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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to request chairs on big day in two weeks?

24 replies

StandardNameHere · 20/08/2017 07:54

I am getting married on 3rd september which I'm very excited about but terrified about the cemerony.
I am wearing a tight dress and high heels, I already suffer with anxiety (and depression but that's another story) which can make me physically sick and faint so all the worst case scenarios are already flying around.
Would it look silly to have two chairs/ stools at the front for me and the groom?
I think it would calm my nerves knowing I won't have to stand for 20 minutes in front of everyone Blush

OP posts:
honeysucklejasmine · 20/08/2017 07:55

I had chairs for me and the husband. Only stood for bits where they ask everyone to stand anyway.

nutbrownhare15 · 20/08/2017 07:56

Yanbu. I think all couples I've seen get married have had seats for readings etc

IfYouGoDownToTheWoodsToday · 20/08/2017 07:56

Of course it would be fine to ask for chairs- just explain why.

Do you feel comfortable in your outfit? I only ask as you've mentioned it here.

IfYouDontImagineNothingHappens · 20/08/2017 08:00

Have you tried sitting down in your dress? If it's that tight will you be comfortable getting up and down in it?

Original poster
StandardNameHere · 20/08/2017 08:02

I love my dress and I am comfortable in it but part of my anxiety it that I look for problems so if I get thought in my head about my dress feeling tight then I know I will start feeling hot and bothered.
I've never been to a wedding where the bride and groom had seats so didn't realise that it could be an option.

OP posts:
Spikeyball · 20/08/2017 08:11

We had chairs at our wedding and I think there were chairs for the bride and groom at every wedding I have been to.

mummy2oneandtwo · 20/08/2017 08:18

At my own wedding and all weddings I've been to the bride and groom don't stand for the whole ceremony, you do sit down for some of it xx

IfYouGoDownToTheWoodsToday · 20/08/2017 08:19

Yes you must try and sit down in your dress. You will also need to eat during the day so you don't want it mega tight! Can you put it on today and reassure yourself you can walk around, sit down and breath ok in it?
Once you've done that try to remember that it is all about you and your partner getting married- that's why everyone is there, nothing else really matters. (I know the other stuff is important but you are there, primarily to marry each other)

highinthesky · 20/08/2017 08:23

IIRC Kate and Wills sat down after they made theirs vows. I didn't think it was unusual.

BewilderedBeaver · 20/08/2017 08:24

It's your wedding day. Do whatever makes you feel comfortable. I don't remember sitting during my wedding but as a guest I wouldn't think twice if the bride and groom sat during the ceremony and reading other posts it may well be normal to do so. Don't worry at all about what other people think, do whatever you need to do x

Starlighter · 20/08/2017 08:26

We were offered seats. Some couples do, some couples don't.

But it's your wedding, regardless of what others thinks, do what you want to do! Hope it goes well. Enjoy it! Flowers

RedHelenB · 20/08/2017 08:26

Never seen chairs in a church but normal at A registry office

Ameliablue · 20/08/2017 08:30

We had chairs in church. It's normal in Catholic weddings as it's a full Mass so a long time to stand.

eurochick · 20/08/2017 08:33

We didn't have chairs but had a super short ceremony - no readings, no songs, etc. So it's worth checking with the venue. I've seen them used at longer ceremonies.

Twickerhun · 20/08/2017 08:36

We had mahousive chairs at our church wedding (church of England) turned out they were bishops thrones. It's your special day - ask for a chair, glass of water, anything you need. Just ask with a smile. :)

AztecHero · 20/08/2017 08:44

we had chairs at our registry office wedding.

Have a lovely day.:)

TheSnowFairy · 20/08/2017 08:48

Have you tried propranolol for your anxiety?

It has changed my life.

I only take it for situations I am worried about and it takes away the physical reactions, which means my brain doesn't panic.

Good luck & congratulations Flowers

CarolinePenvenen · 20/08/2017 08:59

Catholic Church wedding and we had chairs. Regardless of that, it’s your wedding, you can sit on flying carpets if that’s what you want to do.

MarmaladeIsMyJam · 20/08/2017 09:02

Every wedding I've been to the bride and groom sit down during readings etc.

AztecHero · 20/08/2017 09:02

Caroline please don't mention flying carpets out loud. [glances furtively around]. I have an Aladdin-obsessed 8 year old who thinks that the only reason why we don't have a flying carpet yet is because mummy hasn't chosen the right one on Amazon yet.

operaha · 20/08/2017 09:35

Omg do it, it's my biggest regret about my wedding day, my anxiety was off the wall and I spent the entire ceremony thinking I was going to pass out.

Definitely do it.

You're getting married on my birthday, it's a sign!

Nocabbageinmyeye · 20/08/2017 09:38

In all the weddings I have been to I have never ever seen one without chairs Confused why would you not have chairs???

TheChippendenSpook · 20/08/2017 09:41

I was at a wedding in a church last week and the bride and groom Sat down for parts of the ceremony Smile

CarolinePenvenen · 20/08/2017 09:43

Aztec Grin

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