To ask WWYD

11 replies

lastqueenofscotland · 19/08/2017 14:18

A friend of mine has been seeing this man for a few weeks, I realised the other day when she showed me a photo that I know him, and he's married with kids. Wife is a SAHP and as far as I was aware he was the perfect family man. Clearly not. Friend has ofcourse called it off

I feel very very sorry for his wife who adores him but is also totally dependent on him, they met young she's always stayed at home never worked etc so might struggle if she did leave... but I feel she should know.
I feel I may be clouded by anger... WWYD

OP posts:

reportPost · 19/08/2017 14:24

tell her

EdmundCleverClogs · 19/08/2017 14:26

That's quite a dilemma. My 'sense of righteousness' say she has a right to know. On the other hand, since you're not the one who accidentally got involved with him, I'm not sure if it's your place to say anything, especially in respect to your friendship. How well do you know the wife? Would your friend be willing to tell her, explaining what happened with better facts? Poor woman, and your poor friend. What a scumbag.

Undercoverbanana · 19/08/2017 14:31

If I'm understanding you correctly, it's the man that you know and not his wife. I think I would talk to him and make him see that he needs to come clean to his wife so they can make a new start with honesty or split amicably for the DCs. He needs to understand that if you know then others do too and it will all be worse when it comes out (which it will - it always does.)

Original poster

lastqueenofscotland · 19/08/2017 14:33

Undercover I probably didn't word it that well, I know the family as they live very nearby.

OP posts:

Undercoverbanana · 19/08/2017 14:38

I still think I would speak to him. Difficult position for you to be in, but nothing compared to the hurt to his wife. Hope your friend wasn't too hurt by it all.

FizzyGreenWater · 19/08/2017 15:19

Yes tell her

Bizzysocks · 19/08/2017 15:23

I would tell her, she will need time to get her ducks in a row before the next time and he leaves her.

DailyMailReadersAreThick · 19/08/2017 15:23

I'd tell her right away. The man's wife has the most to lose and, in her position, I'd want to know. I think most women would.

Aridane · 19/08/2017 15:46

Leave alone

StillDrivingMeBonkers · 19/08/2017 15:54

A photo is no proof. I could show you a photo and claim I was sleeping with someone. Tread carefully when passing on gossip.

FWIW I also know a pair of brother s who look identical and interchange names and IDs.

bunningsbunny · 19/08/2017 16:13

Did you tell your friend that he was married or did she already know? Had he told her that he was having an affair with her or that he was single/separated/divorced and was looking for a proper relationship with her?

Also depends how they met I guess which ties in with that.

Assuming you told your friend - how did she react? If I discovered someone I had started seeing and thought that we were having a proper relationship then I would be horrified and stopping it there and then.

Sorry, lots of questions! But the answers would inform my actions.

Flip