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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask our houseguest to shut up?

27 replies

cherrycolapop · 20/08/2017 19:14

I'm being really vague as she easily could be on here but we've got a close relative of mine staying for a few months as they have no other choice

However. The guest in question plays an instrument (not well). It's not required for her job nor is she a student. Every evening when DH and I sit down to relax she goes upstairs and starts with repetitive chords (strumming instrument) and awful singing

As a consequence we aren't getting any time to relax and it's driving us mad. We wouldn't mind, it's a nice past time, but when we've politely mentioned that it's loud before she gets defensive and says that she must be allowed to learn

WIBU to tell her she's not allowed to do it whilst we're in? It's often the same chords/lines of one song every night and it's driving us MAD

OP posts:

meltingmarshmallows · 20/08/2017 19:21

YANBU.

LML83 · 20/08/2017 19:23

YADNBU! How rude. I would give a limit to practice. 20-30 mins a day ideally before you get home when possible.

Even say neighbours complained or something if you have to.

Your guest obviously isn't bothered about upsetting you so why should you tiptoe round the issue.

LagunaBubbles · 20/08/2017 19:24

It's your house of course you can tell them to give it a rest. If they don't like it they can look elsewhere for somewhere to stay. Must be allowed to learn? In your house? Why do they think that?

MyCatIsABiggerBastardThanYours · 20/08/2017 19:24

YANBU.

She's in your house and it's your rules. That would drive me totally bonkers.

Anatidae · 20/08/2017 19:25

No yanbu. It's your house. She's got some brass neck if she can't see that's annoying when she's a guest in someone else's house 😮

5rivers7hills · 20/08/2017 19:26

So you are doing them a massive favor and they are telling you you MUST let them play?

Fuck that.

Viviennemary · 20/08/2017 19:33

Months is just far too long. Tell her it isn't working and she must find alternative accommodation. I just couldn't stand having somebody for this long. Otherwise tell her no more instrument. Not 20 minutes a day, not one minute a day. Give some folk an inch.

TeachesOfPeaches · 20/08/2017 19:35

If you don't like confrontation then say the neighbours have complained.

Mrscropley · 20/08/2017 19:38

Have you got a shed?

Viviennemary · 20/08/2017 19:41

Good idea about the neighbours. Though it's a bit much to have to make excuses to get peace in your own house with this cuckoo in the nest.

Fekko · 20/08/2017 19:41

I'd take up the trombone.

converseandjeans · 20/08/2017 19:42

Are they paying to stay? Maybe they feel a sense of 'entitlement'? In any case YANBU - that would drive me potty.

Jeanvaljean27 · 20/08/2017 19:43

Advise her that either she learns to strum some relaxing beethoven or mozart pronto or else she's out on her ear.

Preferably a nice transcription of a late beethoven sonata.

IndianaMoleWoman · 20/08/2017 19:44

I need to know the song.

Tell them they can only play in the local park/high street. Then at least they might make some money to contribute.

scottishdiem · 20/08/2017 19:48

90% on the side of OP - it can be very annoying. If its an acoustic guitar then it doesn't need strummed loudly and the singing can be whispered. If its electric then they can plug headphones in surely?

9% is a query - are they with you due to some kind of event or process that can be/is traumatic. Is this a way of coping. Not being in your own home is quite stressful.

1% - just tell her to be quiet or ask her to leave. Sometimes people dont know how bad they are until the ultimatum.

IHeartDodo · 20/08/2017 19:50

Totally NBU!
My brother once spent an entire summer learning the ukulele, in his bedroom directly next to mine... It was SO AWFUL it drove me INSANE!! And I think is the reason behind my eternal hatred of the ukulele still strong 10 years later
He then moved on to the tin whistle... He's lucky to be alive!

Fekko · 20/08/2017 19:51

Oh now, I rather like the ukelele!

TheClacksAreDown · 20/08/2017 19:53

If they really have no other choice then they will have to abide by your wishes to limit this activity.

CreamCheeseBrownies · 20/08/2017 19:54

Can you not put up with 20-30 mins at an agreed time? Banning her completely when you're at home seems OTT.

(we do have simultaneous recorder and pre-grade-1 violin practice every day in our house, so I do know something of what you're going through.)

StrangeLookingParasite · 20/08/2017 19:54

She isn't learning, she's just noodling around. Learning involves practicing properly, which it doesn't sound like she's doing.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 20/08/2017 19:57

'You'll have all the time in the world to practice when you move out'

Flyingflipflop · 20/08/2017 20:01

Cut the strings?

Siwdmae · 20/08/2017 20:04

Why are you putting up with this?

happypoobum · 20/08/2017 20:14

YANBU - you need to draw a line here.

No more Moosik or she fucks off somewhere else.

Original poster

cherrycolapop · 20/08/2017 20:25

I don't want to say the song as it's always the same one and she might read this

It is however, an 80s song that was quite popular and it's too low for her voice. Hence the terrible singing

She's not suffered anything traumatic just some issues with her house which she has to continue paying for but can't live there for next two months. She's been here one already.

OP posts:

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