WIBU to cancel childcare?

[JesusDontWantMeForASunbeam]

I'm prepared for a flaming but here goes:

I'm a childminder and have my friends preschooler full time and her older DC in holidays.
First week of the holidays was fine- all paid up. Second week was paid on two parts- 1 at end of week and 1 at start. Slightly inconvenient but doable.
The next week the dcs were off on the Monday fees are due. Text my friend at lunchtime asking her to let me know please when fees were paid in to my account. 4 hours later I get a text saying she can't afford them. I replied that I couldn't provide care without fees as the fees cover the DCs food, trips etc. They didn't show up for that week. I text her on the Friday as I felt bad saying that if she paid a contribution each week until her money was sorted then they could come.

She paid £50 on the Monday and that was it. Fees are £300 ish. I emailed on the Wednesday stating what was outstanding e.g 2 weeks fees minus £50 and what was due (1 week half fees as they are away this week). As well as stating that a payment needs to be made every week to bring it up to date by end of September. No response to my email.
No fees have been paid today. I've messaged her asking but it's sat on delivered not read yet she's been online off and on all day.

WIBU to just email again stating that unless everything is up to date by Friday then I will be cancelling the contract and going down the legal route to recover monies owed? I'm pissed off at having to chase money. There's been no apology at all over lateness of fees or even the fact that they haven't been paid and she's ignoring any messages to do with them.

Apologies as it's long. I'm just torn between knowing what it's like when you're strapped for cash and feeling like a mug as she's done this to every childcare provider she's ever had.

dear ,
i have came to a decision that i can not take until all fees that are due are paid, i am advertising the space at the moment due to needing the funds myself as i provide all trips and food, snacks etc. i am starting to find myself in a difficult situation. if fees are not paid in full by friday i have no option but to cancel contract and seek legal advice to recover the money.
thanks

why not start asking for fees a week in advance?

She is probably playing a bit on your good nature -knowing that you have been taking them without the fees being full paid.
Cut your losses now. If she hasn't paid in full by the end of the day- no more childcare.

Email above sounds fine, but also remember you're struggling with it because she is your friend. You need to write it like she isn't and it will be easier - hope it works for you and in future it may be best to ask her for the money in advance because she should be making sure she has money to pay for services and she obviously isn't doing so

I would follow the terms of your contract for non-payment of fees (i.e. Give her whatever notice period is required etc to terminate the contract). Any backlog of fees to be paid by (18/9) or court action will be taken.

That would honour what you have already agreed with her.

Not quite the same, as we look after dogs not children, but definitely cut your losses. You are not a social worker, you are providing a commercial service.

Presumably you had her sign a contract. Use that to enforce what you do with non-payment of fees.

Go through your insurance company to get what she owes you back. Don't take her daughter full time! At the very least, ask for payment in advance.

My contracts says no care if there is no payment made in advance by 1st of the month for that month.

Hmm difficult position however speaking from experience you need to stop having the children and go the legal route but before giving notice I would speak to your insurance provider as they will be able to advise you better than any of us as we don't know anything about your contract or what agreements you have. As you know you live and learn and in this business you need a backbone as this won't be the last time you are faced with this type of dilemma.
In future take fees in advance I know it's difficult to be assertive and the wanting to be helpful but you have to remember your family comes first. Not sure on what type of contract you use but make sure you fully understand it as I find some to be quite confusing hence using my own as then I know exactly what's in it. Honestly the stress you are feeling now will be gone once you terminate this contract and move on to a new family although I would say this friendship is over as the waters have become too muddy so don't take on friends on the future. Good luck in getting your outstanding fees back but be prepared to write them off with the friendship.

I'm not a childminder so I am afraid I don't have first hand experience of this. But, fwiw, I think you should refuse to have her children if she's not even paying the full week's fees plus her payment towards the arrears.
For the person who suggested you should 'let it go' - why? It's not the same as a couple of hours between friends, this is OK's living. Just letting it go is going to cost her a few hundred pounds a week - I don't know many people, however generous, who could afford to give their friends several hundred pounds.

