Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's rude and ignorant to call someone the wrong name?

38 replies

EdgeoftheDesert · 20/08/2017 21:29

If you have known them for 9 years.

I know her through my brother in laws side of the family (sisters sister in law), I've been with her to many birthdays, christenings, Christmases, hen dos.

She still calls me the wrong name.

OP posts:
Mum2OneTeen · 20/08/2017 23:56

I once knew a lovely Norwegian family who couldn't pronounce 'th' so I'd get called Hedda instead (like the Ibsen character).

I didn't mind because it sounded so much more exotic and interesting than my actual stodgy sounding name.

minoandolphin · 21/08/2017 00:21

If it's a Julie/Julia situation OP, are they just the kind of person who shortens everyones names? Like if they met a Daniel, they'd call him Dan, Richard they'd call him Rich, Betty they'd call her Bet kind of thing? It's annoying if you're particularly attached to your full name but it's not generally meant to be deliberately offensive.

StickThatInYourPipe · 21/08/2017 00:27

Omg I have done this!

A bloke who works at the same company as me, I have always called him (let's say john) and when we were introduced I thought they said Don. So for 3 years i have called him this. Not really noticed other people calling him something else as wasn't looking out for a correction.

Anyway he finally told me he other day! I was mortified. Luckily he thinks it's funny but still Blush

Please correct her op! You will know from her reaction if she is just being a dick or if she generally has it wrong

toastandbutterandjam · 21/08/2017 00:31

I've got quite a classic name. The way it's spelt is how it's said (if that makes sense) - it also can't be shortened.

I've had people pronounce the "A" in my name as actual A rather than the sound it is in my name. (e.g - saying Bethany as Beth-ay-ny)
I've had people pronounce the "A" the same as you would in a name such as 'Sharon" whereas it's pronounced as it is in the name 'claire'

I also spent some of my schooling (primary and secondary) being called either 'Christina' 'Claire' 'Clara' or 'Chelsea'. I was also repeatedly called 'Ciara' (said as see-air-ah) by one person and when they were told by me, they apologised and started calling me keira (said as key-air-ah)

My name can be confused with 2 or 3 other more common names, but surprisingly never has. It's actually not even similar to any of the names i've been called.

It's a nuisance and i'm glad to be over it now, but when people ask for my name, I do pronounce it very clearly, just to avoid confusion!

Copperbeech33 · 21/08/2017 00:31

(worse IMO because if isn't even a fucking name!) Row-Anna

Roanna is a fairly common name. I certainly know more Roannas than Rowennas!

some of these people may be dyslexic, these are quite common dyslexic mistakes

but some people are just not particularly good at remembering names, its no biggy.

brasty · 21/08/2017 00:35

I really struggle sometimes to hear the differences between similar sounding names. No it is not deliberate.

FoxyRoxy · 21/08/2017 00:36

At risk of outing myself the reverend called me the wrong name at my wedding (name similar to mine) I got a wedding invitation addressed to a name nothing like mine from friends of my DH who had known me years and been to our wedding... 99% of the time it's unintentional. My parents double barrel my surname despite being told for 7 years my surname is just my maiden name no extras, now that annoys me Hmm

StupidSlimyGit · 21/08/2017 00:41

I have a lovely colleague I've been calling Elizabeth for 3.5 years. I found out today she's called Debbie, I genuinely opened this expecting it to be about me Blush. She may well be like me and doesn't notice plus is utterly useless at names. (we all wear name badges where I work, I still get it wrong and I'm always mortified when I realise).

Sorry if this is you though from your posts I think it isn't, I absolutely am trying my best to remember, and I called Paul Dave for a year before anyone corrected me if it's any consolation. Blush

ForagingForFaerieGold · 21/08/2017 01:06

"Trigger, why do you call me Dave? My name's Rodney"
Sorry, couldn't resist.

Point Is, maybe she's just a bit dense.

melj1213 · 21/08/2017 01:44

(worse IMO because if isn't even a fucking name!) Row-Anna

Who wants to be the one to tell my ex-MiL Roanna that her parents clearly made a mistake as her name isn't real?

It is annoying but sometimes people are genuinely mistaken/confused and just never realise they are saying it wrong and just don't hear the difference. Sometimes they read a name and their brain "autocorrects" it to the one they are using because they don't read closely as they think they know what they are reading.

My DD9 has a Spanish name that is also a common English girls name but they are pronounced very differently - think along the lines of Julia where in the Spanish it's pronounced "Who-lia" vs "Jew-lia" in the English pronunciation (DD has a different name, obviously). She spent the first 6 years of her life living in Spain and so her name is pronounced the Spanish way.

Now we live back in the UK people see her name written down and pronounce it with the English pronunciation. At first DD wouldn't even acknowledge them because she genuinely didn't realise that the "Jew-lia" they were referring to was her, as her name is "Who-lia". Once she got used to listening out for the English pronunciation she (or I or her dad) make sure to correct the person asap - the sooner you correct someone, the easier it is for everyone: they genuinely have no idea they are saying it wrong, the person being corrected generally feels less embarrassed as the number of times they have used the "wrong" name is minimised and we always make sure to make it a "FYI moment" rather than a "correction" as it makes people less defensive if you say "Just so you know, DD's name is "Who-lia" not "Jew-lia". It's Spanish so not clear if you've just seen it written down. I also wanted to let you know because I didn't want you to think she was being rude/ignorant/defiant if she doesn't respond to "Jew-lia" rather than start telling them they are wrong.

LustyBusty · 21/08/2017 03:07

I have a similarish situation, where I work there are 3 of us with the same sounding name but spelt differently. E.g. Clare and Clair (picked as both options are equally used and same length). I am Clair, there is another woman at the same site called Clare and a third woman off-site called Clair (so 2 with same spelling). We all get referred to as "Clare". First time someone does it I jokingly say "haha you spelt my name wrong!" and I get the apologies/long day etc. Subsequently I reply to their mails deliberately and obtusely miss spelling their names. One culprit was called Beau, so all their emails were addressed "Bow". Another was Kris, who got "Chris" etc. As pp said, I see it as a "I don't care, you're not important enough for me to care how to address you" so I return the favour... Childish but it amuses me.

CaoNiMartacus · 21/08/2017 07:28

Infuriating!

The worst for me is when I sign an email off with (not my real name but same idea):

"... best wishes, Jenny."

and the reply comes:

"Hi Jennie"

CAN'T YOU READ??

Cacti · 21/08/2017 07:41

My name isn't usually mispronounced but I do get all sorts in written form. The most common is changing the hard C to a K, this only annoys me when it's a colleague or I've already signed off with my correctly spelt name. Others completely change my name, they read it starts with, for example, an H and say Hi Hannah when I've written from Helen.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page