To feel a bit bleak (bday related)

[SenoritaViva]

Just had a big birthday. We were on holiday in U.K. So not much space in car and not expecting much! Went out to dinner night before which was lovely and DH had booked massage for two days before that was cancelled (not his fault) but enough time/warning to buy a card and something - we were out and about.
So it's not like nothing arranged but on the day nothing to unwrap, no card etc. Children (10 & 5) upset by this.

Also nothing from DN who has lived with us for 8 months and came on holiday with us (19 years, working).
Just a bit bleak and makes me wonder whether I should bother for DH/fam member, prob am being unreasonable but I'd have been happy with a card and something small, just a bit of thought (DH had scribbled on a piece of paper). Is that too much to ask?

No it isn't! DH did this to me once and I returned the favour - he's made more effort since!!

Sometimes you have to stoop to their level

So sorry OP- happy birthday x

@greentulips I was wondering whether childish to do that, I'm tempted!

I know our gift viewing is often misaligned but the lack of anything just made me a bit bleak (a bar of soap wrapped would've been ok, I'm not expecting diamonds!)

@wishing thank you! Think xmas will be much smaller for DH and nineteen year old this year!

Your DN definitely should have got you some flowers or something.

Think a "merry xmas" scribbled on a square of bog roll in crayon ought to do it @senorita

I gave my Dsis a packet of Mac and cheese Pringles for her birthday because she is obsessed with Mac and cheese, cannot afford much but it is the thought that counts

Did you say anything about it being your birthday coming up? Did you say.... ooooh that's what I'd like? I think you deffo need to say.... ahem it's my birthday coming up and I woukd llike.... even if its not tgat it puts the date in their mind and it makes it clear that you expect something, a token...

@sabine - I almost feel more let down by DN as DH bought us all dinner and tried with massage booking. DN has had generous Christmas, wardrobe purchases, lived with us rent free, I found her a job, emotional supportetc for 8 months etc etc. I don't expect value back but an acknowledgement maybe?

Nevertheless that's been and gone and I should get over it and stop feeling a little saddened!

@waa yes, they all knew! DH had promised kids he'd take shopping but didn't, hence when we were going out to dinner they were worried they had nothing for tomorrow. Still didn't inspire anything!

Lack of card for a milestone bday is quite shit.
Sorry OP - and happy birthday to you

Thanks @leccy, wondered if I was being high maintenance!

That is utterly shit OP and despite people who may come on to say 'you should never ever every expect anything from anyone' - I would be heartbroken and if my DP did this.

DN is also shit!!!

Happy birthday

No, I think that is quite shit. Why couldn't the cancelled massage be rearranged? Seems really useless of your DH just to let the whole thing slide. And not unreasonable at all to expect a card/ a little something for any birthday, never mind a big one.

And what about your 10 year old? Surely 10 is old enough to be able to make a card/ organise buying or making a little gift? In fact, I think 5 is old enough to do something for your mother's birthday. So bit rubbish all round. Are they generally this unappreciative? Happy birthday, anyway!

He asked me 'where is my cake?' And I said 'you didn't buy me one' and then he said 'but you do all the other cakes!'

I am not buying my OWN cake

Holy Fuck - I am not in the " oh just a card will do me" contingent on MN. It's go big or go home in our house as far as birthdays are concerned. In fact my DH has his birthday the day after we get back from holiday and the day before DD goes back to school so I'm running around this week to get it all ready. It usually entails several presents ( maybe 10), breakfast in bed, lunch or dinner out and a home made cake. I'm not going to lie it's going to be a PITA with the timing of it but I'll do my best. I think everyone in that car could have come up with something - the 5 year old a home made card, 10 year old pocket money gift and your DH should have been chivvying them along. I'd be a complete Mardy bum over that.... not even a shop bought cake?. Super lame. Sorry you had such a shit day. Happy birthday for what it's worth.

Are you still on holiday? I think you should pick something nice to do tomorrow/ another convenient time and go and do something for yourself. You tell them in the morning " I don't know what you're all doing today but I'm off to ......" and off you go. Get your massage , find some nice shops to mooch around, have lunch or whatever. If your DH asks I would just say that if no-one else is going to arrange it you will do it yourself. Have a great time.

Happy birthday OP . I wouldn't let the 10 yr old off scot free either , how long would it have taken to fold a piece of paper in half and make a card ?

Thank you. We left holiday the day of my birthday and stopped at my parents, mum had made a cake and was given a gift by them, DB and best friend who all stayed for weekend so all was not lost. But nothing from immediate family. As posters have said, a homemade card from kids would have been fab not some rushed scribble from DH saying he'd arrange a party once we move at end of month (I don't like parties much and frankly it would be doing any catering anyway!)