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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To say something to my friend about the video she's shared on Facebook of her child?

26 replies

MrsOverTheRoad · 20/08/2017 14:13

Some details are altered here because I don't want anything to get recognised.

My friend has two sons who are 14 and 15 and a DD who'se 7.

She's on holiday with them and her DH currently. They're obviously having a lovely time, hot weather, beach activities etc.

She's added a video of her sons, DD and her DH all taking turns jumping in the pool in their swimmers.

One of her sons is overweight and in the video, it's slow motion and his stomach is jiggling up and down.

My DD has told me that there's a whole piss taking thing about this going on through social media from kids in his school.

I'm so upset.

If I say something, I'll have to not only tell her her son is overweight (perhaps she's just not noticed?) and I'll also have to tell her all the kids are bloody laughing at him and making memes.

:(

OP posts:
Lukeandlorelai4Ever · 20/08/2017 14:15

That is awful. Definitely say something to her asap. Kids can be so cruel

Pengggwn · 20/08/2017 14:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sirzy · 20/08/2017 14:16

Presumably though she has watched the video herself so has seen it and can make her own call on it?

However when she is home you wouldn't be unreasonable to make sure she is aware of the images that have been reproduced and then leave her to deal with it. In the meantime encourage your daughter to report it when she sees it on Social media

MrsOverTheRoad · 20/08/2017 14:29

Sirzy well...she must have watched it but I think she's just not seen her son's weight issue. I know her and she'd never set out to humiliate her child. She's very fit herself and this is a bit odd really. Why would she post it unless she wasn't Seeing his issue

OP posts:
notanotherNC · 20/08/2017 14:30

Have you explained to your DD that this is cruel bullying?

smashtheglass · 20/08/2017 14:33

I would not tell her that her child was overweight but I would let her know that some children are behaving in an unkind manner towards him.

MrsOverTheRoad · 20/08/2017 14:42

NotAnother Well she KNEW that already! That's why she told me of course.

OP posts:
VestalVirgin · 20/08/2017 14:42

You can totally phrase it as raising awareness of the dangers of social media.

I don't think private holiday videos should be shared on Facebook, anyway, regardless of the weight of the people depicted.

No need to even mention his weight, just say that the kids are making fun of it and that it is a risk of sharing private things on Facebook.

gamerchick · 20/08/2017 14:49

Just tell her that kids are taking the piss out of the video she's posted.

How have they seen it anyway? Does she have her kids friends on her Facebook? Confused

You don't need to mention weight at all she can work it out for herself.

Pengggwn · 20/08/2017 14:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pigeonpost · 20/08/2017 14:58

Yes, tell her so she can take it down. Stupid woman should think a bit more carefully before posting pictures of her teenage kids on social media without thinking how it might affect them.

Buckinghambae · 20/08/2017 15:01

Has she tagged him in it? Hence it's round school..

pigeondujour · 20/08/2017 15:05

It's not the risk of sharing 'private things' on Facebook. It's the risk of other people's kids being little cunts.

RebeccaWrongDaily · 20/08/2017 15:06

poor kid, if his stomach is so big it's jiggling then it's unlikely she has no idea that he is obese.

No point taking it down, it'll have been screen shot and shared and saved all over the place.

Giraffesonabigboat · 20/08/2017 15:08

Poor boy

FizzyGreenWater · 20/08/2017 15:10

Just tell her the kids are making fun of the video as it's slow motion and they think it looks silly.

wizzywig · 20/08/2017 15:12

Oh crap you are in a difficult position. The coward in me says to say nothing

StillDrivingMeBonkers · 20/08/2017 15:14

Rebecca beat me to it, that will be shared, circulated, posted, saved.

The boy will already know though. Children are vicious little beasts at times.

If I say something, I'll have to not only tell her her son is overweight (perhaps she's just not noticed?) and I'll also have to tell her all the kids are bloody laughing at him and making memes.

Stick to facts :Eg, ""DD says your holiday video has been being circulated round X childs peer group. I though you should know, the comments are centred round his weight".

GreenTulips · 20/08/2017 15:16

Which is why people are toldto be careful - how a grown woman could do this to her teens is unbelievable

How do you thing these videos get in line - free

Beadieeye · 20/08/2017 16:01

Just leave them to it. What good will come of it? Bullies are never justified or right. Should she not have posted it then? Should she take it down? Should her son and the mum be ashamed and think twice next time or better yet, just tell her son to sit the family videos out next time?
Overweight or not, bits can jiggle. It's just a wobbly belly. If idiots want to take the piss, ignore them, they will soon move on to the next 'hilarious' victim.
Good on the family for not giving a fuck and just enjoying life.

BensonMadcat · 20/08/2017 16:02

You don't have to mention weight: "You might want to check your privacy settings/think twice about tagging your kids - DD said kids have been commenting on a video you posted and being nasty."

EezerGoode · 20/08/2017 17:17

Bet she's done it on purpose,to shame him in to loosing weight

EezerGoode · 20/08/2017 17:21

I remember my mum giving me two packed suitcases to hold,and telling me that's how much weight I had to loose....right before a holiday as well...only an idiot would not of known how cruel kids can be,she knew he would be teased..I bet anything she knew exactly what she was doing

SoupDragon · 20/08/2017 17:29

Bet she's done it on purpose,to shame him in to loosing weight

Only if she's a total bitch.

GreenTulips · 20/08/2017 18:34

Should she not have posted it then?

No she shouldn't - he has a right to privacy and not to be embarrassed by those who supposedly love him.

She's an idiot if she hasn't realised teens are cruel - that video will be lifted and sent round the whole school in minuets - it won't disappear