You are the fattest person in school!

[Llamacorn]

Wow, you must have an eating disorder, look how fat you are. You can't see any of your bones under all that fat. You don't even have a thigh gap. Your legs look like tree trunks. How do you even fit into any clothes? And many more.

Why would none of this be ok to say to someone who is overweight. Yet it seems it's perfectly acceptable to say to someone in regards to them being 'skinny'.

My dd1 is slim, has a great appetite and is within a healthy weight limit. She also does martial arts and has a lot of muscle. But yes, she is skinny. She constantly gets remarks at school, from people asking if her legs will snap, to strangers asking if she is anorexic. This upsets her the most, as people are insinuating she has a mental health condition, and not even broaching the subject subtly.

Dd has spoken to her year head about this, and the only answer she was given was to be 'thankful' she is so skinny, the rest of the girls must be jealous and if it really bothered her she could perhaps try and eat more!! Aibu in thinking that if someone had complained to their year head about bullying for being overweight, then they would have had a completely different response, and been taken more seriously?

Why is it ok, or perhaps more acceptable, to tell someone how skinny they are, but not if they are fat?

Aibu?

Dd has spoken to her year head about this, and the only answer she was given was to be 'thankful' she is so skinny, the rest of the girls must be jealous and if it really bothered her she could perhaps try and eat more!!

If the Head of year actually said she should eat more if she is bothered then I would be making a complaint.

I have two slim DDs who get negative comments from time to time about their very healthy weight. It's annoying and rude.

Her teacher said that? I'd flip my lid. The teacher (or any adult / scrap that anyone) should not be commenting on her body.

To say she should be thankful is so rude. She may have a medical condition? Or an ed.

YANBU. She has the right to education without being bullied and having her appearance mocked / discussed.

Sorry OP to clarify I'm not saying that her being skinny warrants a reason, I'm sure she's a healthy happy young girl just that it was an insensitive and silly thing for them to say.

I'm amazed a head of year would actually say that. I'd request a meeting to discuss those comments and find out how they are going to treat the way your daughter is being made to feel seriously.

My Kids are skinny but healthy too. Typical 1970's wirey figures. However we are surrounded by people with a warped sense of what is healthy. Adults included. I would also be cross in your shoes.

I don't know. I got the same kind of crap when I was underweight, which was until I was 28 years old. And when someone in my class went on a diet, I was always the first to know as they would usually become extremely bitchy towards me. Didn't help that I has a metabolism like a teenage boy and ate all the time. If I ate like that now, I would gain two kilos a week. I especially hated to be asked if I was anorectic. Since when is it ok to go over to someone who is a total stranger and ask if they have a mental illness. I once went on a hen nigth with a bunch of nurses, as my friend, who was getting married was a nurse (never ever eat together with a bunch of nurses who work in the same ward. They discussed the patients bowl movements etc while we were eating). When I came back to the table after being to the toilet one of them just loudly assumed that I was bullimic and had just been out to vomit the meal up. I coldly informed her, that yes, I was indeed ill, but it was a bladder infection and not bulimia and then I gave her the evil eye for the rest of the evening. She had the good sense to look embarrased.

I think you should contact the school and let them know that it is not ok to shame someone for their appearance and neither is it ok to accuse people of being mentally ill. I suggest you demand that, that kind of behaviour has consequences.

Thank you, I'm so glad I'm not bu! I am waiting on a call back from the year head as I am fuming dd was told this and called back straight away.
Although thinks I should just let it go because she's used to it, and dh thinks I'm being over dramatic.

I agree that some people mean it positively, but it's really awful seeing dd get so down about it and people don't realise what a detrimental affect it can have on a teenage girl.

I blew up at work over skinny comments made to me. Whenever I say I'm cold I'm told to put weight on. Well excuse me, when you moan your too hot I'm going to tell you to lose weight.

The school are out if order. If it was the other way around they wouldn't be saying just lose some weight. These comments care potential eating disorder causing.