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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be too chicken to go back....

33 replies

MaryPoppinsPenguins · 21/08/2017 13:53

I just dropped my children at a craft class and as I turned I hit someone's car 😩

I feel so shaky and sick today it's totally my fault and I just shouldn't have been driving.

I couldn't stop right there, so sat for two seconds in a bit of a panic and then drove three or four cars ahead and pulled into a space... got out to try and work out who's car it was or what to do and got my kids out..

A guy came storming out of a shop and I assumed it must have been his car so said 'I'm so sorry, was that your car?' And he just ignored me and took my picture. Then a picture of my car. Said 'you were just going to leave... and when the owner comes this is my insurance and ill tell him you we're trying to leave' I said that obviously I wasn't as I'd got out of the car! He shouted at me in the street in front of my children. I really do feel so ill today and I just burst into tears Blush

Went into the nearest shop to the car and asked if I could leave my number and name and put a note on the car to pop into the shop. In the meantime the guy who's car it wasn't is still trying to have a go at me.

I put my kids in their class and came home and I'm just a shaking wreck. I don't want to go back. I just feel like I'm going to be screamed at in the street and I should just ask someone else to pick my girls up...

OP posts:
Original poster
MaryPoppinsPenguins · 21/08/2017 13:58

DH is going to kill me

OP posts:
peachgreen · 21/08/2017 14:07

Just ignore him OP, you did the right thing and he's just being an interfering arse. Hope you're feeling a bit better now - accidents happen. Have a hot sweet cup of tea. i hope your DH is more understanding than you're imagining.

Dina1234 · 21/08/2017 14:08

You should have threatened to call the police

MrsDc7 · 21/08/2017 14:09

Oh dear that's such a fright for you. He sounds like a dickhead. It was an accident, you've left your details - it happens every day. Don't worry about it too much. Did you see the extent of the damage? x

TroysMammy · 21/08/2017 14:11

You pulled into a safe place to sort it out. Did he expect you to abandon your car in the middle of the road and cause an obstruction? You did the right thing, that man is a twat.

Felicitychipmunkx · 21/08/2017 14:15

Ignore the stupid man.
You went into a bit of shock.
You didn't leave the scene; you found a safe place to sort it out.
I hope your DP is understanding.
Shit happens. Hope you're ok!

tiggytape · 21/08/2017 14:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
MaryPoppinsPenguins · 21/08/2017 14:30

Thanks, I feel a bit better!

I took photos of the damage on both cars and a picture of the note saying to go into the shop. I didn't just want to write my name and number when the guy was having a go at me in case he took it or something.

OP posts:
tiggytape · 21/08/2017 14:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SavoyCabbage · 21/08/2017 14:47

You couldn't have handled it any better.

elfinpre · 21/08/2017 14:52

You have done well.

Sorry you had a shitclown shouting at you. Flowers Bet it made his day to shout at a woman, bullying busybody.

anotherAnotherUsername · 21/08/2017 15:04

What do you mean Elfinpre?

"Bet it made his day to shout at a woman"

I think you were lucky it was a car and not a person OP. If you feel you shouldn't have been driving, why were you?

Original poster
MaryPoppinsPenguins · 21/08/2017 15:07

I thought it would be fine, I didn't go out knowing I would hit a car. On reflection, no, I feel shaky and spaced out and I shouldn't have been driving, but I haven't tried to say it wasn't my fault. Of course it was.

OP posts:
GladAllOver · 21/08/2017 15:11

It would be good to ring the local police station and report it, just to make absolutely sure you are above suspicion.

anotherAnotherUsername · 21/08/2017 15:14

I think the other person was acting like an arse.

I think that as an adult in charge of a large chunk of potentially-lethal metal, there should be no room for "on reflection".

When someone is spaced out, they shouldn't be driving. You shouldn't have risked your children's and other people's live to take them to a craft class. If you felt spaced out when half way there you should have pulled over and called someone. Maybe the police, maybe a friend or family member. I hope you aren't going back to collect them.

Your behaviour was terrible and is entirely separate from the witnesses'. Have a google of diabetic drivers who killed pedestrians or other passengers. You being too spaced out to drive is no different. Get a taxi.

mounyaandyiolanda · 21/08/2017 15:19

Get back in the car and pick your DC up.
While you're at it, go Into the shop and see if that horror of a man is there. Get his name too and threaten to have him done for intimidation (if that's even a thing)

anotheranother go away.

anotherAnotherUsername · 21/08/2017 15:25

mounyaandyiolanda

The OP doesn't feel like she should have been driving yet you're encouraging her to and you see me as the woman in the wrong?

Genuinely Confused

Original poster
MaryPoppinsPenguins · 21/08/2017 15:35

I didn't go and pick them up, my brother went for me.

Anotheranotherusername have you never driven while feeling ill?

OP posts:
anotherAnotherUsername · 21/08/2017 15:44

MaryPoppinsPenguins

Never "spaced out". I have a Class B Racing licence and think my driving ability is way above average but would get a taxi. I can honestly say I've never driven and thought that I shouldn't have "on reflection".

Like I said, your actions and those of the other man seem separate to me and he was clearly an arse. Still waiting to understand exactly what elfinpre meant and why mounyaandyiolanda thinks I'm in the wrong.

PinkPuffin · 21/08/2017 15:50

OP, that sounds horrible! I once almost scraped a car when parking and the dickhead owner lit up a cigarette whilst he watched me struggle to get out of the space without causing actual visible damage. It stressed me out so much that I swallowed my pride, got out, and let DH sort it. Didn't help we still had P plates on the car

FWIW, I wrote off our car last week by bumping into a lamp post when parking. Yes, DH was pissed off, but after a couple of hours he too could see it had been an accident, albeit a stupid one. I hope your DH has the same attitude! Flowers the shock when you hear a crunch and you know you've messed it up is awful!

Felicitychipmunkx · 21/08/2017 15:50

But you would never needed to have " reflected " if you hadn't crashed Anotherusername would you?
So that doesn't really make much sense
I'm sure most people have driven whilst they've got a cold / a toothache / numerous annoying bits and pieces that happen regularly but kids lives don't just stop because a parent has a headache!

anotherAnotherUsername · 21/08/2017 16:05

Felicitychipmunkx

I've crashed twice driving on public roads. Both times wrote off the car I was in and both times was entirely exonerated by insurance companies and the police.

I reflect on journeys and have never had one where I don't think I should have driven What's your point?

mounyaandyiolanda · 21/08/2017 16:11

another your tone is accusatory that's why I asked you to leave the thread. The holier than thou attitude just does not wash.

elfinpre · 21/08/2017 16:22

Because he was being a fucking busybody, it wasn't his car she hit, she wasn't driving away, and some men get off on shouting at women, when they would not do the same if a bloke was driving, another.

anotherAnotherUsername · 21/08/2017 16:26

elfinpre

Ah, I do love me a good generalisation based on sex. Glad you could provide one.

mounyaandyiolanda

Of course it was accusatory. The OP shouldn't have been in charge of a car. I was accusing her of being a negligent idiot.