivers are very unreasonable.

My current fave thing to do, to avoid swearing infront of the kids, is joint point. Nice strong, straight arm and finger and deadpan face and just point. Its funny watching reactions, people look confused or unsettled Grin teach you dd to do the same Grin