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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Ex partners in contact

22 replies

Runlovingmummy81 · 20/08/2017 17:13

Just wondered if anyone had any experience of this....

I left my husband as he was emotionally and financially absuive. 2 years down the line and we are now finally divorced, and have a child arrangement order. All had to be done through the courts as he was being unreasonable. He doesn't speak to me at all, even in front of the kids. He won't put kids first with anything.

I am now living with my current partner. He separated from his wife prior to me separating from mine. Their relationship is fairly amicable.

We have three children between us. Been living together a year and kids get on etc.

My ex husband and his ex wife are now in contact and meet up with the kids?

Has this happened to anyone? What are your thoughts?

OP posts:
pingu73 · 20/08/2017 17:15

Ummmm a tad awkward I would feel very very uncomfortable with that scenario

Runlovingmummy81 · 20/08/2017 17:15

I don't see how it is going to do anything other than confuse the kids?

OP posts:
debbs77 · 20/08/2017 17:21

Random! But I guess it depends why they're meeting? To bad mouth you? Or romantically?

Runlovingmummy81 · 20/08/2017 17:21

She's taken her boyfriend of over a year (they live together) and his kid.

OP posts:
Secretsout · 20/08/2017 17:50

My friend (who's H had an affair) went on to marry the OW's husband. 😬

Runlovingmummy81 · 20/08/2017 17:57

Yikes. How did that work?!

OP posts:
Runlovingmummy81 · 20/08/2017 18:03

Are the husband and ow still together?

OP posts:
Secretsout · 20/08/2017 19:17

The OW's husband knocked on my friends door and said 'your H is shagging my W'. The H had been kicked out by my friend weeks before as she was sure he was having an affair. Both couples are still together. Though from what I can gather, the OW is very threatened by my friend and has caused a lot of aggro in order to keep them from having any contact.

Runlovingmummy81 · 20/08/2017 19:44

Good lord!

OP posts:
LornaMumsnet · 21/08/2017 08:36

Hi all,

We're just moving this over to AIBU at the OP's request.

VikingVolva · 21/08/2017 08:47

What's the part you think might be unreasonable?

They are as single as you are, and can form relationships as suit them without the need for your approval.

Runlovingmummy81 · 21/08/2017 08:48

Aibu to think it's a bit weird?

OP posts:
missmollyhadadolly · 21/08/2017 08:53

It's another form of control, OP.

Ignore, ignore, ignore. He's doing it for a reaction.

Has he had a relationship after you?

Runlovingmummy81 · 21/08/2017 08:57

Miss.... That's what I thought. He's had no reaction.

No he hasn't.

She's in an established relationship and they live together.

OP posts:
emmyrose2000 · 22/08/2017 00:32

I'd probably feel weird about it too.

Runlovingmummy81 · 22/08/2017 21:37

Nothing has been mentioned since so I suspect it's all a game and ploy to annoy me lol

OP posts:
MaisyPops · 22/08/2017 21:40

You cant police his relationships. They're not doing anything wrong.

I do think he has a control motive or isntrying to weigh into your new life.

I know your DH and his ex are amicable, but maybe explain the history eith your ex in detail and ask thay he doesn't speak about you to his ex beyond basic pleasantries.

If the ex wife is a nice person there is a chance she could be easily played or manipulated by your abusive ex to gain information etc.

Runlovingmummy81 · 22/08/2017 21:50

They are both similar in their controlling nature. I'm not sure of the motive for meeting up other than to try and be disruption to our lives.

We've both ignored it for the moment. They'll get bored soon enough.

OP posts:
ChevalierTialys · 22/08/2017 21:50

Can't really think of anything more awkward than the exes getting together for family time Hmm Why would they even bother?

If it's just to talk about you and DP then that's really sad.

Runlovingmummy81 · 22/08/2017 21:51

I agree. It's sad that they have nothing better to do. I feel for her new partner! Must be a bit random for him! Shock

OP posts:
Starlight2345 · 22/08/2017 21:54

Odd..Yes seems another ploy to annoy you....Response if asked great the chidren will all get more time together...Will bother them far more.

Runlovingmummy81 · 22/08/2017 21:56

The children love being together so yes you are right!

OP posts:
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