Boyfriends step dad,

[mostgirls]

It's safe to say he really gets on my nerves. Had a visit from them today everytime I see him I say hiya etc, he says hello back but uses the most sarcastic childish tone I have ever heard almost as if he's trying to say that's what I sound like? Like a stroppy teenager or something.

I cooked us lunch in the slow cooker, we sit down to eat and he drops a comment about the carrots being too hard.

He will try and embarrass me on any occasion he can, once we all went to Go ape, it's not my type of thing but I was up for going etc, waiting to go on the zip wires and he prods me and goes it's your turn now sarcastically and laughing, it annoys me because I don't understand why he thought I was so bothered about it to take the piss.

So I'm sat on the sofa replying to important work emails, were all sat having a cup of tea and he starts prodding me and says "Your always on that bloody iPad click clicking away" ... I am not, but also think so fucking what? He very rarely comes round either to say that, He goes imagine if it made a clicky noise it's all we'd hear! I said I'm not texting on here.

How do I honestly deal with him? I'm in my mid twenties with a 4 year old dd, I'm not a child. Has anyone else came across someone like this? I feel like dropping sarcy remarks back although I just want to tell him him to piss off an stop prodding me.

Why do you see so much of him?
He probably fancies you.

Sorry I meant to put I don't see much of him. I doubt it and I bloody hope not, he does my headin so much!

Dd was trying to get into the kitchen cupboard I said she's probably getting hungry now, and he says "Have you not been feeding her again" it's just little remarks that get on my nerves! And the prodding!

I don't know why he has to speak so sarcastically and just take the piss, he speaks to me like a child. Wish he'd be more like dp real dad..

He probably fancies you.

Why do people always do that? Some arsehole is being horrible, clearly that's some sign of attraction? This is probably the least helpful response to threads like this.

OP have you discussed this with your boyfriend? What does he say when his step dad gets on at you? Could you ask the step dad what his problem is?

Smile nicely next time he prods you and look him straight in the eye and quietly utter "if you prod me once more......I will break your finger.....are we clear?"

God he sounds awful.
How do you respond ?
You really need to stand up for yourself here.
Can you say ' why are you speaking in a funny voice?'
I would challenge him every single time.

He sounds an absolute dick, I would not go round, see your boyfriend, away from him.

I'd start prodding him back.

I'm all done with the email.
more gravy?
tea? two sugars?

He'll soon stop.

Every single time ask him why he is prodding you. Stand up to him. He doesn't like or respect you.

Smile nicely next time he prods you and look him straight in the eye and quietly utter "if you prod me once more......I will break your finger.....are we clear?"
^

Why are you emailing when you have visitors?

I just feel like he's a massive piss taker but I hate it and it makes me feel uncomfortable. Whenever he speaks like a child I just normally ignore him but it's been years now an he still does it, I'll ask him why he's talking that way and hopefully that will make him feel daft! He sounds like a stroppy teenager.

He doesn't do it with anyone else. Thank you for all the advice, I'll repeatedly ask him why he's doing it and hopefully make him feel stupid, or prod him back. I feel like I have to just grit my teeth because if I say anything I'll show how pissed off I am and don't wanna say anything bad like please fuck off.

I was only replying to a couple of work emails it took me 10 mins max, we were all sat around having a cup of tea, dp was playing with dd and they were watching and joining in with them mainly. I just feel uncomfortable around him!

Your boyfriends' step dad?

Why do you even see him? I see my husband's parents three times a year and don't really engage with them much... because they're not my parents and are sort of strangers really.

Don't go to his house and don't let him in yours.

If your boyfriend doesn't support this and wants to keep bringing his weird-as-fuck dodgy relatives into your home, change the locks. Life is too short to have weird old men dicking around in your kitchen offering parenting advice. Literally - you do not have to put up with this.

Why do you even see him? I see my husband's parents three times a year and don't really engage with them much... because they're not my parents and are sort of strangers really.
Wow that is really sad. Also they are family, they are your in laws, actual parents of your Dh. Does your Dh feel this way about your parents?
I would be very sad to hear this if my sons Gf's felt this way.
I'd definitely call your DP's step dad on the poking thing, it would drive me mad. He's rude to you, so doesn't mind being rude, be rude back.

I very rarely go their house as they don't live near by. I hate it when they come round if I'm honest, dp dads side are lovely I'd much rather spend time with them.

I have mentioned it to do so many times but he doesn't really say much about it or probably just thinks I'm going on.

Wasn't sure weather I was just being over sensitive when I first posted but I shouldn't be made to feel uncomfortable in my own home.

He called dd a little shit and I had to bite my tongue, I know some people say it in a almost you little bugger way, but it just made me think why do you think you can call my daughter a little shit .. she was messing around jumping all over her dad!

He's an arse OP, nothing more to it. You won't change him so it's a matter of making life bearable for yourself. I would do a combination of seeing him as little as possible (including making myself 'busy' in another room during visits if necessary), calling him out on his behaviour whenever you can manage it and finding ways to stop him winding you up as much as possible.

So the prodding for instance, I would make a conscious effort not to allow him to get physically close enough to do it, it won't always be possible but you can minimise his opportunities. You could call him out on the voice thing by saying 'is something wrong with your throat SF, your voice sounds very strange' every time he does it and as for calling DD a little shit I would just say 'we don't use that sort of language around her if you don't mind SF'.

With people like this, who you can't necessarily remove from your life completely, all you can do is make it as easy on yourself as you can. I loathe my own SF but adore my DM so have just come up with strategies to deal with him. For instance he loves to invade your personal space or block your way so you have to ask him to move so I try really hard to preempt his twattish moves and don't allow him to get too close or trap me so I can't get by. It's almost a game now and I'll admit I take great pleasure in 'beating' him