I can't tell me friend I think this is a bad idea can I?

[HoneyIshrunktheBiscuit]

My best friend is a newly qualified nurse. She's been working since the beginning of the year but during that time she's had a substantial amount of time off work because of stress and depression. Obviously with the state of the NHS at the moment this is really understandable and I admire how she has pushed through it all. I also work in the public sector so I do it get it.

She's just told me she's been offered an interview for medical school to train to be a doctor. She's excited and I've of course congratulated her and wished her good luck. But I'm just concerned if this is a wise idea considering she is struggling to an extent with the pressures of being a nurse. I'm worried for her own mental health that she is going to put too much pressure on herself. She's my best friend in the entire world and I want her to be happy and ok. But I can't possible tell her I think this is a bad idea can I?

She is stressed as a nurse she might be as a doctor too. She will learn.. we all do... and might get used to it and will know how to handle the pressure either way.. wishing her all the best.

I've just found this on the What Uni? clearing site. Would it be relevant to scholarship interviews?
Finding a place on a medicine clearing course for 2017

I am not sure being a nurse is any less stressful than being a doctor.

All other things being equal, there's nothing wrong with aiming for additional qualification.

Assuming this is actually happening, (not accusing you of making anything up op. I just don't understand how someone who was too ill to work might have managed to pass the GAMSAT, if that's the route your friend has taken).

I just wanted to add that my sister, (who I mentioned up thread), was a carer in care homes before she did medicine. I don't think she has found her medical degree all that much more stressful than her care roles. She seems to breeze through a lot of the practical stuff, compared to some of her fellow students who have come straight from school. She's passed all her exams too and is about to start fourth year. She hasn't had the health problems your friend has, but just saying that it hasn't been a major stress for my sister (so far) and that I think experience in a caring role can be beneficial.

FWIW I found my first year as a qualified nurse extremely stressful and that was 20 years ago. I'm now a Band 7 in a specialist area and I see what a lot of nurses are up against on the wards these days and it's far worse than when I was a junior nurse.

I can absolutely understand why your friend wants to go back to what she may perceive as the safety of being a student again but she clearly needs some help with her mental health / stress if she's not getting it already.

I know a couple of nurses who've retrained as doctors: one did extremely well the other who was young, very bright and a fantastic nurse had a dreadful time and quit very soon after qualifying.

I don't think she's sat her GAMSAT.

This is the first she's mentioned to me about applying for medicine. A few weeks ago she was talking about buying a house.

It's not that I think that being a doctor is more stressful it's just that the thing she was off with stress about was having too much responsibility compared to when she was a student.

Well, I know my sister didn't get asked for interview or even apply till she had her GAMSAT in the bag. Before that, it was all just researching universities and concentrating on passing the exam I think.

Maybe scholarship interviews are different though. Or maybe she's following some other route or her choice of university doesn't have the same requirements.

If it was your partner you would have to say something since failing/wasted uni course was going to impact your lives.

Since this won't impact you at all, no I don't think you can say anything. Just support her and who knows, she may come through it.

If you discuss it do it in a round about way like saying "that sounds like a high pressure course, I'm not sure I could handle the stress".

The course isn't that stressful, it's the actual job that's the problem.

Well same thing, even if she does the whole course and can hack the job, at least she tried and it doesn't impact you.

I would agree that it doesn't sound like the best idea, but it's difficult to tell a friend that and IMO not worth it or helpful.

By asking "that's a stressful job, not sure I could do it" or "I've had a few doctors tell me they can't handle the stress" you can give her something to think about without saying "you can't handle it" which may be true but might be hard to hear.

*can't hack the job

Is it buckinghamshire university? They are offering existing nurses and paramedics scholarships I think.

Well same thing, even if she does the whole course and can hack the job, at least she tried and it doesn't impact you

it impacts everyone a little bit if people take one lot of public funding, can't hack the job so go out sick on the public purse, then take another huge amount of public funding and find they can't hack that job either.

It costs a lot of money to train a nurse, and much more to train a doctor. They are expected to actually work as nurses and doctors once they have gained all that very expensive training.

True, but I dont think it's OPs responsibility to step in here and protect the public purse by stopping her friend. Not that she could anyway, if the friend is determined.

It's horrible being a newly qualified nurse, and it's a huge transition between being a student one week and qualified the next. There used to be programmes for new nurses where they were mentored for the first 2 years but perhaps that was unique to the trust I worked for.
Doctors and nurses do different jobs, that's true, but the stresses (I'd think) would be pretty similar - the buck stops with the practitioner (whether you're a nurse or a doctor - your actions and omissions are yours) and often you're making serious decisions (quickly if she goes in for emergency medicine- there's not always time to consult a senior)
Junior doctors work long hours, and work a lot of nights - I don't mean 7-7, but it could be 7pm til rounds the next morning are finished, then back again at 7pm. That's a big strain for anyone, let alone anyone who's struggling anyway.
I would say, imho, she'd be better sorting out her MH issues, working for a bit as a staff nurse once she's recovered a bit, and see where she is. She may decide to go for an additional qualification and that's great, or she may find her feet in nursing, or she may decide to do neither. It just sort of strikes me as 'that's too hard so I'll give it up' and I don't say that to be cruel, at all, I know the stresses on new nurses, but I don't necessarily think medicine will be the answer she's looking for. I'd suggest getting help, building up her reserves, and being mentally healthy would be a far better move for her before considering what's best for her future.
All that said? No, you probably can't say much to her. Perhaps as pp said, suggest the stress levels won't be much different, and has she considered what she'll do if medicine is the same as nursing has been?

I'd just keep schtum and be there for her if it doesn't pan out or she's misread what she's being offered. MH issues aren't great if they're caused by stress and responsibility in any profession let alone medicine.