AIBU to tell her to STOP talking!!!

[Flatt7]

Working with a colleague in a professional capacity.

She is currently sleeping with a married member of the profession. There is not an open marriage. I know this despite not being her friend. How, you ask? Well, she just blurts out all these details all the bloody time!

Sometimes she reads me strings of what she apparently thinks are witty and erudite texts between them. She doesn't seem to notice (or care!) that my reactions are disengagement or redirection of the conversation where I can, or simple "Mm" or "I see" type answers.

I really don't care about her unsolicited life-dump on me anyway, but when you add in that she is doing something I think is pretty shitty (and seems to think it makes her wild and adventurous), I just want to tell her to stop talking about this shit and just do her job!

Sooooo, AIBU?

Mmm and I see are far too vague.

You need to tell her clearly that you do NOT want any details of their affair

YANBU. "I'm sorry but I would rather if you didn't tell me about that. It makes me feel uncomfortable". Job done.

No, YANBU. I'd definitely want to say 'please stop telling me about any this, it makes me extremely uncomfortable'.

I think this is an occasion to put Britishness aside and just tell her straight up - 'Colleague, I enjoy our working relationship but I really don't agree with your current behavior, and would appreciate not hearing the details as it is making things very awkward'. Job done.

"Do shut up dear, you're very crass."

"How's his wife?"

@Stormytherabbit

Your answer wins the goldfish :D

YANBU, she's being unprofessional (and from the sounds of things a right arse-pain )

I don't understand why you have been so vague and wishy washy. (Sorry ). Just tell her that you don't want to hear anything more about it.

I agree with just telling her you would rather not hear the sordid details thanks. If she continues, get up and walk off mid sentence or pick up the phone and cut her off.

I guess I was just trying to be professional myself and not be too rude...but clearly the message isn't coming across.

Going to do the polite, firm thing next time.

Instead of 'Mmm' or 'I see', start replying with 'Oh dear' / 'Oh no' / Oh how awful!' etc. Vaguely sympathetic and sad noises.

When she queries:

'Oh I'm sorry I just can't help thinking about his wife and marriage and all of it when you read out your texts. Sorry, I know that's not what you want to focus on! I hope it works out, really I do'.

That should shut her up.

I still think That's stil too fuzzy Fizzy . I would tell her next time she says anything that you don't want to hear any details about her affair and that you would appreciate if she didn't ever mention it again. No apology, no explanation and no scope for misunderstandanding. I would be polite when I said it but I wouldn't bother pussy footing around either.