To think this is a midlife crisis

[Purplesky2]

I'm 38 - I have 3 dc 9, 8 and 6 and I work part time. I think I'm having a crisis or am depressed. I have felt tearful a lot in the last month and worried already about the future and the kids leaving home, feeling empty and useless. I'm not sure what has started it; whether it is the growing independence of the kids or the end of another school year. I can easily go full time in my job (nurse) or change it in a different direction or study more but the future is scaring me and it is years away. I have friends from uni, from work and school mums. Is this a normal type of feeling? I was thinking about seeing GP or something as I feel on the verge of tears a lot and am missing out because of it but mate this is a normal phase in life. I had my children relatively early so a lot of my friends are still in the throes of toddlers so think I'm barmy!!

We have 1 DC(10) and I am a bit older (45), but I know where you are coming from.

Perhaps it is partly just the stress of getting through the summer 'holiday' and you will feel a bit better come the start of term and some routines?

Hi OP,

I'm having a funny time right now.

Recently moved house, new job with lots of responsibility, youngest DTs just turned 2.

We'd always planned to spread having the kids out over 10 years but it happened in 4 .

The twins are a nightmare right now so on the one hand I'm wishing it away and on the other hand and I'm heartbroken that my baby years are over.

I feel genuinely pained when I look at pregnant women/ newborns.

I'm not depressed as 90% of the time I'm happy but 10% of the time I'm teary or angry. I think it's just a transitional phase but I am generally very positive and optimistic so I don't like it.

I'll watch with interest. If my tubes weren't tied I'd be pestering DH for one more (and he'd run a mile 😂).

Here's to the next chapter ...

Should point out that we have 4 kids so I've not been deprived of babies by any stretch!

I've just turned 40 and have a 2 yo (and 6 yo) and I feel very teary at times and very detached with it all at other times.

I wondered if I was depressed or just burnt out.

It's certainly a funny feeling/time. I know what you mean about another baby but that isn't happening. It is like a detached type of feeling. I haven't felt happy for a while and I was crying at all sorts of random things last week. I feel like machine.

I've become more cynical.

Approaching autumn/winter I'm normally excited about making Halloween/Christmas etc fun for the kids and this year I'm just thinking "same shit every year, what's the point?". Totally unlike me and not sustainable as I have at least 5 years of excited children ahead of me.

No idea where the negativity is coming from-maybe to do with the fact I started having the kids in my 20s so I'm only 34 and some of my friends are just getting married/starting their families?

Or maybe it's just because life is so relentlessly busy at the moment?

Detached is how I feel but I don't want to be!

I'm a similar age and feel a sense of panic at times about time just slipping away but then going so slowly too. And I spend quite a few days on the verge of tears. Often I feel detached and going through the motions. I keep second guessing all our major life decisions. I just put it down to getting a little bit older, being exhausted and a low level depression that's definitely worsened by my hormones.
But it's worrying that you say you haven't felt happy in a while. It wouldn't hurt to go and have a chat with your doctor and see what they recommend.

Watching with interest OP, I'm within a couple of years of you, DC woth growing independence and I feel like I've lost direction.
No practical advice but I do understand

*with

Purple please see the GP. I don;t think it is a midlife crisis or that you have realistically got to the stage of exploring when your kids leave home.

I think you are a bit depressed, and that may be normal if you are tired, or not feeling fulfilled etc or whatever.

Talk to GP. Good luck.

I think I will do as I'm now just crying for no reason.