I pay a month in advance with my CM.

I agree you may need to write the fees off. The children sadly are not your problem. You require payment for providing a service or you cannot provide the service.

I am useless at wording things though so hopefully someone will come along and help you with that.

I'm going to phone my insurance company. It's £970 she now owes then that will increase by £175 a week with the full time fees. She's never going to be able to pay it realistically. Lesson learnt: don't mix business and friendship.

YANBU, good luck getting your money back, so many people think if you work from home or for yourself that you can be treated
like your time isn't worth anything and that is so wrong, got my fingers crossed for you xx

I would let it go, surely if you weren't a childminder you would mind friends children for free?
WTF? Are you on glue?

OP, why on earth are her kids with you today when she owes you nearly a grand in unpaid fees?

Agree that there is no way in hell you're going to see that money from her. Stop accepting the girls as from tomorrow.

Banana the reason is it's stressful I once had a parent owing roughly the same amount only she claimed that the job centre would be paying me as it was a scheme through them turns out there was no such scheme even though I rang the JC multiple times to confirm things they wouldn't talk to me as I was not one of they're clients. After the first month I gave notice and decided to google the parent who turned out to be a right scroat had been done for fraud previously and was now not working as I'd given notice now if I'd gone through court yes I'd have gotten my money back but I'd have lost my sanity as it would've been such a minimal payment it would've taken her a good couple of years to pay back so I chalked it up to experience toughened up and moved on.

Sorry to be blunt, but you sound far too kind for your own good. You know that you won't see any money from this woman until you go to court. It sounds like your friend will lose her job without childcare and go back on benefits soon which means a ccj won't get you much money repaid. Don't let her build up any more arrears with you. It's better you stop this arrangement immediately and find someone who pays you regularly.

Right now there's zero consequences for her not paying because you're still having the children for free, in fact at your own cost.

Stop providing any childcare for her. Refuse to provide any in the future until she's paid for the care she's had this summer AND in advance for the care she wants before she has it.

I do feel sorry for the children, but not their feckless parents.

And yes, take her to small claims court, she won't pay anything otherwise.

And I'm the future make sure you take at least a deposit from clients, preferably payment in full in advance

Presume she has a job and that's why you e the kids ? Do you know when her payday us ?

I agree - enforce the contract

Dear x

OVER DUE fees £970 O/S as of Date

With effect from X date I will no longer be available to look after your children due to non payment of fees.

The contract clearly states that fee must be paid on Monday for the week ahead.

I have already issued you with notice to pay fee in full by 18th September when court proceedings will be issued to reclaim outstanding debt.

The debt is made up of

Week £
Week £

Please find alternative childcare arrangements

Yours

She gets paid Friday (my friend works for the same company as her). She's said she'll pay £50 Friday and more if she can as her DD needs school uniform. As did my DCs yet thankfully my DM helped me.
She's been away all last week posting photos and statuses about being on the piss yet owes me nearly a grand

Spoke to my insurance company. Even if she's making payments I can treat them as payments on account and take her to court in 17 days for whatever is left.

She's not your friend. Don't have the kids again. Any of them.

OP it's a horrible lesson to learn, but don't ever have your friends' children again. Even if you think they'd never do anything like this.

In the future it's worth taking a strictly in advance approach to payment. My dh is s childminder and as soon as you give an inch folk take a bloody mile.

It's your income to support your family. You have to toughen up, hard as it is. You also have to be very firm with new folk ime - when a client who had been with us for 3 years got messed up by tax credits we knew she was straight and were happy to give her some leeway. On the other hand we've had folk who haven't even started yet arguing about paying in advance.

Withdrawing care is a reasonable approach

Don't have her kids. She will never pay you if she can help it

Thanks everyone. She's made me feel like a mug but I'm going to email later stating that due to attitude and non payment I will be cancelling the contract.