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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be disappointed?

32 replies

bertiesgal · 21/08/2017 22:40

DD is the first of four and we're still learning the ropes of parenthood. She has just turned 7. We have recently moved house and we were delighted to find that our new neighbourhood which is minutes from our old has way more kids.

DD has spent the summer months playing out on the street and making friends just like I did at the same age.

Tonight she can't sleep because one of the girls has been showing everyone horror movies in her bedroom. Our kids don't have devices or TVs in their bedrooms. They have plenty of access to tv in the house but never unsupervised.

I'm disappointed that DD has been exposed to something that would frankly terrify me. I feel guilty that we let this happen but at the same time we want her to have some freedom.

AIBU to hope that the parents of 7/8 year olds have a vague handle on what their kids are watching under their roof?

Prepares to have arse handed to me on a plate.

I'm British so I won't confront the parents,
I will just secretly rage while teaching DD coping mechanisms (like leaving the hall light on and asking her what nana would do-nana has dementia and is always completely direct-DD thinks nana would tell the scary doll with no eyes to put on a scarf as it will catch a chill Hmm).

I'm fucking raging and I feel guilty for entrrusting my PFB to the poor judgement of other parents....

OP posts:
Silverdream · 22/08/2017 12:11

I agree with you. Some battles won't be won and could escalate to WW3 for no reason.

Great advice about special effects films on YouTube.

Also you could make films at home. One films on their phone. Another dresses as a ghost and shouts boo at others while they act scared.

I had a similar situation many years ago. It's not great.

PoorYorick · 22/08/2017 12:17

In addition to other advice, if you can find videos of the actors in interviews it might reinforce the understanding that none of it actually happened and everyone was just playing and is fine.

Zaphodsotherhead · 22/08/2017 12:21

My youngest daughter (of the five) used to be told scary stories by her older brothers and sisters. She'd be scared at the time, but is now the most resilient of all of them.

So it may actually help your DD, OP. I recommend, as PP's said, showing her videos of actors acting and make up, and maybe talk about the 'art' of story telling and building tension to make things scary. This is what I did with DD, and she's now an actress!

bertiesgal · 22/08/2017 12:22

I just want to say that on the whole you've all not just been lovely but you have also offered me some really good practical advice. Mumsnet for the win!

I think DD and I will have some fun with dressing up and YouTube stuff.

I'm really pleased she was able to tell me and she slept all night once the hall light was on.

Hopefully it will help me get over my fear of horror movies too Grin

OP posts:
Neutrogena · 22/08/2017 12:30

I'm glad you found out about it.
I watched Nightmare on Elm Street whilst at primary school and it gave me nightmares for years. I never told me mum and dad (and wish I had)

Cavender · 22/08/2017 12:39

Bertie if you aren't prepared to discuss this with the other Mum then the only behaviour you can control is your daughter's.

I'd be discussing with her how to handle a situation like this in future:

*What to say to challenge the film being put on in the first place.

*How to excuse herself and remove herself from the house.

*How to discuss it with the other child later.

I understand not wanting to approach a difficult parent but I suspect you'll end up in confrontation anyway. If your DD has been playing in and out of this other girl's house all summer and now "isn't allowed" it's going to be noticeable.

bertiesgal · 22/08/2017 12:52

She will still be allowed to play with her but we have told DD that if there is any hint of horror movie stuff to say

"my mummy and daddy have said that I'm not allowed to watch things like this, I'll need to go home".

DD says that she would do this now anyway as she doesn't want to watch anything scary. I'm pretty chilled out but other mum isn't and she is already not talking to another mum on the street. If I can avoid that scenario I will try my best.

We had a horrible time when we moved into our first flat and had a completely crazy neighbour. That whole experience has definitely coloured my approach to dealing with neighbours.

I'm hoping that this blows over and I can vent my frustration on mumsnet instead. I actually feel a lot more relaxed about it now and I'm sure my kids will get up to stuff without my knowledge as time goes by.

This thread has really helped me to put everything in perspective. My aim is to equip DD with coping techniques and calm the fuck down about my PFB Blush

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